Phineas and I had our first fight. Last week he had one day when he didn’t want to go outside, didn’t want to go back inside once we finally got to our walk, didn’t want to go back into our apartment, and then didn’t want me to leave for work. He howled and howled when I left. And not his “I’m sad; don’t leave me” cry” but his “I am so mad at you for leaving me” cry. This was completely unlike Phin. He’s never done that before. the few days prior he did seem to be having some nightmares, and would whimper a little bit in the middle of the night. I should also mention that this same morning both the elevators in my building were clogged due to a movie filming in our building (we live on the 17th floor!), and Phin could hear every single clang of the movie equipment from our apartment. (If they’re going to inconvenience us, the least the producers could do is put us in the movie.) Oy! What a Monday!
I tried everything I could to calm Phin down and nothing, absolutely nothing worked, so I ended up just having to leave with him angry at me. And I was mad at him, too. A grown 35 year old woman angry at a 15 pound, 18 month old dachshund. Now looking back on it, my anger was pretty hilarious. How was Phineas supposed to understand that a movie was filming and he would just have to contend with the noise? At the time it was awful.
In my mind I know Phin was just fine. He had his food and water, his treats, his nice warm bed as well as my nice warm bed if he wanted it. The TV was on and his dog walker was scheduled to take him out later in the afternoon. Still, my heart was sick at work. So sick that I asked the dog walker to send me a text after their walk to let me know if he seemed okay. Chalk it up to still being a beginning full-time dog owner. How do parents manage to their crying children at daycare? A howling dachshund is about all I can manage.
I hate to say this but a small part of my dreaded going home that night. What if Phineas gave me the silent treatment? Maybe I’m a terrible dog parent. What if he didn’t have just a bad morning but this was a turning point in his personality?
Phineas’s walk with the dog walker went well and when I got home he was overjoyed to see me, just like always. We went for a walk, had some dinner, and then he snuggled up next to me on the couch and promptly put himself to bed early. He was just fine. We were just fine. It was just an off morning and nothing more.
Phineas and I learned a valuable thing about love and co-habitation. Eventually, we have to go home and sort out our differences with the beings whom we love. We have to keep showing up. The love and companionship trump any difficulties that may surface along the way. When you love someone, you love regardless of their mood. And yes you’ll get mad and they’ll get mad, but it can and should be forgiven. Tom Stoppard was right – real love means loving them just as they are, Monday morning or not.
Christa Avampato 