“Bows and flows of angel hair. And ice cream castles in the air. And feathered canyons everywhere…Moons and Junes and Ferris Wheels. The dizzy dancing way that you feel. As every fairytale comes real…I’ve looked at life that way.” ~ Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell (my favorite song)
I figured if Jimmy Buffett could write an entire book about how a pirate looks at 50, I could write a post about how a yogini-writer-tech lover looks at 35. Plus, it’s my birthday and on my birthday I always like to reflect on how I’m getting along in the world up to this point. 35 is a magical number. As my mother wisely said, “It’s the age when you’re still young enough to be gorgeous without a lot of work and experienced enough to define your life on your own terms.” She comes up with some real gems!
It’s also the age when you flip into the next demographic age category. I’m no longer in the 18-34 set. I’ve graduated to 35 and beyond. Coincidentally mail from the AARP has started showing up at my home, implying not-so-subtley that “hey lady, you’re no spring chicken.” Brian, my therapist and coach, countered that psychologically we’re adolescents until we’re 40. Goody – 5 more years to continue with my dearly loved shenanigans. I’m going with Brian and assuming that the AARP mail was clearly meant for someone else. I’m sure they just confused “35” for “53”.
A lot of SXSW had me thinking about identity and self-definition. Yogini-writer-tech lover is pretty accurate if a bit long-winded. I wish I had a clever one-word description like Jimmy Buffett does, though for now my 3-pronged approach to life will have to do.
Here are some nuggets I’ve picked up along my 35 year path that I wanted to share with you. They’re in no particular order. One for each year of my life. I hope they’re helpful to you. As always, comments welcomed!
1.) Forgiveness – Asking for forgiveness is the hardest thing we do and yet is one of our most powerful acts. I always try to say I’m sorry as sincerely and quickly as I can once I realize I’ve made an error and I try to forgive others even faster. This goes for forgiving ourselves, too.
2.) Reflection – Life lived forward seems fragmented. It only comes together is a beautiful mosaic when we reflect back. Take the time to reflect and you get to witness a real sense of magic.
3.) Love – Being able to rest in the love of someone else and giving someone who place of rest and love within your life is perhaps the greatest gift to get and receive.
4.) Humor – The more we can laugh at ourselves the more likely we are to be able to take risks.
5.) Vulnerability – Scary concept, and yet the more vulnerable we can stand to be, the more likely we are to discover something and someone really worth finding.
6.) Education – Our greatest lessons are found within.
7.) Balance – No one maintains perfect balance all the time. Our moods shift. We react to our circumstances. We fall of the wagon. It’s okay. Just come back and start again. Yoga helps us regain our footing.
8.) Effectiveness – We often have no idea what the full effect of our words and actions will be on others. Something we say or do can stick with someone for a very long time even if our physical presence in their lives is gone in the blink of an eye. This means that every interaction, no matter how brief, gives us an opportunity to learn and grow.
9.) Gratitude – The phrase “thank you” is the surest way to make someone else feel appreciated. And we can never overuse it.
10.) Faith – We are not human beings on a spiritual path. We are spiritual beings on a human path.
11.) Children – Kids are amazing beings. When we spend time with them, we get the chance to see with new eyes.
12.) Animals – They are our greatest teachers in the practice of just being.
13.) Resilience – It always seems impossible to push through until we do.
14.) Awareness – This is the moment we miss. ~ Chodo Campbell
15.) Unity – We are all born on an inhale and die on an exhale. ~ Chodo Campbell. Regardless of what happens in-between, we all start our roads and finish them together.
16.) Travel – Opening up our eyes to how others live invariably provides us with a greater appreciation for the blessings in our own daily lives.
17.) Losing – It’s often a much better teacher than winning. The lessons of losing stay with us, change us, and ask us to grow.
18.) Patience – It’s a moment-to-moment process. Sometimes we’ll experience it in abundance and sometimes it will escape us altogether. It is a practice, and like any practice, we can always improve.
19.) Flaws – We all have them. And as ugly as they may be from time to time, they make us human. They’re a reminder that we are all always a work-in-progress.
20.) Art – Find a form that makes you feel alive, and practice it as often as possible. Our art will outlast us. It’s our legacy, our gift to others.
21.) Parents – We love them so much because they loved us first. ~ Gary Vaynerchuk
22.) Compassion – This is a gift we can offer to every person at every moment, and it has such a tremendous ability to really alter someone’s life. Give it freely.
23.) Generosity – Releasing our attachment to the outcome of our giving allows us to give more freely, in greater abundance, and with more impact.
24.) Creativity – We are all creative. Let yourself play, and you’ll be surprised at what you can dream up.
25.) Imagination – This should we our favorite place to be.
26.) Dreams – You can make them up and you can let them go as needed. And no matter what’s happening in your life, having a dream will always keep you motivated.
27.) Change – It’s hard for everyone. Have patience as it takes hold in our own lives and the lives of others.
28.) Friendship – A friend is found the moment you meet and say, “Wow! Me, too!” It’s all about connections.
29.) Service – We all have something to give, and even if giving what you have doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, rest assured that it is a big deal to someone else.
30.) Age – We really do get better with age because what we know at this moment is more than we’ve ever known before.
31.) Listening – So many people spend more time talking and less time listening. If we really want to heal the world, the greatest thing we can do to reach that goal is to listen.
32.) Home – We often think of it as a place. It’s much more powerful when we can carry it with us wherever we go.
33.) Design – It’s a part of everything we do. We design our schedules, our interactions, and our thoughts as much as we design our homes and our art. Your life is one big, beautiful design project. Treat it as such.
34.) Happiness – There’s nothing more disarming than a smile.
35.) Hope – The best is always yet to come.
And one more for good measure because, well, why not?
36.) Success – If you can find joy in the accomplishments of others, your own success becomes limitless.
The image above can be found here.
Christa Avampato 