Day: February 14, 2011

“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” ~ David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

If you have a valentine to snuggle up to today then it’s possible that you see February 14th as a day of great excitement. Maybe a romantic dinner, flowers, chocolates, cards. Being in love is one of the very best things that our human existence has to offer.

If you don’t have a valentine in the traditional sense of the word then February 14th may be a day when you curl up on your couch to watch Sleepless in Seattle and hope that next year will be different, chocolates in hand. You might make a promise to yourself that in the next year you will get out there and mingle some more, increasing your likelihood of meeting the right one by next Valentine’s Day.

Or maybe you’re someone who doesn’t even equate February 14th with cupid’s arrow. You’re someone who sees every day as a day when love should be valued. And isn’t this a holiday that Hallmark invented to sell more cards? Your friends, family members, and your pet are your valentines, today and every day.

I fall somewhere in between those latter two groups – someone who would love to be in a committed relationship (after a long time of thinking that a lifetime of first dates and new loves was more fun) and someone who really sees February 14th as a reminder that love is all around us, in a multitude of forms that all deserve to be celebrated. (And for the record, I love Sleepless in Seattle and chocolates.)

But let’s assume that you’re reading this post because you do want to find more romantic love in 2011. How is an adventure-loving single in New York City to meet an equally adventurous single who’s looking for the same? Here are my 4 top ideas for more romantic love in 2011:

1.) If you like the idea of online dating but hate the trolling through profiles a la Match.com and eHarmony, check out Howaboutwe.com. Howaboutwe is a dating site that introduces you to profiles of singles based upon the types of dates they want to go on. You get a feel for the person’s personality as well as their interests, perhaps a better indicator of whether or not they’re a match for you rather than simply using the standard issue headshot and “witty” descriptions of themselves.

2.) Get out there and live. And I don’t just mean taking up residence at your local pub. To find someone who has similar interests and passions, chance are you have a better chance of meeting that person if you are out there participating in those interests. Meetup.com, classes, sports team, speakers, conferences, book readings, art exhibits. In New York City there is no excuse for boredom. At every moment there is something cool happening. Pick your interests, open up your Google search window, and away you go!

3.) Is speed dating your thing? A few years ago this was a very popular trend. I think it’s died down as of late but there is a company, SpeedNY, that I recently found thanks to Bloomspot.com that takes a British twist on speed dating. Fun, classy, and with free makeovers to boot, it’s worth a go just to get yourself out there and practice your flirting.

4.) Tell everyone you know that you’re looking. It’s true for a job search and it’s true for a mate search, too. You never know where an introduction may lead, and if someone else matches you, they have some seal of approval by someone who knows you well. Sometimes it helps to hand our romantic fate to someone else, and just take up the adventure of a blind date.

5.) Don’t give up, unless you really want to. I have a lot of friends who are so frustrated with dating that they’ve just thrown in the towel. If you really are happy alone, then all the power to you. I think that’s awesome that you are clear on that and have shrugged off the pressure to be coupled off. Some of the happiest people I know are in fact people who consciously decided that a romantic partner is not something that’s very high on their priority list. But here’s the thing – that was a willful decision. They didn’t stop looking because they were annoyed or depressed by the search. They gave up because they didn’t want the end goal of a romantic partner. If you really want a romantic partner, then keep looking. There will times of discouragement. All journeys have that, no matter where they’re heading. Life’s a treasure hunt, and so is the quest for love. It’s a game so enjoy yourself.

What are your top suggestions for how to find more love in 2011? And if you do have a valentine, just how did you meet? Share the love story!

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