dreams, hope

Beginning: What We Have and Hope For

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“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ~ Epicurus

My sister, Weez, posted this quote on her Facebook wall a few weeks ago, and it just happened to be one of those days when I was working on my personal finances, looking at how to chip away at my student debt more quickly. It was one of those moments when I felt particularly poor, which is truly ridiculous since financially I am more than on solid ground. Though no matter how much we have, those moments of not having enough sneak up on us when we least expect them.

This quote had me take a look around my adorable apartment, at my equally adorable dog, and remember just how much wealth I have in family, friends, and projects. I’m so wealthy in these respects that my life can barely hold all of them. I am insanely blessed.

I remember being an undergraduate at Penn, when I truly was poor, putting myself through school with several jobs and a heavy course load. I didn’t want to be rich. I just wanted to have enough to not worry, to not live hand to mouth all the time. It took a lot of faith to keep traveling that road. There really wasn’t a way for me to hop off or turn around. I had committed to this education and I had to see it through, despite the debt (which I now realize is quite minimal in the grand scheme of things thanks to Penn’s incredible financial aid policies.) Education was the only way I could see to build a more comfortable, fearless life. So I trudged along through college, mostly uncomfortable and very scared.

If someone had told me then that I’d have the life I have now, be the person I am now, I wouldn’t have believed them. In the back of my mind I thought this life of so much freedom and independence and possibility would be largely out of reach for me for a very long time. It was only a hope, and not all that long ago. And that memory makes me count my blessings all the more.

What aspects of your life did you once think were only dreams?

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I'd love to know what you think of this post! Please leave a reply and I'll get back to you in a jiffy! ~ CRA

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