Month: December 2010

choices, clarity, meditation, wellness, work, yoga

Step 345: A Meditation to Find Purpose By Following Energy

Christa Avampato

“From the spiritual perspective, all disease is undiscovered purpose.” ~ Nan Lu

I’m wrestling now with purpose. At 34, I thought that piece would be figured out and that I could then turn my attention toward working for that purpose. What I’m learning is that like happiness and balance and peace, purpose seems to be less of a destination and more of a daily trip we’re taking. I’ve been going too small with my idea of purpose. Maybe it isn’t a certain career or activity or population I’d like to help but a broader, less specific concept. “Make ’em laugh” sounds like a worthy purpose. “Inspire storytelling” would be another. Maybe that’s a better, more achievable direction for purpose – a flexible structure.

This week I talked to Brian about my continued quest for purpose. “What am I supposed to be doing?” I asked him. And in his very-Brian way, he took me toward point B so I could learn something that would help me get myself to point A. He helped me frame up my own question by asking me to focus on a friend of mine who is going through the same cycle I am to find his own purpose. It was amazing that when I thought about the advice I’d give my friend, I found my own answers, too. “You have to follow the work that gives you energy and ditch the activities that drain you. Your body already knows how your heart should spend its time.”

Sometimes we think about the body as this very superficial structure that is merely meant to house the spirit, maybe because the body won’t last forever and we are really hoping that the spirit will. The greatest lesson that yoga has taught me is that the two work together. The body is so much wiser than we give it credit for. It knows what it needs. When we are doing an activity we aren’t meant to do, our body will grow tired no matter how much sleep we’ve gotten. When we are on the right path, the body moves with ease. If we follow our energy, will it lead us to our purpose?

Meditation technique to find purpose
Take a comfortable seat. Deep gorgeous inhales. Deep calming exhales. Scan the body and wherever you feel tightness or pain, focus the breath there, one area at a time, until those muscles relax. And then once you’ve focused the breath on each stressed area of the body, allow your lips to take the faintest smile, maybe just turning up the corners of your mouth slightly. Focus only on what it feels like to have your entire body relaxed. After a few minutes, gently open the eyes and take that feeling with you out into the world.

Focus on finding activities that allow the body to feel as relaxed as they do in meditation, even when we’re in motion. Those activities, I believe, will lead us to our purpose, one day at a time. I’m going to give it a shot. Will you join me and let me know how it goes? I promise to do the same.

The image above is from thebuddhagarden.com

adventure, failure, journey, travel

Step 344: Finding, Losing, and Finding Again

Christa Avampato

“Balance is not something you achieve and hold on to. It’s more ephemeral; it’s a string of temporary successes, held momentarily, lost, and then discovered again…it’s not permanent. When you lose it, you just have to have faith that you’ll come back to it.” ~ Carmel Wroth, Associate Editor for Yoga Journal

“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process.” ~ President John F. Kennedy

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” ~ Margaret Lee Runbeck, Time For Each Other

“Better to have lost at love than never to have loved at all.” ~ Poison

Well there’s a crew that you’ve likely never seen in a blog post before. All week I kept seeing a pattern of encouraging words about finding exactly what it is that we want, losing it, and heading out to find it again. Clear messages of impermanence coupled with the pep talk of “keep going.”

When we lose we think about giving up. We regret the effort and time and heart that our now-gone adventures required. The apparent waste lies heavy on our hearts because what we had, and loved, didn’t last. We’ve equated losing to mourning.

So let’s turn our losing on its head. When we lose our way, let’s think about the excitement of the search ahead and the joy we’ll feel again when we find our new path. If we find ourselves off-balance, let’s close our eyes, breath, and begin to balance again. Can we find just as much happiness in the search as we do in the find? Can we always make our way back to peace no matter how much anger we may feel? And when we separate from a long-time love, can we look forward to falling in love again?

It’s a tall order. Losing and then continuing to try takes a lot of heart and courage. Failure is a worthy opponent, but I will always believe that every failure is something we can rise above and be better for tomorrow. Don’t beat yourself up for losing. From time to time we’re all going to find ourselves there. What really matters is if you can stay in the game with an open mind and an open heart. Be a seeker.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

adventure, celebration, friendship, philanthropy, women, writer

Step 343: Celebrate What You Want More Of

Christa Avampato

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” – Tom Peters

I went to a set of focus groups this week that reaffirmed my belief that most of the time focus groups are useless. I left the event rattling off a million complaints about the session. Mentally complaining about the session was ruining my mood.

On the way to work the next morning, I was flipping through my emails and saw the quote above from Tom Peters. I love Tom Peters because he strikes the perfect balance between optimism and criticism. He doesn’t see everything through rose-colored glasses but he also refuses to say that “this is the way it is because this is the way it’s always been.” He thinks differently. He evolves.

Criticism is easy, which is why almost everyone has the ability to be critical. What’s unique is when someone is critical and wants to be helpful, when someone wants to shine a light on things she loves and cast a shadow on things that she wishes would slunk away. Reward only good behaviors and in time they will prevail over the bad ones – very similar to the training I do with my pup, Phin.

To kick off some celebrating today, I wanted to tell you about my friend, Sharni, and her incredible efforts to support Afghan Women’s Writing Project (AWW). Sharni is a friend I met on Owning Pink and then have gotten to know through an exchange of our blog writing, tweeting, and Facebooking. I think of her as my blogging sister down under and although she makes her home in Australia and I make my home in New York, our brainwaves seem to meet up all the time.

Have a look at the video she created for the Afghan Women Writers project: http://www.sharnanigans.com/2010/12/this-is-a-call/. It’s inspiring. She’s running a 5K to raise money and awareness for AWW. We need more people like Sharni who passionately care about our global community and use their own personal resources to create the change they want to see in the world. Cheers to Sharni, her efforts, and all of the women who will benefit from her work!

happiness

Step 342: 6 Things That Make Me Happy

Christa Avampato

Happiness is one of the most sought-after possessions in the world. It’s a process, an ebb and flow. Sometimes it’s elusive and other times it’s present in great abundance. Science has recently taken an increased interest in happiness recently, releasing a number of studies on how to attain it and how to keep it.

I came across an article in Yes Magazine that details 10 things we can do to improve our own personal happiness. It’s a very short read and completely worthwhile. It also got me thinking about the 10 things that make me happy in my day-to-day. In no particular order:

1.) My dog, Phineas. The other day I got home from grocery shopping and ran into one of my neighbors. We chatted for a bit, and Phineas heard us so I opened the door and let him run around the hallway a bit. He ran right up to my neighbor with his characteristic joy as if he hadn’t seen her in years. She turned to me and said, “With that to come home to, how could your day ever really be that bad?” She’s right. He makes my day-to-day life so joyful.

2.) My network. I’ve got great friends and a great family. My relationships are, and always will be, my most valuable asset. They’re priceless.

3.) Time. I’m very lucky that most of the time my working hours are very manageable and allow for lots of free time to pursue my own projects. My yoga and writing are possible because I have a well-paying, mostly 40-hour / week job.

4.) A quiet home. Many years ago, I lived in Washington Heights in a much larger and less expensive apartment than I live in now. And while I loved the culture of my neighborhood, it was so loud that for a year I barely slept. It was an exhausting existence. Now I have a peaceful home. It’s small but it’s enough. My own little place where I can go to get away from it all. And I’m so grateful for it every morning when I wake up, rested.

5.) The freedom and resources to learn. Sadly there are so many areas of the world where people are not free to be curious and industrious. Too many people now, even in this country, don’t have the means to get the best education. I was lucky to go to college during a time when federal aid was readily available and fairly affordable. My education made the life I have now possible. It’s an amazing gift.

6.) New York, NY. Let people say what they want. This is the greatest city in the world. It’s a fascinating, bubbling place of diversity. The whole world really is here, just a few steps outside my door every day. You really can be anything you want to be in this city. No matter what pack you wish to join, it’s here. Or feel free to just go it alone, too. This city has freedom in abundance. It’s a place for people who want to build their own road, by their own design.

What keeps you smiling?

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

food, friendship, happiness, writer

Step 341: The Simple Joy of Ramen

Christa Avampato

My friend, Michael, took me to Minca, a ramen restaurant on Friday night. Like so many wonderful traditions from other countries, we have twisted ramen into a cheap, nutritionless, freeze-dried meal encased in plastic on our grocery store shelves. It is the stuff of college student diets. In Japan and other parts of Asia, ramen is a sacred, beautiful, nutritious ritual. I could hardly believe how incredible I felt eating a piping hot bowl with a good friend. It was good for my soul.

Michael learned about Minca from Rameniac, a blogger who espouses his love for the delicious dish. Michael sent me a few links and closed out his email about it with such an elegant, thoughtful commentary: “Rameniac became so well-known after a few years that he started getting picked up by the LA Times. He works as a web developer by day, but because he can work essentially anywhere there is internet, he makes frequent excursions to Japan and a few other locations known for good noodles to gather field research. With cynicism and sensationalism selling so many books and magazines these days, it’s heartening to find someone who can derive so much joy from a bowl of soup.”

I couldn’t agree more. There’s so much beauty in simplicity. Give Rameniac a read, go grab a bowl, and enjoy!

Pictured above: a delicious bowl of ramen at Minca

adventure, journey, yoga

Step 340: Fear and Taking Action

Christa Avampato

“Action expresses priorities.” ~ Gandhi

I spent a good part of the weekend looking into spaces to rent for my regular yoga classes starting in March. It’s my biggest priority in getting these classes set up – without the right space, there’s no class. I found some that were perfect and too expensive, and others that were priced right but didn’t feel like the right space. A few times this weekend, I got scared. I could feel that tiny painful twinge in my stomach. I hesitated. “Am I really going to do this?” I asked myself.

And then I got an amazing email from a yoga studio in a good location that’s interested in helping me grow the business rather than just renting me space. They found a lot of common ground with me by reviewing my website. I’m hoping to see the space this week. The reviews on-line are glowing. The space is reportedly beautiful and tranquil, and the community is happy and welcoming. By all accounts, it sounds like a hand and glove fit for me. The only thing to do now is to see it with my own eyes and see if I personally feel good in the space.

The act of searching high and low for just the right location feels like a spiritual journey as well as a practical one. It’s a quest to find just the right combination of elements that will foster creativity, awareness, and above all, peace. This is a special part of my life. My students are special and dear to me. I want what’s best for them, and that means finding a space where they practice that helps them feel healthy and whole. If I just focus on that intent, my fear melts and I can take action with great confidence. I’ll keep looking and the right space will come along.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

holiday, peace, stress, tradition

Step 339: Take the Stress Out of Togetherness

Christa Avampato

“Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” ~ Henry Ford

The holiday season brings about a lot of thinking around the importance of togetherness. Why we come together and how much happiness we gain from being part of a community, particularly a community of our own design. Togetherness can bring stress as well especially around the holidays. There’s an old age that goes something like “If you want to test your level of enlightenment, go spend a week with your family.” As much as we like to think that the holidays are nothing but love and light, they can bring tensions, old and new. And then to top it off, we feel guilty about those tensions because we think every family in the world is perfect and content while ours is the one that isn’t.

Over the years, I’ve found that there could be nothing further from the truth. Every family has its own secrets and myths, its rivalries and competitions. No family is perfect. Every family has its complexities and idiosyncracies. If you feel tensions creeping in at all during family or friend gatherings over the next few weeks, here are 3 ways to keep it from getting the best of you and those around you:

1.) Make meals easy. If togetherness is really the important thing to you, forget about all of the fuss. The table and food don’t need to be perfect and special – it just needs to be heartfelt. You don’t need to become an overnight gourmet, or even a cook at all. Focus on being together, not on the table settings. Martha Stewart’s way isn’t the only way to a happy holiday meal.

2.) Ease up on the gifts. The economy is still in very tough shape. Every day there are conflicting job reports, and with every ounce of good economic news, there’s a hefty dose of reality, too. Maybe this is a year to ease up on all of the shopping craziness. I’d be much happier knowing that a donation was made in my name to people who really need help this holiday season. I really don’t need anything – I’m more than fine. I’m much happier with a fun experience than a wrapped box under the tree.

3.) No one ever said the holidays are only about togetherness. Take some time out for you. Make it your gift to yourself to relax and unwind. Take a yoga class, go get a massage, or take a long walk. Enjoy an afternoon at home with a good book and a yummy beverage. A little down time will help you relax into the time you have with others and appreciate that togetherness even more.

What tips have helped you calm holiday stress?

encouragement, frustration, future, goals, growth, passion, patience

Step 338: Rainbows and Rain

Christa Avampato

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” ~ Dolly Parton

When I was in Florida, rainbows were popping up everywhere. It had been a long time since I’d seen a rainbow, and in many ways I felt like the ones I saw in Florida were a sign that I’m going in the right direction. This year is my one year anniversary working with Brian. For a year I’ve been working hard on myself, digging deep into what I’ve come from, where I really am, and where I want to go. In one year, I’ve seen a huge transformation in my life: my confidence has grown, my authenticity has come shining through, and I feel positioned to live my very best life going forward.

The road to self-discovery can be difficult. I had dinner with my friend, Michael, this week and we talked about how much effort and energy it takes to find the work we’re truly meant to do. It’s much easier to take what comes our way, but it’s another thing entirely seek out and fulfill a personal mission. It can feel risky to build our own road rather than travel the one laid out before us, though ultimately a truly fulfilling and extraordinary life is one we live by our own self-designed principles.

There will be a lot of rain that falls as we build our own road, one small brick at a time. The pace of progress, particularly in the beginning, can seem slow and frustrating. I encourage you to please keep going, keep seeking. This world needs the very best of each of us, and we owe it to ourselves in this lifetime to find out what it is we are meant to do. Building strength, courage, and skill takes time, but the rewards we can reap once we have them are invaluable. The rainbow is out there.

The photo above is a picture of a double-Rainbow I took at Disney World last month.

business, community, community service, nonprofit, philanthropy

Step 337: Get Involved with Taproot Foundation

Christa Avampato

Today I went to an orientation for new Taproot Foundation consultants. Taproot Foundation matches professionals with nonprofit organizations to create functional and sustainable products, services, and programs in human resources, strategy, marketing and technology. Taproot consultants donate 100 hours of their time over 6 months, an equivalent of $12,000 of services per consultant. To-date Taproot consultants have completed over 1,300 projects in 5 major markets across the country.

What impresses me most about Taproot is their commitment to create meaning, structured work in which effort and talent is so respected. They are filling the gap between professionals who want to help in tangible high-impact ways and nonprofits who want the expertise outside professionals can bring to their missions and stakeholders. They are professionals of the highest order and expect the same from all of their partners. To keep pace with all the requests they receive from vetted nonprofits, they need to add 250 consultants every quarter. Here are 3 more reasons to get involved:

1.) Have a positive impact on your community. Taproot consultants work with nonprofits based in the cities where they live so their work directly affects their communities.

2.) Explore new career paths. Many professionals have aspirations of making a professional move into the nonprofit sector. Doing a pro-bono consulting project can help provide professionals with a clearer picture of what a career with a nonprofit can look like.

3.) Networking. Taproot has created an active online community and provides consultants with the opportunity to work in close-knit teams toward a common goal with very reputable, vetted organizations. It’s an opportunity to meet passionate, talented people who care about making this world a better place.

Apply here.

routine, time, to-do lists, work

Step 336: Balance Over Time

Christa Avampato

In business school a friend of mine famously said, “I think you can have it all, you just can’t have it all, all the time.” We beat the heck out of ourselves when it comes to work life balance. We make ourselves crazy by wanting balance every day, at every moment, and if we can’t get ourselves there we assume there’s something wrong with us, that we are somehow inept. The General Counsel of my company talked at a recent lunch about the idea of attaining balance over time, not balance all the time.

Some days, some week are just going to be packed to the gills. That’s life. Projects ramp up, the holidays come around, guests are in town. Certain times in our lives can just be crazy. Crazy fun or crazy not-so-fun. If that crazy happens over a long, sustained period of time, then yes, we do have a problem that we need to quickly remedy. But just because life is not as balance as we’d like it to be for a few days doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It just means we’ve got active lives.

This idea calmed me down, and it was a message I needed this week. Work has consumed more of my time than it usually does and I was cursing it a bit. Reflecting on the idea of balance over time reminded me to be grateful. I’m ridiculously lucky to have a job that interesting most of the time, that pays well, and doesn’t consume much of my time after 5:30. This week I’ve had a few late nights. I’m getting some new projects up on their feet and it’s taking more time than the typical 9-5 day allows. Thanks to the idea of balance over time, I took the extra time crunch in stride. And when the lull hits, which will inevitably happen, I’ll remember to offer my thanks for peace and quiet.