“When we complain we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new.” ~ Daily OM
We all complain. You can be the sunniest, most happy-go-lucky type of person, and every once in a while even you will utter a complaint. And you should. Whenever someone is always upbeat, never sad or angry, and never complains, I am immediately suspicious. Pent up anger and frustration is harmful. If you don’t let it out, your body is going to find a way to internalize it. And that can only mean a lot of trouble down the line.
There’s a balance that needs to be struck when it comes to complaining. It has to go somewhere; it has to be of value; it has to lead to a better way forward. I’m all for any and every complaint that accomplishes that. Here are 5 ways to make that happen:
1.) Find a trusted, creative, honest sounding board
This is the first step to a good complaint. We all need someone who can listen to us and help us find our way. The finding our way part is the one that’s tricky. Honest sounding boards, ones who can see us through our complaints, don’t always tell us what we want to hear, but they do tell us what we need to hear. Those are two very different things. A friend or relative who can be both supportive and honest is critical to helping us turn our complaints into assets.
2.) Work it out, literally
I spend a lot of time working out my complaints when I walk Phineas. My yoga practice helps, too. Any kind of activity that stretches your body helps to stretch your mind to imagine new solutions and options – exactly what we need to turn our complaints into actions.
3.) Get quiet
Once we air our complaints, we need to spend some time actively forgetting them. When we twist something over and over in our minds, it becomes difficult to see our way past it. If we can get quiet and look past it, it’s easier for a solution to bubble up. I have a meditation practice that helps me separate myself from my complaints and worries. Getting quiet doesn’t have to be a complicated practice. For 5 minutes every day, close your eyes, sit in a comfortable position, inhale for 4 counts, and exhale for 4 counts. It’s amazing how much creativity shows up when we just remind ourselves to breath.
4.) Find others who share your frustration
I’m not suggesting that you find other people with the same frustration you have so that you can all sit around and wallow. If we can find people who share our concerns, then we can support one another by finding a way to solve the source of the complaint. We’ll also be able to see the source of the complaint from different angles, a key necessity for improving the situation. In the case of resolving complaints, two heads are better than one.
5.) Write it down
Writing out complaints is another way to get them out without saying or doing something we’ll later wish we could take back. I write about frustrations on this blog, but most of my complaints are confined to a little green notebook I have. It holds my pro con lists, my decision tress, and my brainstorms. Most of the material is throw-away, but just the act of writing out my problems really does make them feel less daunting.
What did I miss? What methods help you deal with complaints and frustrations?
Published by Christa Avampato
IN BRIEF
Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership).
I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place.
THE DEEP DIVE
My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them.
DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP
At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions.
ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP
As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild.
LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING
As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA
Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history:
Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions.
Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design.
Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history.
CONNECT
Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com
Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/
Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc
Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/
View all posts by Christa Avampato
“When we complain we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new.” ~ Daily OM
