Art makes a home. For several months, I’ve had my art framed tucked away against one wall of my apartment, wrapped meticulously in brown paper. I made every excuse not to hang it: I need a hammer; I need a picture hanging kit; I don’t have time; I don’t know where I want the pieces to go. This is the same art that I had in my apartment building that caught fire. Thankfully the pieces I really cared about survived; the frames did not. I tried to hang up these re-framed pieces several times back in January. I would get out the ladder, climb up to the top, and tear up. I just couldn’t get myself to make this apartment a home.
And then today, something shifted. Last night I went out with friends of mine to Apotheke, a bar I used to love that I went to with a guy I used to date. It was a truly horrible experience. It’s become yet another stuck-on-itself nightspot in NYC with a jerk working the door, donning a too-big ego, a fake British accent, and a cheap Blackberry that he checks incessantly. I was so disgusted and upset about the evening that it made me reconsider New York altogether. Was this a sign that nothing is the same here anymore? That I just don’t belong anymore? Maybe I’ve outgrown NYC, or maybe its outgrown me. Maybe I just don’t fit here anymore. Maybe 3 years has been enough time, and now I better get on to the next place.
I woke up this morning, looked at that art in brown paper, and realized why I’ve felt a little out-of-place in my life for the past few weeks. I’ve got this great shell of a life and I fill it up and empty it out, fill it up and empty it out. What if rather than running, I just painted the walls? What if I finally got out the art, hung it up (all excuses aside), and just began to really only take into my life the people, activities, and experiences I truly want. No sense of “I must do”, and only a sense of “this is right for me, today”.
Maybe the path to real liberation begins by climbing the ladder, tear and fears and regrets, and just putting the hammer to the nail. The walls may not be perfect, and they may never be like they were before, but at least they can show us how far we’ve come.
The image above is my favorite piece of art that I own. It’s a hand-painted canvas that I bought from a street artist in Soweto, South Africa in 2007. I am glad it’s back on my walls.
Published by Christa Avampato
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
View all posts by Christa Avampato
Art makes a home. For several months, I’ve had my art framed tucked away against one wall of my apartment, wrapped meticulously in brown paper. I made every excuse not to hang it: I need a hammer; I need a picture hanging kit; I don’t have time; I don’t know where I want the pieces to go. This is the same art that I had in my apartment building that caught fire. Thankfully the pieces I really cared about survived; the frames did not. I tried to hang up these re-framed pieces several times back in January. I would get out the ladder, climb up to the top, and tear up. I just couldn’t get myself to make this apartment a home. 
Christa Avampato 
I hope you’ll take a photo of the art hanging on your wall. Would be great to see how it fits in your space (though, I’d completely understand if that was a little tooo personal).
And I hear you about those cliche NYC bars. Such is city life, I guess.
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I will for sure, Sara! What an excellent idea – I’m going to do that right now. Yes, such IS city life. I think my too-trendy bar days are long-since gone. And I’m thankful for that!
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“Maybe the path to real liberation begins by climbing the ladder, tear and fears and regrets, and just putting the hammer to the nail. The walls may not be perfect, and they may never be like they were before, but at least they can show us how far we’ve come.”
This is beautiful, Christa, and really resonates with me right now, as I get ready to set up “my home in NY, take 2.”
And I love the painting…
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Thanks, Amanda. We can chat it up with Sara on Wednesday over those divine happy hour specials you found! Where is the new home????
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The subtext of not hanging the art (and why you did so today) moved me. Reclaiming your space after a trauma is such an important yet difficult feat. The fact that you turned last night’s disappointment into an opportunity for a personal milestone today is nothing shy of inspiring. Congratulations on a corner turned, a box checked off the perpetual To Do list, a moment seized.
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Thanks, Tre! This is a huge compliment since I know that personal transformation is something that you do so well and so beautifully. If we can’t find opportunity in disappointment, then what would be the point of it all, right?
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Well if it were me I would take it as a sign that sometime within the next 6 months I’d be living in some other place I’d never dreamed of before. That always happens when I get it all together LOL. Fortunately you are not me. But if anyone on the planet is capable of outgrowing NYC it would be you!
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You’re so funny, Trish. These little hints from the universe do keep life interesting. We never know what’s around the corner, do we?
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P.S. LOVE the painting!!!
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Thanks, Trish! I love it, too. I saw it and was immediately drawn to it. The bus I was taking through Soweto almost left me behind but I had to have it.
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