Since my fire in September, I haven’t been able to walk down the street where it occurred. I’ve taken a few steps, and then I quickly cross the street, averting my gaze and avoiding any chance of looking through that door. To look at the building now, you’d never know that a fire happened there. It’s been reconstructed with new brick, repainted, doors and windows replaced. Everything covered over. For me, that street has a smoky covering, an eerie, uncomfortable feeling. Yesterday, I finally needed to stare it in the face.
I got out of the subway and made the turn I’ve been avoiding for almost 8 months. Since it was the Beltane yesterday, a day that celebrates life in all its glory, it felt like an appropriate time to face fear. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I didn’t cry. I didn’t really feel anything until I got right up to the building, and saw to my right a giant statue of Ganesha above a psychic reading place. Ganesha is the Hindu deity who removes obstacles to our spiritual development. On occasion, he will place obstacles in our path for us to deal with so that we grow and evolve. He gives us what we need, even when we don’t know exactly what we need at the time.
In that moment, seeing Ganesha juxtaposed to that building where the fire happened, I realized how much I needed that fire. In the three years that I’ve lived in this neighborhood, I’ve passed that statue many times. I just didn’t know who he was until my yoga teacher training. Now, it has a special significance to me. Now, I understand what I’d been seeing all along. I guess life is like that: we look and we look and we look, and then one day, the clarity that has been staring at us all along finally comes in to focus. I wish it didn’t take us so long to really understand what’s in our line of our vision, but then again, if we understood everything on Day 1, what would we have to look forward to? Here’s to seeing more clearly and facing more fears in the days ahead.
The photo above is of the Ganesha statue next to my old apartment building.
Published by Christa Avampato
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
View all posts by Christa Avampato
Since my fire in September, I haven’t been able to walk down the street where it occurred. I’ve taken a few steps, and then I quickly cross the street, averting my gaze and avoiding any chance of looking through that door. To look at the building now, you’d never know that a fire happened there. It’s been reconstructed with new brick, repainted, doors and windows replaced. Everything covered over. For me, that street has a smoky covering, an eerie, uncomfortable feeling. Yesterday, I finally needed to stare it in the face.
Christa Avampato 
Thanks, Christa. That’s really powerful. I have a lot of fears I’m facing now, while putting on my very stalwart “game face.” I appreciate how scary life can be at times, and yet how we need obstacles to have triumphs and to grow. Thanks for this lesson. You’ve given me an evening of inner peace 🙂
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Amanda, your comment made me break into a huge smile. I am so glad this was helpful. Girl, we are all facing fears, and we’re in it together. Look what you’ve built with DailyWorth, from ZERO!!! It’s truly amazing and I’m so excited every time I hear how well it’s doing. KEEP GOING! And when you get scared, just email me 🙂
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Congratulations on confronting a fear-I know it is a huge milestone! I can’t imagine how scary that fire must have been, but I’m glad you were able to lay it to rest a bit. I’m also a big believer in signs. There are always so many we miss because we aren’t ready to see them.
Good luck to you as well regarding the blogathon! I’m also a blogathoner and wanted to give you a writing-high-five!
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Hi Rachel! Great to meet you through the blogathon. I am so glad my friend, Amanda, posted about it. I’m meeting so many other great writers through it! A writing high-five back to ya!
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Fear plays such an enormous role in preventing our being free, happy people. And confronting that fear is a huge hurdle. What an amazing and freeing feeling.
Congratulations and keep it coming!
Elizabeth
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good job christa. way to go at it head on. ; )
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Thanks, Col! I’m beginning to think that head on is the only way to really face up to challenges in life.
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Hi Christa, Ganesha is one of my favorites. I keep a small staute of him on my desk, and when I’m feeling hemmed in by fears I think about the wisdom of Ganesha. Sometimes I find it helpful to visualize elephants moving through the landscape, stepping over or moving through all obstacles. -Jan
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Jan,
I love that image of an elephant stepping right over obstacles. I’m going to use that in my meditation practice!
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Christa:
Well, no matter how fearful you are, I know that ‘this too shall pass.” Meditation will help you in this case as well.
In the end, it will all work out for you–just you wait and see–and things will go your way. Just hang in there.
Like you, I have also experienced a fire in my home. However, we managed to survive thanks to the timely help of people in the neighborhood.
So, your post resonated with me: it really did.
Stay safe out there. My best wishes, as always. Cheerio!
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Now that’s one thing I wish we didn’t have in common. I am glad you were able to get out of the home and not harmed. Life lessons find us in mysertious way, right?
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