“Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.” ~ A. A. Milne
“Judgment stops thought.” ~ Mr. Dietrich, my 9th grade English teacher
My 9th grade English teacher, Mr. Dietrich, was an odd guy, and at first I thought he was a terrible teacher. He did a module of lessons with us that had nothing to do with English. Because I loved English, I was irritated. I expected to be writing and reading classics. Instead, he taught us life lessons that 20 years later are still top of mind for me.
Instead, we learned about the work of Salvador Dali (he always paints mountains into his works). He told us we should get as far into a novel as we can upon first reading so we get engaged quickly and finish it. He encouraged us to read every time we’re waiting in line (to this day I always have a book with me). I still remember the definition of a quaff because of the funny way he explained it – it’s when you wake up at 1:00am and think you could drink a gallon of water. He challenged us to lie in bed motionless, and see if we could tell where our toes are without looking. (We have no idea where they are until we move them – welcome to the idea of the mind-body connection.)
The most important lesson I learned in that class is that judgment stops thought. So as crazy as I thought he was to teach us these things in English class, they’ve stuck with me all these years and I think about them and action them in my life on a regular basis. My first impression of Mr. Dietrich was wrong – he just may have been the best high school teacher I had. He wasn’t a weed; he was flower. I just needed to get to know him.
I’m a fairly good judge of character, though some times I get it wrong. I trust some people too readily, and don’t trust others enough upon first glance. There are times that these missteps have caused me to miss out on someone really incredible, and there are times when I’ve been deeply hurt by people who turned out to be different than I first imagined them to be. Most of the time, I keep Mr. Dietrich’s advice about judgment close to my heart. His lesson of withholding judgment as long as possible serves us well. It leaves our minds open to different scenarios and possibilities, allowing us more time and evidence to make a sound decision.
Now that I think of it, I owe Mr. Dietrich a card to thank him for showing me that English class was more than just reading the classics and writing essays. He taught me some enormous life lessons that have stuck with me 20 years later, that I’m sure I will be putting to good use for another 20 years into the future. If we can withhold judgment when we glance at the weeds of our lives, I’m confident that many of those weeds will turn to flowers. And maybe a few of those flowers will show their weed-y side sooner rather than later, saving us some heartache down the line. The important thing to remember is that to truly know something or someone we have to give it more than a first glance. Sound judgment requires more than a first impression – it requires a second chance.
Christa Avampato 