happiness, time

Step 85: Choosing Where to Place Our Energy

Christa Avampato

“The only thing that keeps a man going is energy. And what is energy but liking life?” ~ Louis Auchincloss

Today someone whom I volunteer with tried to give away my time. A month ago I had offered to help with an event this person is running and then, unbeknownst to me, she assigned me to run the entire event without asking me if I’d be willing to do that. Even worse, she sent around an email, buried the change in the minutes, and then never said a word about it to me until today when she needed something.

A younger me (and by younger I mean 6 months ago), would have taken on the job, even though I didn’t agree to it, because I would have felt obligated. I would have felt like I needed to take on the event because otherwise I would let this person down, even though this person gave away my time publicly without my consent. Mind you this person is overwhelmed at work (aren’t we all these days?) and the other people on her committee are not engaged (which I think she should take a hard look at and find out why that might be rather than playing the martyr). I am sure she didn’t intend to be sneaky and assign me to a responsibility I didn’t agree to. The trouble is she’s a poor leader, and I have no intention of ever following a poor leader again. I’ve been there thank you, and it’s not fun. Poor leadership sucks the life out of me.

So very professionally I paid tribute to my anger, made it clear that this person could not give away my time, and could not assign me to a responsibility that I didn’t accept, no matter how many smiley faces she puts in an email and no matter how much she complains about her life. I kindly told her that she would have to find someone else to take full responsibility for the event. Offering to help with an event and taking full-responsibility for it are two different things. Rather than feel guilt about this, as I could have in the past, I learned that I can have empathy for her situation without accepting a responsibility that I didn’t sign up for. If I had the time to fully take on the event by myself, I would help her out, but I don’t have the time and her behavior is unacceptable. So I took myself out of the game. She’ll have to look elsewhere for someone who’s willing to tolerate that treatment. The train I’m driving has left the station.

Life is about energy, and we need to seek out people, relationships, and activities that provide us with enjoyment to provide us with that energy. We can’t let others weigh us down. We can feel for them, have empathy for their situations (which most of the time they bring on themselves), and also preserve our own dignity and self-respect. (Now, I’m talking about people who are truly down on their luck and need our help because they actually can’t help themselves. I’m talking about people who make choices and then don’t accept the responsibilities that go along with those choices). It is a human right to enjoy our lives to the fullest, and the moment someone begins to treat us in a way that compromises that right, we can take our energies elsewhere. There are people out there who do appreciate our time and effort, and those are the people who deserve our attention.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

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Published by Christa Avampato

IN BRIEF Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership). I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place. THE DEEP DIVE My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them. DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions. ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild. LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy. DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history: Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions. Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design. Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history. CONNECT Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/ Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/

7 thoughts on “Step 85: Choosing Where to Place Our Energy”

  3. I love this post. I love that you stood up for yourself in a firm but compassionate way. And I absolutely agree that we need to be mindful about where and how we invest our energy. I have become a much happier person by cultivating the relationships and activities that energize me most.

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    1. Thanks, Amanda. Glad to hear your success in this approach! It’s usually a very tough thing for me to say no and walk away. Too often I’ve felt obligated to stick around even when I know I’m wasting my time. I’m working on getting better at this. It’s amazing what a weight we can shrug off our shoulders by standing up for ourselves professional, but firmly, placing our own happiness and well-being at the center of our decisions.

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I'd love to know what you think of this post! Please leave a reply and I'll get back to you in a jiffy! ~ CRA

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