Step 23: Replicating Authenticity

In yesterday’s post I talked about positive deviance, the practice of finding bright spots in a situation, in our lives, and replicating them like mad to create further improvements. And then I promised you a personal revelation for today’s post that demonstrates where and how I’d like to use positive deviance in my own life.

Think of one area of your life that you really love, that’s going so well that you smile every time it pops into your head. What do you love about it? Be very specific on this – get down to the meat of what makes you really happy about this part of your life. Now, how can this exact same paradigm be ported over to other areas of your life?

For me, one area that’s going really well is my writing. I love the design of this new site, the new people it helps me to meet, everything I learn from the research and writing, and its tangible nature. Now for the specifics: I run the site and get to call all of the shots on content and design. Yes, I certainly take and love input, and at the end of the day I physically make all of the updates myself. I get to tell my stories and share what’s happening in my life. It’s the one part of my life where I do exactly what I want, when I want, how I want. It’s the area of my life where I am the most authentic. Brian is going to be thrilled to hear this – this is the exact work we’ve been focusing on for the past few months. I’m going to become an authenticity addict.

Now, what implications does this have for other parts of my life? I’ve been settling. Lots and lots of settling. Settling’s comfortable, it reduces stress, it lowers expectations, and reduces disappointments. It’s also boring and at the end of the day it amounts to almost nothing. And that has to change. More of my life has to be how I want it to be, not just how it is. The other areas of my life have to have as much meaning and authenticity as my writing. I have to accept that this will be difficult, scary terrain. I will have to trust myself more and follow my gut. I will have to lose my grip on comfort in order to seek and find more meaning in the other parts of my life. I will have to jump off the cliff, arms spread wide, and trust that I can fly.

I should be more frightened by this, though if I look back over my life, history is on my side:
1.) I worked very hard as a student so that I could build a better life by getting a quality education. It worked; I have reaped the great rewards of a solid career, financial stability, and the genuine curiosity that an incredible education bears. I wasn’t always sure how I’d afford this education, nor did I know precisely where it would take me. I made it up as I went along, and it all worked out better than fine.

2.) I have been willing to take new jobs, despite a lower salary and less stability, because I followed my heart and did the work I wanted to do. It worked; I’ve always done the work I love and I’ve gotten to achieve many of the things on my childhood dreams list.

One of the very bright spots of my life in the past few years has been my writing because I show up everyday to convey an honest, poignant story. I take off the blinders, drop my guard, and go for broke. In this part of my life I’m not trying to impress anyone, nor am I trying to be any more or any less than me. Every time I just trust myself, my life always works out better than I ever imagined it could be. It’s a bright spot worth replicating.