Disappointment of any kind is difficult. If we have believed in, or loved, or respected, or trusted someone who then does something to betray our belief, love, respect or trust, it is hard to find any bright side to the situation. We may feel like we are bad judges of character, too naive, too trusting.
There is a bright side though. There always is – it often just takes more work and effort and faith to find it when we’re in darkness. What if we never knew what another person was really like, good or bad? What if we never trusted someone enough, never trusted ourselves enough to get close to people and learn what they really stand for, how they really think and feel? It would be a lonely life.
The trade-off for not feeling lonely and being close to others is that on occasion, some of those people, a small minority of them, will fail us. Some people that we think well of will let us down. And some times in a few very rare instances, that connection to that trusted person will be irreparable. This price is worth it though when we look around at all the people we have trusted and loved and can appreciate how full and rich our lives are as a result of those people.
And there is one additional bright side to betrayal as well: it opens the way for us to make room for others who will come into our lives some time down the road. I think of it as clearing out the cobwebs, getting my priorities back in line. We no longer need to invest in someone who disappointed us – we can just let them go.
I was talking this through with my friend, John, who has a less-than-satisfying job. He realized just today that a boss he has been slaving away for has hung him and his team out to dry to the company’s leadership. And what’s worse: his boss is proud of this. I guess he feels more powerful for having done so. John feels terrible though the good thing that he discovered is that he knows who his boss really is now. He had been staying at this company because he felt a sense of obligation to this boss; now he is free from that obligation. It’s a hard truth to face down, though clearly necessary.
My mom has a great saying that she picked up from my grandmother and I am reminded of it every time I hear bad things happen to good people like John. My mom and grandmother say, “God writes straight through crooked lines.” Even if you don’t believe in God, the sentiment holds. Things happen in our world to send us on one course or another. Our lives flex and change. Joy is found when we can smile through that flex and change and be grateful for the the truth, even if that truth is painful. Joy’s not easy though it is always attainable as long as we can find reason and something to learn in every situation.
Published by Christa Avampato
IN BRIEF
Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership).
I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place.
THE DEEP DIVE
My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them.
DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP
At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions.
ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP
As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild.
LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING
As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA
Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history:
Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions.
Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design.
Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history.
CONNECT
Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com
Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/
Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc
Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/
View all posts by Christa Avampato
Christa, this is just the message I needed to hear. I am grappling with a devastating betrayal and the anger and sadness are overwhelming. I know there’s hope, though and that as disappointing as this one friendship turned out to be, others are emerging. Thanks for the positive booster.
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Hi Col! I am so happy that this post helped you – it’s such motivation for me to keep writing!-C
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