I’ve been on the hunt for some new blogs to add to my regular reading. Here are a few of my recent favorite finds.
The Found Gen is “an independent publishing house and story/scripting group that focuses on providing the world with original stories and works from authors who represent the best of what the written word has to offer.” It focuses on bringing great new fiction writing to the attention of the world through the Lost & Found Quarterly. The Found Gen also focuses on reminding us of great fiction writers whom time has forgotten and is filled with valuable information for writers, particularly those interested on self-publishing. Get in on the story and check them out.
The Daily Reader is a Macmillan project piloted by my friend, Amanda Hirsch. The goal of the blog is simple: “to help us discover great reads while connecting the dots between books and current events.” As someone obsessed with the news (I’m one of those people whom they worry about getting current events fatigue when a major news event is underway), this is the perfect blog for me to read right after I finish watching the morning news and have read my daily dose of e-newsletters, alerts, and an online scan of 3-5 newspapers.
I first heard about Ollin Morales of Courage 2 Create on Problogger. His blog offers writing advice as he carves his path to the completion of his first novel. What I found so intriguing about Ollin was his optimism. The old paradigm of brooding writers who are a little bitter with a healthy dose of the dark side doesn’t fit Ollin at all. He started his blog about writing to chronicle is progress and learn about the process and commitment of putting word to page. I love how open and honest he is, sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly, and somehow always finding his way back to the good.
Those are my latest greatest finds. Have any you’d like to share?
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both, and be one traveler long I stood, and looked down one as far as I could…knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back…Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” ~ Robert Frost
While on vacation I started and finished reading the book Hanuman: The Devotion and Power of the Monkey God. Since beginning a deep study of yoga philosophy about a year and a half ago, I have felt very close to Hanuman. A tiny monkey, he is the most loyal servant of Lord Rama. The child’s version of the story of Hanuman is that he leapt across the world to rescue Sita, Lord Rama’s wife, when she was captured by the enemy during a long and brutal war. The truth is a bit more complicated, as truths tend to be.
In incredible detail, the book elaborates on the story of Hanuman, his dual-characteristics of great devotion and great might, his ability to be a fierce warrior and to lay in wait when that is what’s needed, and his dark and light sides. I had envisioned him as an adorable and adoring little monkey. He is so much more.
I won’t spoil the story for you – you should read the beautiful prose that author Vanamali lays out in exquisite detail. What I do want to share in this post is a role that Hanuman plays that i never knew before reading this book. He is the protector of the crossroads, those places in-between in our lives, the transitions. Ironic (or perhaps just synchronous) that I would learn this now when I feel that I am at such a huge junction in both my personal and professional lives, as I craft a living and a life with Compass Yoga.
In my daily meditations for the past few months, I have felt change arriving slowly, like a light slowly rising, like a clearer vision coming into focus that honors my experience and celebrates my potential offering to humanity. While I am crafting an extraordinary life, I am fully aware that I am also lovingly building a legacy. This is my soul’s work.
In my meditations I have heard a faint and distant voice conveying what I know is very important, though I cannot yet decipher its exact words. I think maybe it has been Hanuman unrolling the map of the decisions I must make, laying out the carpet that takes two directions of which I must choose one.
Joseph Campbell is famous for elucidating the hero’s journey, a choice between two roads that is never easy. Both roads contain trade-offs, good and bad experiences, joy and sorrow, pain and freedom, light and dark. Our goal is not to choose the “right” road, but to choose the “right road for us”. I am at the crossroads, but Hanuman is here with me and so I don’t have to be alone or afraid in my choosing. He will protect and defend while I decide. He will do the same for you, too, and you should take great comfort in that. A bit of help makes the choosing easier, right?
I saw this image yesterday when I went searching for information on the image I posted yesterday about how to live your life by your own design. This poem by Frank Outlaw reminded me of this quote from Dr. Lu, a doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Who we become begins with our thoughts on our purpose. You can think the life you want into being. Frank Outlaw just handed us a map of 31 words.
As a writer, the second step of the journey – turning thoughts into words – is where I spend a considerable amount of time. Our words are the first pathways to our personal transformation. As a yoga teacher and yoga therapist, I help students find their own words by working through their own barriers in the body. Our past challenges, mental and physical, store physically in different parts of the body. Through yoga, we can remove the blocks in our bodies that then allow us to articulate our stories.
Once we can articulate our stories, we begin to heal and we become the rulers of our thoughts rather than our thoughts ruling us. It’s this combination of writing and yoga that is so powerful for me as a student and as a teacher. This is where it all comes together. I’m not here to impart any wisdom; I’m here to guide others to their own wisdom that they already have within them.
We run from the imperfect. We want everything to be flawless. We praise beauty; we seek it out; we convince ourselves that we can’t live without it. Ruin is something we have come to dread. To feel ruined it to feel busted up, disappointed, and taken advantage of. We desperately cling to the perfect – in ourselves, in others, in a moment of time. We try to rush through ruin as quickly as possible, and with closed eyes. By running from ruin we are missing so many opportunities for growth and personal evolution.
Dancing with our disappointment
I know this dance well. I have been running from ruin and toward perfection for many, many years. Brian calls this my intricate skill of “maximize this, minimize that.” In other words, I make the most of the good things and try very hard to ignore the bad things, hoping that those bad things will just magically go away. For the record, they don’t. They accumulate until their collective voice is so loud that they must be reckoned with in one way or another.
We can learn a lot from sadness if we’re willing to sit with it
I received a lot of positive feedback from my last two posts – the first about how my dad taught me that the only advice we can take is our own and the second about how a chance encounter with an ex taught me about feeling and transcending anger. So much so, that I’ve decided to take my writing in a very personal direction. I’m at a point in my story where some previously disjointed pieces are starting to fit together in a very powerful way. Steve Jobs said that, “We can’t expect to understand our lives living forward, but only by looking back.” That’s why reflection is so important, why writing it all down and sharing it is critical to our own understanding. All burdens can be borne if we can put them into a story.
Some of the pieces of my story are jagged and uncomfortable and some of them are smoothly crafted. Somehow, they’re all finding a way to come together and co-exist side-by-side, not stealing the limelight from one another, but sharing in it equally. It’s quite a surprise, even though I’ve been working on this very hope for such a long time. I never thought I’d realize it, and certainly not so early on in my life. And while this surprise is of tremendous benefit to me, I want it to benefit you, too, because I want you to have the same experience of holding up a mirror to the parts of you, of others, and of your experience to see that the good, the bad, and the ugly are all extraordinary teachers.
For a long time I vilified my dad, and many of those reasons were justifiable. What I shunned for too long were all of the lessons he taught me, albeit in a manner that I would never wish on anyone else. He was a cold, austere, sad man, and my family bore the brunt of that for a long time. What I didn’t know as a teenager, what there was no way for me to know, was that his behaviors and his personal history that caused those behaviors, would give me the tools I need to do the work I was meant to do with Compass Yoga.
This is about honoring our whole self, not about making lemonade
And this is not some pathetic attempt by a hopeful gal to make lemonade out of lemons, to make the most of what she’s got even if that isn’t much at all. It’s about honoring every part of our past; it’s about recognizing that in every moment, in every experience, there is a very deliberate, necessary teaching that sets us up to live our dharma, our path. We need the painful, sad parts of our past just as much as we need the joy and light. And I would argue that we need them in equal measure. The poetic Dolly Parton is famous for saying, “The way I see it, if you want rainbows then you gotta put up with the rain.” Truer words were never spoken.
So here in my promise to you: you will learn about my own personal story, layer by layer, piece by piece, even the ugly parts. Especially the ugly parts. It will be revealed in as thoughtful and sacred a manner as I can muster, and you will eventually see the complete picture. None of it will be gratuitous and all of it is intended so that you can benefit from these two learnings:
1.) where and what we come from has every bit to do with who we eventually become
and even more importantly,
2.) the depth of our roots does not determine the spread of our wings. We can fly as high as we choose to fly regardless of how far down we find ourselves at any point in time. It’s all based on our will to find our way. And I intend to find mine.
“You are entitled to your actions, not the results of your actions. You leave the results to the Divine.” ~ Marco Rojas, Yoga Teacher
I went to dinner with my friend, Allan, on Saturday night and he asked me how I managed to teach yoga classes in so many different places this past year since I finished my teacher training at Sonic. Without even thinking about the answer, I said, “Because I cannot be deterred, Allan.” And it’s true. If I really want to do something, I’m going to find a way to make it happen.
Lessons from striking out
This is not to say that I never strike out or fall flat on my face. I strike out plenty, and I’ve fallen on my face so many times that it’s shocking I have a face left at all. The truth is in the past year I’ve sent out so many emails, made so many cold calls, and just flat-out walked in to so many potential teaching spots that I’ve lost count. Most of them never returned my calls, emails, or in-person messages that I left. Most of them didn’t hire me. Sometimes I felt disappointed at all of the rejection, but I just kept showing up. Showing up was the only thing I could really control. And every rejection helped me refine my pitch, and my style, a little bit more.
And that’s the trick to getting over and through disappointment: figure out what you can actually do, and focus on doing more of it. I couldn’t make someone hire me. I couldn’t make someone even look at my resume or give me an informational interview. I could keep searching, and I felt confident that if I knocked on enough doors, one of them, the right one for me, would open, and I’d find the students I was meant to teach.
Ignore the skeptics, or at least learn from them
Everyone will tell you that what you want to do is too difficult, that there are already people who do what you want to do, and that you should just try to do something that’s easier. I’ve got news for them: it’s all difficult. Everything worth doing takes effort, and a lot of it. I wanted to manage Broadway shows. I wanted to learn how to be a fundraiser. I wanted to be a product developer who works with new technology. I wanted to move to New York City, and I really wanted to live on the Upper West Side, which always was my favorite neighborhood in New York (and remains so today). I wanted to adopt a dog. I wanted to travel, teach yoga, and be a writer. None of that is easy; it all takes effort and a lot of people told me that each and every one of those things just wouldn’t happen for me for one reason or another. I took their feedback and kept going.
I did all of those things and then some, and not because I have some kind of extraordinary talent. I did them out of dogged determination. I was stubborn and I just wouldn’t give up. If I could stay focused on the action, then I knew the result would follow. Sometimes it took longer than I thought it would. Sometimes I got what I wanted, and then realized it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. Sometimes I had to make trade-offs. But I tried and tried and tried again. No silver bullet. No magic formula. Hard work was enough; it always is. Eventually, even a mountain yields to constant, flowing water.
“Capable people carry two brushes.” ~ Chinese Proverb
My friend, Allan, recently asked me to review an email he was sending off to an alumni contact regarding his job search. Allan had a lot of wonderful content in the email and I just brushed up the grammar and phrasing a bit. Allan’s response: “Brush is important. In Chinese, we call capable people someone with two brushes.” I’m guessing that this proverb must come from Chinese art in relation to calligraphy or oil painting. I love the elegance and power that it packs in a few simple words. All of Allan’s communications are like that – he is a product of his culture.
Work ethic
Allan is job searching after recently completing his second masters degree. I think of myself as productive, though his diligence and work ethic put mine to shame. I’ve never seen someone be able to sit and study for such a long stretch of time. He literally boggles my mind. I’m certain he is someone who always carries two brushes, and perhaps a third, just to be on the safe side.
Beijing to Charlottesville
Allan landed in scenic Charlottesville, VA directly from Beijing, China in 2005 when he started business school with me at the Darden School at the University of Virginia. He’d been to the U.S. for a few days once before (Chicago, if memory serves), and beyond that had never lived in an English-speaking country. His bravery to leave behind everything he knew to pursue his education and career aspirations (in a foreign language, which he speaks better than many Americans I know!) is a constant reminder to me of the power and magic that is born from commitment. We were in the same section at Darden so he was one of the very first people I met in Charlottesville. We were fast friends and remain so 6 years later despite hectic careers and lives.
How I started writing every day
I’ve actually never given Allan the full credit he deserves in my writing life. 3 years ago we went to dinner and Allan pulled out a copy of an excel chart that he had created that tracked the productivity of my writing on this blog as a percentage. During my first year of blogging, I posted often but not every day. Allan was really excited to see my productivity consistently around 90%; I was not. If I could be at 90%, then why couldn’t I be at 100%? Seeing those numbers in black and white spurred me to commit to writing and publishing every day for a year, just to see if I could do it. I’ve been writing every day for the past 3 years and now I couldn’t imagine not writing every day.
Embracing commitment
This was a poignant example in my own life of the power and magic of commitment. Practice made me a stronger, more confident writer. I used to think of being committed as being tied down, as being unable to change and grow. I was worried that if I committed, I’d regret the choices I made and then be trapped with a life I didn’t want. Now, I realize just how freeing and joyful thoughtful commitment can be.
Once I saw how much I gained from being a committed writer, I started to make other commitments in my life that have yielded amazing transformations. I committed to my yoga practice, which led to the creation of Compass Yoga. My relationships became more profound. New York City became my home. I adopted my rescue pup, Phineas. All of these changes gave me more happiness and they all found their roots in commitment. Doubling down on what mattered and letting go of what didn’t serve brought so much joy to my life that my only regret is that I didn’t learn this lesson sooner. It took me a long time to be ready for this truth: the right commitment breeds happiness.
I guess it is really true that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. My thanks to Allan and to commitment itself for serving as 2 of my greatest teachers.
“There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.” ~ Robert Byrne
I try to always be a part of the former group that Mr. Byrne details in his quote above. The idea of a project half-done, or worse yet done but not to the best of my ability, makes my stomach turn. I can’t leave things is a state of potential. I like completing things – it’s in my Piscean nature. Because we are the last sign of the zodiac we like endings, preferably happy ones. To compound matters, under the Chinese Zodiac I’m a Fire Dragon. Look out world. I’m here to get things done!
Which brings me to a somewhat troubling and confusing matter in my writing. For about 6 months I’ve had an idea for a book that uses the tenants of a strong yoga practice as the tenants for building a solid personal finance plan. I’m making some progress. Outline’s done and the structure is pretty solid. The first 4 chapters are in very rough written form, and I’ve started on chapter 5. Arguably, these 4 chapters were the hardest to write. Still, I’m not happy with this progress. I wanted to be further along by now. Heck, I wanted to be done by now. And not just because I like to finish projects, but also because this book is really needed, can help a lot of people, and fills a tough-to-fill niche.
So what’s the problem? My multi-tasking nature is getting the best of me, despite my very best attempts at being a recovering multi-tasker. Here’s where the rubber meets the road, where my curious nature gets the best of me. I meditate. I do yoga. And still I’m a little afraid of writing this book because I don’t want it to be less than really awesome. The subject, and the people I’m writing the book for, deserve awesome. And awesome is a tall order.
Of course, I absolutely refuse to stay in this state. I refuse to be my own writing enemy, my own personified version of writer’s block. My perfectionist tendencies are really going to have to find some other place to hang out for a while. I’m taking myself on vacation. A writing vacation.
So what is a writing vacation? I’m going to spend an entire luxurious vacation with the main focus being writing and nothing else. Truth be told, I’m going to do a few other things. I’m going to take some yoga classes, meditate, walk Phin, and eat delicious food, all in an attempt to funnel my creative mind into this book. Other than that, I’ll be in front of my Mac typing away. I’m going to get this rough draft, a full rough draft, completed by Labor Day. No excuses. And you can hold me to that. Actually, I absolutely want you to hold me to that. This self-imposed deadline is just the motivation I need to get my perfectionism to take a break. I’m just going to write until it’s done.
Today I have a guest post on Kris Carr’s incredible blog CrazySexyLife.com. A series of fortunate events this year led to this post as I’ve been exploring ways that yoga and meditation can create a better world for all of us.
My mission this year has been to get yoga and meditation to more people, more often, and regardless of financial means, in the hopes that we can build toward a tipping point of greater peace, happiness, and freedom. Every corner of the world seems to be facing incredible challenges, and to turn the tide toward a brighter furture, the world needs all of us at our very best.
Check out the post here to learn how I think yoga and meditation can help us reach that goal.
http://nscblog.com“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” ~ George Sheehan
I read this quote earlier in the week on a daily email I receive from Tiny Buddha. MJ, one of the wonderful readers of this blog, recommended it to me a few months ago and I’ve been reading it daily ever since. In line with my year of writing about new beginnings, the ideas that it raises really resonate with people who are always in the process of becoming.
George Sheehan’s quote hit a cord with me today as I wrestle with a possible career / life transition that allows me to combine my love of health and wellness with my equal love for technology and writing. For the past few months, I really thought I could make my money through one avenue and have my other personal passions live in my post-work hours. After SXSW and IHS, I’m recognizing that this dual-life takes much more energy than its worth. And since I can’t let go of any of these passions, they’re all too near and dear to my heart, I have to do some personal R&D. I need to find a way to fuse them together to create a happy and financially stable life for myself.
I’m aware that this is a tall order, and if I could get away with less believe me, I would do it. But I can’t. I have to become who I am meant to be. Anything less would just be a huge disservice to all of the people who have given me so much for so long. My family, my friends, my mentors, my teachers. There’s so much that the world needs and to make the most use of my time, I need to bring to bear everything that I have.
You do, too. A lot of us spend a lot of time being less. Now, I’m talking about running ourselves ragged for the sake of doing more, more, more. I’m talking about taking a look at what really makes our hearts sing, what really makes us come alive, and finding a way to do those things more of the time. Yes, we are still occasionally going to have to make choices that are less than ideal, though if they serve a long-term higher goal of getting as much happiness as possible in this lifetime, then we just need to recognize these less optimal stop-overs as exactly that – incremental steps to fully becoming the people we’re meant to be.
At SXSW, I had the great good fortune to meet Michelle Ward, a.k.a. The When I Grow Up Coach, through my wonderful friend, Amanda. A few weeks ago, Michelle sent out a tweet about decision-making, encouraging all of us to go for the choices that make us say, “Hell yes!” Now, isn’t that just about the best decision-making tool you could imagine. So elegant. Option A makes you say, “Eh, maybe” and Option B makes you say, “Hell, yes!” End of contemplation. For people like me who have a tree diagram for every decision they make as well as pro con lists out the wazoo, this little test is a life-saver. I’ve already used it a dozen times and reduced my stress considerably as a result.
Michelle’s test is a sure way to get to exactly the successful state that George Sheehan describes in his quote. Our courage, determination, and will become so much stronger, and honestly easier to have, when we have “Hell yes” on our side. Give it a go and let me know how it turns out!
I’ve been following the site Jane Nation and its associated Twitter feed for a few months. I found Jane through a Google search for a project I’m conducting at work. I was looking around for online communities that focus on women at various life stages, and Jane surfaced high on the ladder of my search.
A few weeks ago, I sent Lisa Beatty, the mastermind behind Jane, a note to see if I could guest blog for the site. Lisa was so encouraging of my writing and this blog that she made me an even better offer. She wanted to know if I would syndicate my content from this blog onto Jane Nation in the various Sisterhoods (lifestyle groups) that comprise the site. My answer was an enthusiastic “yes” followed by an equally-enthusiastic “thank you”. And so, our partnership and mutual adoration began.
My thanks to Lisa and her Jane-In-Crime, Karen Moran, for making this opportunity possible. Going forward, you can find a lot of this blog’s content in the following Sisterhoods on Jane Nation: Flying Solo (for the single ladies), Reclaiming Your Health, Reinventing At Any Age, and Passion Pursuer. I hope you’ll join the 2,500+ women who comprise Jane Nation – welcome to the sisterhood!
I’ve been on the hunt for some new blogs to add to my regular reading. Here are a few of my recent favorite finds.
Christa Avampato 