Category: time

death, dogs, time

Beautiful: Time is Not Ours to Hold – Another Lesson from My Pup, Phineas

Christa Avampato
Phin thinking up ways to live forever
Phin thinking up ways to live forever

I know we can’t hang onto time though that doesn’t stop me from wishing it were possible. As I was admiring the stunning Fall foliage in Central Park, Phineas was rooting around in the leaves looking for a tasty morsel of something. My pup has a penchant for trash. I was explaining the dangers of eating things off the ground to him when we met one of our neighbors with her flat-coat retriever. This sweet dog was diagnosed with cancer during the summer, started chemotherapy, and then had to terminate treatment because of internal bleeding. “I’m not sure how she’s still alive,” said our neighbor through a lump in her throat.

My eyes started to well up with tears. Losing a dog is one of the worst kind of hurts I’ve ever known. I wanted to let my neighbor have her space and time with her dog so I told her how sorry I was and wished her well. I turned to leave to let my neighbor have her peace and so she didn’t see me cry. Phineas did something else, something I thought was quite extraordinary. He walked right up to his dear canine friend and gently bumped her chin with the top of his nose. Then he gave her a smooch. He knew what was happening. He was saying goodbye since we’ll probably never see this sweet pup again.

When we got a few blocks away and I finally got ahold of my tears, I knelt down on the ground and looked right into Phineas’s eyes. “Look Phineas,” I said, “I know you’ve got a lot on your plate but you’re going to have to find a way to live forever. Okay, buddy?” He gave me a smooch right on the nose, and I think that means he’s accepted the challenge. I can’t hang onto time; I’m hoping Phin can find a way.

career, decision-making, time

Beautiful: Know When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Christa Avampato

ff89d2cb2e38f7e34ed54081286e1791In keeping with the theme of using October as a month of renewal, I’ve decided to stop doing some things. Time has value far beyond any other possession we have. We must spend it wisely. For a few months I’ve been writing branded content through a third-party vendor as one of my writing gigs. The vendor has a stable of writers, finds brands that need quality content, and puts the two together.

It’s a fine concept – on paper. The trouble is that with this particular vendor the writers and clients never speak directly to one another. They only communicate via email through the third-party, and very little information is given to the writer at the outset. Lots of signals get crossed and lost, leading to hefty rewrites that make the per piece pay rate untenable given all of the work and re-work each piece takes.

I dropped the gig yesterday, and feel happy / sad about the decision. The third party vendor isn’t happy about it. I never like walking away from work though I understand from friends of mine who have been freelancing far longer than I (Amanda, I’m looking at you with my big blog-y eyes) that this is the way of the freelance world. Not every opportunity will be as good as it seems. And some opportunities will be good for a while, but aren’t suited for the long haul.

As Kenny Rogers says, you gotta know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. A gambler I am, at least in the proverbial sense. Next!

community, time

Beautiful: Entrepreneurs Must Protect Their Time

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

There is no end to the number of good causes that can benefit from your time and expertise. In the past, I’ve had a tendency to volunteer my time too freely to community-based projects. When I started my own business, I discovered the true value of my time. I am a big believer in good causes, and it took me time to realize that I must be selective and careful in how I choose to engage.

Pam Slim, one of my mentors and inspirations in building a freelance life, cautions her readers about this in her book Escape from Cubicle Nation. As ambitious, driven people, we know how much of an impact we can make, especially when it comes to good causes in our communities. It’s important to feel connected to missions that make us feel alive. It’s equally important to make sure that we have the reserves to give ourselves to the ideas that matter most to us. To do that, we need to treat our time as irreplaceable. After all, it is.

action, decision-making, friendship, time

Beautiful: Wait or Act? How to Decide.

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

“I like things to happen. And if they don’t happen, I like to make them happen.” – Winston Churchill

The most striking outcome of my time in California is my decreased tolerance for waiting unnecessarily. Some times, we need patience. We need to take a beat, a breath, a moment. A gathering storm needs to pass. We need to deal with a new emergency. But patience can be used like a crutch. We wait because it seems less scary than action. 

So how can we tell if it’s time to wait or time to act? Remove ourselves from the decision. Imagine that a friend is asking for your advice on the exact situation you’re in. This friend is strong, capable, ambitious, and talented. She will succeed or learn trying. Should she act? Should she wait? That’s your answer. 

Almost always I find my answer is to act. Try this experiment. Let me know how it goes. 

career, learning, time

Beautiful: Jack of All Trades, Master of One

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

“Be a jack of all trades, master of one. Be a specialist and a generalist.” ~ Calvin Soh, SXSW V2V

This piece of insight from SXSW V2V may have been the most helpful in terms of my own personal career. For a long time I’ve wrestled with a way to reconcile my vast number of interests with the desire to choose an expertise. During the recession and in its aftermath, I’ve seen specialists struggle to make ends meet. Personally, I’ve felt the stress of being pulled in many different directions by my passions and eagerness to learn new skills and information. Calvin helped me see that both are possible in the world that we live in. Being a generalist and a specialist isn’t weird; it’s necessary.

The secret is self-control and self-monitoring. The key question I have to ask when tackling something new is: how much knowledge do I need to connect the dots and make this new information useful? My former boss Bob G. used to say, “I want to know enough to be dangerous.” In other words, know enough to be articulate and ask the best questions of the experts. I don’t need a PhD in every subject that interests me. I just need to go as far as the fun of learning takes me. That is enough.

choices, creativity, decision-making, journey, time

Beautiful: Give Life to Your Madness

Christa Avampato

80a9859ef75df428fb6ac4cff03310d8Wrapping up a week in madness, I’ve reflected a lot on the ideas of creativity, transformation, and acceptance. Remaking ourselves and our lives takes courage. Some people may not understand what you’re doing or why or how. They might put us down in every way possible, and we might start to do the same to our own mad dreams. Don’t take your cue from them. Their words and actions, as much as they may hurt, have nothing to do with you. It is just an expression of them wrestling with their own demons and lost dreams that they didn’t follow. And the reasons for their choices don’t matter. They chose. Now you choose: Go down that road even though you know how it ends, and it doesn’t end well, or go in a new direction.

New directions can be frightening. We are leaving behind our history, our patterns, our expectations, and the impressions of others. Of course it’s mad to chart a new course. The old worn one is so much easier to travel. Be mad. I know it sounds so easy to say “let go”. No one tells us how painful that process can be. There’s a grieving, a mourning period. But on the other side of that grief, is light.

And here’s something else no one tells us: once we strike out on a new road, we don’t travel alone. Up ahead, just around the bend, there is someone new waiting, lots of someones waiting. They took off before we did in the same pursuit of something new and exciting, something that they feel passionately about. They are our new examples of how to be. We are both teacher and student, always. We learn and then we turn around and teach others through our example. That’s how it’s always been.

Yes, we’re here to take life by the horns, madness included, but we’re also here to give even more back. We’re here to be generous with our experience so that others may be encouraged and inspired to invest in their own mad dreams. That’s progress.

choices, courage, decision-making, design, determination, time

Beautiful: The Mad Path Is One of Possibility

Christa Avampato

113b7d49aefec161100fed4bc73d5d9b“I don’t want people to think I’m crazy so I won’t say, do, try…’x’.” How many times have you said that to yourself? I hear that recording running in my mind all the time. And I’ve learned to acknowledge it, thank it for its counsel, and then let it go. We have to release that thought if we are to do anything original. Our value, and the value of work, is found in what’s not obvious, in connecting dots that have been disparate.

That’s the place to go – into the dark corners, into the places that others won’t go. And don’t be meek about it. Hold your head up high, confident, bold, brave, and daring. Attempt to go so far in the direction of your dreams that you merge with them. Your life is an expression of what matters most to you – who you spend your time with, where you go, the actions you take, the support, encouragement, and love that you provide to others.

Don’t be discouraged if others can’t see what you see. It’s not their fault. They don’t have your vision in their minds. You have to build it for them. You have to bring along those who are interested in your path bit by bit. The expression you wear on your face and the light you emit from just being who you are, living your very best day every day no matter what circumstances you face, is all the proof you need.

choices, creativity, time

Beautiful: How to Stop Regret

Christa Avampato

986deadf17932b6f366f124d13b52ec5“And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.” ~ Ted Hughes

The hero’s journey is never a choice between two options, one wonderful and one awful. The hero’s journey is a choice between options that are all good. We have to decide where to spend our time if our time is limited, which it always is. We don’t know much of it we have. We have only now, right now, today. Ted Hughes gives us an excellent framework to evaluate the paths that lay before us. If we are to use our time wisely, the essential questions that we have to consider at the end of each day are:

1.) Today, did I do something bold?
2.) Today, did I wear my heart on my sleeve?
3.) Today, did I put love into everything I did?

Make today count. Answer yes to each question every day.

creativity, time, values, writing

Beautiful: Your Mission, Your Tagline

Christa Avampato

c9ce7be37f7cff45866452dbd86940bcIn business school, I was trained to place supreme emphasis on an elevator pitch. In this age of shorter-than-ever attention spans, an elevator pitch is too long. Now we need a tagline to use online and off. Who are you and what do you care about in 10 words or less? I recently updated the tagline on my blog: “Curating a creative life through ancient wisdom and modern tech.” 

My tagline used to read “Curating a creative life” and I would sometimes get the question, “how do you do that?” I wanted to be clearer about what I do so I expanded my tag line with the descriptors of how I curate a creative life. This summer I realized that everything I do is rooted in two worlds – the one of ancient wisdom (art, yoga, philosophy, wellness) and modern tech. That balance is very important to me because the two halves inform one another.

This clarity took time and a lot of effort to find and articulate. However, it was well worth the energy because it’s made my other career decisions so much easier. That’s the power of a personal mission.

What’s your tagline?

business, career, time, work

Beautiful: Take the Time to Lean In

Christa Avampato

I lean in every single day and I’m happy about it. It all boils down to this: What am I most committed to? Where do I find joy? My answer: at the intersection of ancient wisdom (my yoga) and modern technology (my work). I love to make, write, and teach. And I really love to help other people live the lives they want. I lean in by spending the vast majority of my time doing those things and so far, so great.

I made my choices about my career and my life, and I’m thrilled with them. Sure I have tough days, but they’re all purposeful and that purpose keeps me going, especially when there are (very large) bumps in the road. I don’t tell myself, or anyone else, that I can be everywhere and do everything. I can’t do it all, and why on Earth would I ever want to? I want to spend as much time as I can doing things I love with people I love in a place that I love. For me, that’s the best way to live.

So am I leaning in? You better believe it. I’m leaning in to a life that’s everything I want it to be. And that is enough.