I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
At some point we’ve all said to ourselves, “Take what you can get. Something is better than nothing.” Take the volume on that train of thought and turn it down to zero. Better yet, kick it to the curb and let it stay there, as far away from you as possible. Your time, mind, heart, and talent have an infinite amount of value. Don’t let anyone or anything make you think differently.
I was waiting for things to settle down and get back to the way they used to be until I realized that every experience fundamentally changes us. Time marches on and we have to march with it. I’m grateful for this because it makes every moment, every day, special and unique. Storms may turn our world upside down but they also show us who we are and what we’re made of. They are part of the wild ride of Life.
All changes are tough, even the ones that are blessings. With every change, something dies and falls away. We mourn the loss of the good and the bad. To wipe the slate clean, we have to go through this loss of the old to make way for the new. Give yourself the space and time to process the loss, even though it may be welcomed and expected. Go through the motions. Take all the steps. Feel all the feelings. No regrets.
Ever feel done? Really done with a situation that’s been somewhat bearable for a while and now feels so heavy you have to let it go? I hit that wall Tuesday morning with a few of my consulting projects.
And in the midst of that realization there were so many incredible things happening—the amazing rehearsal process of Sing After Storms with our incredibly talented team and friends pouring in support through every possible avenue. I could feel transformation start to make its way into my life, the way water begins to carve its path through stone, the way plants begin to overtake manmade structures when left to their own devices. It feels like progress, however slow and uncomfortable it may be. I could sense a serious make-over of my entire life taking root right at the center of my heart.
Life is so incredibly short. As my friend, Alex, recently said to me, “I’m going to wake up and be 70. That’s how fast life’s going.” She’s totally right. Time is flying. My energy and creativity have to be channelled into what lights me up, not what tears me down. That’s all we really have time to do.
I’ve been talking to a lot of friends about big life changes. Moving, relationships, jobs, creative projects. It’s too easy to say, “I’ll get to that later.” Later never arrives. If you have something you really want to do, something you want to try, take the plunge. Give it a whirl. Grab the opportunity. There’s no good reason to put off anything you really want to do. You deserve the very best shot at exactly the life you want. I support anyone and everyone willing to take any kind of chance. Go for it!
There are many things that hold us back from doing what we want to do. Most of them are self-made and the chief among them is focus. We are bombarded with opportunities, ideas, and doubts. Most of it is noise. We’ve got to find a way to turn down the volume on that noise and turn up the volume on our own dreams. We’ve got to say no to the noise and yes to what moves us forward. Lists help me. Every day I make a list of three things that I must get done. That list keeps me from wasting time and forces focus. How do you stay focused?
Toward the end of season 1 of House of Cards, a restaurant owner loses his business. The person foreclosing on him asks if he’d like to take a memento. “I’ve never been one for looking back,” he says. We can’t let our past circumstances impede our future. It can strengthen us, teach us, and inspire us. We can’t let it stop us. We’ve got to move up, on, over, and through. The past isn’t changing. The present is what it is. The future is for us to design.
The past is a wonderful place to learn but I don’t recommend making it your home. It’s fun to remember, to be nostalgic, to pay tribute to what we’ve lived through – the good and the bad. However, we have to live it going forward. We have to take everything we learned in our past and carry it forward so that we make better, more informed choices today. We’ve got to learn to keep what serves us well and let go of everything else. In this way we can honor the past without repeating it or being hampered by it.
I recently met someone who assumed that I must be permanently giving up all my other professional hats to work on Sing After Storms. I imagine that this will be true to some extent during the month of June. Balance won’t be possible in that month. I have to completely give myself and my time over to that process, and I’m more than happy to do that. I’ll take a break when the curtain comes down.
Somewhere along the way many people felt they had to have balance every minute of every day. That idea feels like a great way to set myself up for failure. I have balance over a much longer time horizon. I work intensely and then I take a break. That cycle happens many times over the course of a year, and I find it makes me grateful for my work and grateful for my breaks. It’s energizing but never exhausting because I understand that balance is a cycle. It’s dynamic. It moves, flexes, and transforms. It’s not something we have to chase. It’s something we can ritualize and build into our lives.
The waves of cold this winter left me wondering how to get Phin and I out of the freezer of New York City. We’re also not fans of the city’s summer heat, mosquitos, and giant air conditioning bills. Being shut in during the polar vortex gave me time to think about how to make myself truly location-independent. I want all the inspiration and creativity of New York City and the space from it to fully appreciate what it and other cities have to offer. My California break last summer worked wonders for me, personally and professionally. I want to find a way to always take my work with me so I can spend the Spring and Fall in New York City and the Winter and Summer in a temperate climate. The wheels are turning. The will is there so I know the way can’t stay hidden for long.
Christa Avampato 