Our conceptions of time hold us back. We’re either too old or too young. We don’t have enough experience. We don’t have enough education. We don’t have the right contacts. We don’t have the right skills. We haven’t been at our current jobs long enough or we’ve been around too long to change. We’re too old or too young to get married, have kids, buy a house, travel around the world. We’re too old or too young to create change. We use time as an excuse to not take action. We use time as a way of wiggling out of rising up to be everything we are meant to be.
Time’s up. No more waiting. No more excuses. No more looking forward or looking back. You are have right now. In this moment, we are capable of great change. And it’s true in every moment. Go and be exactly who you want to be. Time doesn’t stand still. Time doesn’t wait for us. But in time, there lives every possibility. Go grab it!
“Make it a habit to rest on the roses and not the thorns.” ~ Rumi via Mona Anand, Senior Teacher at ISHTA Yoga
Over the weekend, our yoga teacher training class was facing a long weekend. It was filled with wonderful learning and we were all very happy to be there, though the challenge of it was palpable. We are now getting deep inside the philosophical and physical layers of advanced postures, breathing techniques, and meditation practices. Like all things worth doing, they take effort.
Mona, one of our wonderful teachers, sensed the weariness in us. In the middle of the practice she brought us to a relaxing posture so that our minds could settle and we could check in with how we were feeling. She asked us to follow Rumi’s advice, seeking to rest on the roses and not the thorns. Too often we focus on the challenge of our circumstances; Mona wanted us to take the time to focus on our ease as well.
Our situation may be difficult but somewhere in the midst of it is a place to recharge and gather our strength. It is our center; it is within us always. In times of trouble, we always have a place to turn. Turn in.
There’s an executive recruiter who’s been calling me for a few months. Every time we talk and we like each other less and less. She asks a lot of questions, never listens to my very honest answers, and then is annoyed that I’m not interested in the jobs she’s trying to staff (which are in direct contradiction to all of the answers I’ve given to her never-ending list of questions.)
I don’t understand why she keeps calling me, on my office phone number no less. And then on Thursday afternoon, I finally realized that I needed to explain to her exactly why she’s having trouble getting people like me (and everyone I know) to take these postings seriously: they don’t pass the BS test.
She was totally annoyed by my advice. I found a more professional way to explain the BS test but the general sentiment is the same – don’t give me some high-brow job description filled with jargon. Tell me what’s amazing about the company and the team and why I want to be part of it. Don’t try to dazzle me with buzz words like “high-level strategy”, “high-visibility”, “senior-level exposure”. Tell me what a day in my life could be like there and what I’m going to learn. And please don’t tell me what my skills can do for a company. I already know that. Instead, relate to what I care so deeply and passionately about – developing products and services that make people’s lives better.
Corporate HR and executive recruiters need to really push their clients, meaning the hiring leaders. Really push them to accurately represent the jobs they’re looking to fill and exactly what those job descriptions are in plain English. Then they need to tap into their other customer base, the people they’re trying to recruit, and listen, really listen, to exactly what it is those candidates want to do and why. Any other path is just an extraordinary waste of time – for recruiters, for companies, and would-be team members.
I need to post this up in my apartment, particularly as I begin this new chapter of my life that involves great risk in an effort to achieve a life of my own design. Words to live by.
The Dalai Lama’s 18 Rules For Living
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: -Respect for self -Respect for others -Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you have never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Up until now I have had a distinct disdain for power yoga. The very term power yoga made me shake my head in wonder. Why would anyone practice that?
Now I’m eating a bit of Bakasana (crow.) Mel, One of my mentors and teachers at ISHTA, has a class called Hour of Power. I intended to show my face once and never return. Now I actually look forward to it for a very simple reason – it’s improved my strength dramatically. I feel myself carrying my whole body differently. Lats week Mel had us do something she calls the martian butterfly sequence. Essentially we unfolded and packed up a Sun Salutation, adding one breath and one posture to each cycle. It took about 30 minutes and involved a lot of plank postures, lowering to chaturanga (bottom of a push-up) and then pressing back up. I think she calls it the martian sequence because by the end of it I was so wiped that I felt like I was on another planet.
Mel must have read the expression on my face when she cued our first pressing up. “Don’t tell yourself you can’t do something. Don’t think about it. Just do it.” So I did. Barely but I did it. Over and over and over again.
But here’s the miraculous thing that happened a few days later….
I was in a class and the teacher cued us to push back up from chaturanga and I just did it. I didn’t think about it. I didn’t tell myself I couldn’t do it. It just happened.
And the other miracle of this stronger practice is that I find myself softening off the mat, better able to manage challenges that arise with ease and grace. Maybe there really is something to this power yoga after all…
“You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?”~ Rumi via MindBodyGreen
For the past few months, I’ve been reading a book of poetry by Rumi. Each day I read a poem right before I go to bed. It’s proving to be a beautiful ritual that closes out each day with grace and peace. Invariably, each poem helps me to appreciate the lessons I’ve learned each day and how they can be used in my life going forward.
If you came over to my apartment, you’d find tiny pictures everywhere that symbolize the idea of leaping. I’ve become rather obsessed with these images. I find that they have so much hope in them. They give me courage as I prepare to make a huge change in my career and by extension, my life. You’ll find most of them on my Photography Pinterest board. There’s one with a quote that reads, “Sometimes you just need to leap and build your wings on the way down.” The line from Rumi above (thanks MindBodyGreen!) made me realize that it should really read “Sometimes you just need to leap and use the wings you’ve already got.”
I already have everything I need to make this jump – experience, purpose, and support – and now I just need the missing ingredient – time – to bring it all together. Lisa, one of the lovely readers of this blog, wrote in a comment on yesterday’s post that she hasn’t yet found the courage to make her leap. The first idea that flooded into my mind was that courage is closer than she thinks. It is for all of us.
There will never be a time when everything falls into place and eliminates all risk. If we are to fly we have to leave the security of the ground for the lightness of the air. We forget that air has heft to it, too. It is able to carry, support, and sustain travelers through long journeys. However, air requires that we work just as hard as it is willing to work. We have to be brave, stretch and reach out far and wide, in order to receive its benefits. It asks a lot of us, and that’s okay because these wings of ours, the ones we have always had, are begging for some wear, for some room, for some time to show what they’re made of and what they have to offer.
Eventually we will have no choice. Those wings won’t be contained for long. They either get used or they atrophy. And if that’s the choice, then why not give them a shot at the prize and go along for the ride? At the very least you’ll have a wonderful adventure and if you’re lucky you may just have the time of your life.
“You’re leaving? What are you going to do?” (Said with an exotic mix of terror, awe, and confusion with a hint of frustration and a healthy handful of ‘I’ll-believe-it-when-I-see-it’.)
This is a fairly common response I’m getting as I begin to make my plans for Leap Day known. To be fair, I also have a tremendous number of wonderful people in my life who couldn’t be happier with my decision, and who think it’s about time I finally did this! The questions of what I’m going to do with myself post-leap is entirely valid and it’s high time I answered exactly what I will and won’t be doing in this newly designed life o’ mine.
Things I will be doing:
Finishing my advanced teacher training at ISHTA Yoga to complete my 500-hour teacher certification. There will be a celebration when it’s all wrapped up this summer!
Working on Compass Yoga, the nonprofit I founded a year ago to focus on improving the health of all people by teaching the therapeutic benefits of yoga and meditation through free and low-cost classes and workshops. Given the demand and need in New York City, the programming requiress more of my attention. We’re also eagerly awaiting the approval of our 501(c)3 status to begin fundraising efforts.
Working on my freelance writing and a few personal writing projects like The Geronimo Project. (Know someone who took a leap of faith in their career and wants to share the story? Send them my way!)
Consulting with Sesame Workshop. I have been tremendously lucky to be a consultant this year with the Joan Ganz Cooney Center, the education research arm of the Sesame Workshop, as they set-up their second annual National STEM Video Game Challenge. I’ll be continuing that work this summer and also looking to pick up some additional consulting work if possible. Someone’s got to make sure my pup, Phineas, has a warm bed and a full belly!
Running a pilot of Innovation Station. About 2 years ago I started working on a new product development curriculum for middle and high school students that I named Innovation Station. After a number of iterations, I finally found a format that is worthy of a pilot program. Now that I’ll have time during the school day, I’m going in search of a partner school. (I’m taking suggestions!)
Learning to code. Thanks to Codecademy, I’m fully indulging my inner nerd to learn the basics of coding as a way to grow my skill set while I stretch my mind. “Why does a yoga teacher need to learn how to code?” you ask. With the way our world is going, a knowledge of coding will be as necessary basic computer skills in the coming years.
Things I won’t be doing:
Sitting around eating Pop Tarts and watching TV. Well, that’s not entirely true. I enjoy a good Pop Tart now and then, and I do love TV. My consumption of both will be kept under control.
Doing tedious, menial work that doesn’t take advantage of my full set of interests and skills. (Enough of that!)
Wallowing in regret over the risk I’m taking.
Spending a lot of money. I don’t spend that much money now, but I’ll be making adjustments to do more with less. I’m actually really excited about living in an even thriftier fashion.
It’s going to be exciting to see what comes of this mix. Rest assured it will all be shared here.
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” ~Virginia Woolf, British writer
You’ve got a lot of living to do – social life, work life, personal life, family life, time to explore new interests, time to keep up with long-time interests, and then just down time to rest, relax, and rejuvenate. How do all the puzzle pieces come together without any of them getting cheated?
I thought about this question a lot last night as I made my way home after a yoga class and another evening meeting immediately after my class. On the subway ride home I continued reading An Everlasting Meal by Tamar Adler. In it she gives advice on cooking, eating, and living simply, elegantly, and gracefully. I have to admit that I’m mildly addicted to trying out her ideas in my own very tiny kitchen. She’s also incredibly budget-conscious, which I’ve also been thinking about a lot as I narrow in on my Leap Day.
Pondering the question of time management, I turned to my kitchen – my tiny refuge. When I don’t know what to do or think or feel, I cook. Somehow the act of preparing food shuts down my mind for a bit, and when I re-emerge into the world I still may not have answers but at least I have something tasty to fuel my thinking. Last night it was a simple meal of buttered toast topped with whipped cottage cheese, tomatoes, and parsley along with a fennel and orange salad. Simple, elegant, graceful. Stomach full. Thinking cap replaced.
Time management at its very core comes down to priorities. I get things done that I care about. Everything else I leave to someone else. I’ve made habits out of things I enjoy, that inspire me, that raise me up no matter how low I feel. I don’t stress over things of little to no consequence, and I’m thoughtful about things of great consequence. Over time, I’ve learned to let go of everything that doesn’t serve me well. Sometimes that letting go is painful and sometimes it’s joyful, but it’s all worthwhile and I always learn something in the process.
Above all, I eat well, sleep well, and I only do things that I can do with my whole heart. That’s the only way I can be assured that my days are worthwhile.
My friend, Sol, posted this on his Facebook page. How about we make our health our priority, live in the present, and make the most of the time we have together?
Pam Slim offers up this advice for entrepreneurs, though I think we should all honor it since we are all working on something of real value – be ruthless with your time. There are people who will be careless with it; there are people who think they own it because you work for them; there are people who don’t respect their own talents, gifts, and time, and therefore it never occurs to them to respect those of others. You have to guard your energy, and your energy is carried on the rails of time.
Free time is a misnomer. Time is never, ever free. There is always a trade-off. Even if you are the most supreme multi-tasker on the planet, there is a limit to how much you can do in any one moment, and you never get a single moment back. It’s spent and gone, and your time is finite. We won’t go on forever.
Life is generous, but it’s not that generous.
Forget would, should, and could when it comes to your time. The only verb that time understands is “do”. And what you do is always up to you. Be ruthless with your time. Take it very seriously, and do something so valuable with it that it will be worth remembering when it’s gone.
Our conceptions of time hold us back. We’re either too old or too young. We don’t have enough experience. We don’t have enough education. We don’t have the right contacts. We don’t have the right skills. We haven’t been at our current jobs long enough or we’ve been around too long to change. We’re too old or too young to get married, have kids, buy a house, travel around the world. We’re too old or too young to create change. We use time as an excuse to not take action. We use time as a way of wiggling out of rising up to be everything we are meant to be.
Christa Avampato 