There’s something to be said for giving without asking for anything in return. Give time, love, kindness, empathy. Give it away to people who need it and ask for it. Give it away to people who need it, even though they’re too proud to ask for it.
I’ve never regretted giving. Even if it didn’t come back to me in the way I expected or hoped or wanted it to. I have found that in some way everything I’ve ever given has been returned to me many times over.
I’ve been sorry for times when I didn’t give enough, or when I didn’t give at all. I often think about those times and wish I could go back and do more. But since there’s no changing the past, I double down on my giving today and tomorrow. That lesson has been its own gift.
I know this much is true: the more I give, the more I receive. The more I give, the more I believe in the power of goodness. The more I give, the more I realize that we have the opportunity every day to make this world a little brighter, a little better, a little more like a world we’re proud to call home.
Vertical staircases at the foot of Mt. Huashan, China
Difficulty is good for us.
Yesterday I was reading an article in Intelligent Life, an Economist publication, entitled “The Uses of Difficulty” by Ian Leslie. He gives examples, mostly from the music industry, that depict challenges and difficulties as gifts that we should seek out, even create, for the benefit of our growth. At first glance this argument sounds like something akin to the benefits of brussels sprouts, but I was intrigued by the argument (and I happen to love brussels sprouts) so I kept reading.
In yoga, we search for that magical space between effort and ease. At first, I thought that’s where Ian was going but he took this idea to a whole new level. He presents scientific evidence that shows we actually benefit cognitively from doing things that are difficult, that do not come naturally to us. The benefits are so stark that he suggests purposely creating difficulty even when we find ease. This theory flies in the face of the idea that we should play to our strengths, or at least the idea that we should always play to our strengths.
This article also has the wheels of my mind spinning around the concept of short-term versus long-term benefits. Should we accept, even relish, short-term challenge because in the long-term it makes us more creative, intelligent, quick, strong, resilient, and, let’s face it, interesting? Is discomfort today worth triumph tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow?
On Friday, I gave my homemade pasta making another try. I made a triple batch a couple of weeks ago and pasta dough holds up well in the freezer when stored properly. For a moment, I thought about making a different shaped pasta. Then I considered that my last attempt at forming the orecchiette (little ear shaped pasta) needed improvement.
So I rolled out the dough and took my own feedback on how to improve my pasta shaping. The result of the second trial – vastly improved! There is so much to learn during the second turn at bat.
I have a bit of an addiction to the new. My greatest fear is being bored so I often charge off in the direction of the unknown. However, there is so much to be learned by trying something, considering how to do it better next time around, and then actually having a next time around.
I started to think about how this may apply to other areas of my life. I am often guilty of filing an activity under “been there, done that” if I have an experience that is less than stellar. Maybe all this time I’ve been missing an opportunity for incredible learning. It’s wonderful to acquire new skills and experiences – it’s my favorite way to pass the time. But there is also real value in trying something and trying it again to compare the results.
Slowly, I am beginning to see that there may be more second chances in my future.
“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.” ~ Charles Buxton, British brewer, philanthropist, writer and legislator
Now that I’m on the downside of an intense freelance assignment that helped me cover all of my living expenses with consulting work within 6 months of going on my own, I’ve given myself an additional 6 months to make a go of this freelance life. The first 6 months was about simply proving that I could make ends meet out on my own. The next 6 months will take on a more strategic approach.
I’ve been thinking a lot about bigger life goals for this next 6 months rather than short-term skills I’d like to enhance or short-term experiences I’d like to gain. For example, I have a few writing projects floating around in my mind. Some of them are close to 15 years old. As I went to my yoga class yesterday, I began thinking about them and my initial reaction was “if only I had the space in my mind and in my calendar to work on them.” That thought stopped me in my tracks. If I don’t have the time to pursue them now, when I have maximum flexibility with my schedule, then when am I going to pursue them?
On the subway to yoga, this quote by Charles Buxton flew into my inbox. Alright Universe, I hear you. Thanks for the reminder – we are capable of making all the time we need to do the things we really want to do.
I am so excited to announce that I have signed on to be the new 5 Minute Yoga blogger for Do You Yoga. They reached out to me last week after reading my pieces online and asked if I would be interested in taking over the column. I was thrilled to be asked and am even more thrilled to get going!
Every week I will write a short article on how to bring the benefits of yoga into your busy life, even if you only have 5 minutes. I hope the articles are helpful and informative, and that they inspire you to unroll your mat more often.My goal is to illustrate that no matter how we busy we are, we always have at least a little time to take care of ourselves.
This week, my first article is about how to fit your yoga into your holidays. Enjoy!
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” ~ W.B. Yeats
On Sunday, I went to a housewarming party and happily saw some of my wonderful former co-workers, now friends. Most have left the company where we worked together and we all talked about finding our next great adventure in the world of work. One person finished up at the company on Friday and really wanted to know if there was as much opportunity out there as he’s heard. My answer was an emphatic “YES!”
The synchronicity of this Yeats quote flying into my inbox this morning was not lost on me. I’m in the midst of a short but intense freelance assignment in addition to my responsibilities at Sesame Workshop, PBS, and Compass Yoga. This morning I had to turn down my first freelance assignment for the sole reason that over the next week or so I have a completely full, well-compensated plate. And then we’re into the holidays when I plan to spend an inordinate amount of quality time with my family and friends, sans work.
I promise you that there are magical, joyful, blow-you-mind unbelievable opportunities floating all around you. So many that you’ll have your pick. They are like fireflies on the warmest summer nights. They are begging to be seen, recognized, and acted upon. By you. To see them, you must let go of your fears about finding them. You must trust the process – commit to finding a new kind of living and working. Then, the opportunities will be so obvious that you’ll wonder why you waited so long. Once you leap, they will be there to light your way.
Yesterday, marked the 20th anniversary of my father’s passing. I’ve been alive longer without him than with him. To even fathom that 20 years has passed makes my mind numb. I remember that evening so clearly that I could recite my actions and thoughts of each minute. I think of it in frames of a film, a shutter action happening in between each. There’s some soaring music in the background that rises and falls in waves like water.
That night I was viscerally aware that I was literally closing one chapter of my life and opening another one with my bare hands. The door between those chapters was heavy and awkward. I knew that once it shut behind me that there was no going back. That feeling is lodged in my heart in a way that used to feel painful and now is just familiar. It’s become one of my oldest friends.
Nothing happens in isolation. As soon as my mind turns those events over a few times, it just keeps going and I follow it along as an audience member, as if I am watching a performance of Sleep No More. At first it slowly trudges to the wake and funeral, to high school graduation, to leaving my hometown, to college and everything that would unravel and then coalesce in that time.
The speed of the frames in my mind picks up rapidly after that. As a young 20-something I thought I would go into politics and instead opted for a career in theatre, moving from D.C. to New York to life on the road. That would lead me to Florida, back to D.C., on to graduate school in Virginia, and then back to New York where I’ve made my home for the past 5 and a half years. That journey flashes with so many characters and scenes and travels across the globe, some happy, some sad and everything in between. It makes me dizzy if I think about it for too long.
I used to feel so much a part of that narrative. No matter how much distance I got from December 1, 1992, I was still that character, playing that role. I was this way because my dad was that way. I played the victim card, the martyr card, the lost card, the hopeless card, the trapped card. I let the role write the script instead of writing it myself.
It took a long time for me to understand how that’s a clear and certain road to disaster. No one wins in that scenario, least of all me. And it took me even more time to realize that it didn’t have to be that way. The beginning of a journey influences its course but it doesn’t define it. It is within our power, responsibility, and right to own the narrative of our lives.
We can fold, toss those old worn out cards into the center of the table, and walk away. It’s okay to leave it behind and continue on in a different direction. It’s healthy to do so. It’s required if we intend to do anything extraordinary with our lives. We can honor our past, our roots, and not feel shackled to them. What happened, happened. There’s no changing it. What happens next? Well, that’s up to us. It’s always up to us.
Wherever my dad is now, I hope he folded his hand, too, walked away from the table, and set out on a new course that was brighter than the one that was here among us. Every soul deserves that chance.
“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” ~ Mary Oliver
I walk through the world with my eyes and ears wide open. I take in as much information as I can, even if I’m not sure how or when or why it would be useful. I love those moments when I realize that something I saw, read, or learned years ago is now immediately relevant in my life. It really strengthens my faith in the power of curiosity and makes me wonder if there is always some divine work at play.
Are we given lessons now so that we acquire knowledge and experience that we will need many years down the road? Is today’s challenge preparing us to meet tomorrow with the increased sense of vigor and determination that we will need to get through?
Questions like this make any difficulty I face more palpable. Time and time again in my life, I’ve seen how this plays out. There are no coincidences. If I am willing to be a student in every experience, there is always something to learn that is useful down the line. Even the challenges. Especially the challenges. They are tough to live through but my goodness do they teach us better than any circumstance of our own design.
We innovate because we are challenged. We rise up because something attempts to keep us down. We reach out to others with empathy and compassion because we understand the circumstances they face and because someone gave us a hand up when we really needed it.
Awareness helps us to wake up to the gifts that this Universe has to offer, even if those gifts are cloaked in packages that seem undesirable. Pay attention to what the world offers – it’s found its way to our path for a reason. Our job is to make each of these lessons useful.
I love this decree by the Hopi Elders. There are many internet comments that say this was not written by the Hopi Elders even though it is heavily influenced by their sentiments. No matter. The sentiment is beautiful and worth sharing. When I read it yesterday I actually teared up a bit. It invites deep reflection followed by courageous action. Beware – you may feel highly inclined to better yourself in any and every way after the last line.
“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered:
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of The river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.
See who is in there with you and celebrate.
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves.
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over.
Gather yourselves!
Banish the word STRUGGLE; from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
“I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.” ~ Philip Yancey via my pal, Lisa, the lovely Charmed Yogi
About a year and a half ago, I decided that I wanted to try my hand at developing an independent consulting practice to freelance full-time on projects that are meaningful to me. A meticulous personal financial planner, I knew it would take me a year to put away enough money to feel comfortable to make this leap with my whole heart. I knew the final number I needed to have in the bank and set up monthly savings goals to reach it.
I made a deal with myself that I would try this lifestyle for 6 months, working my tail off to try to make ends meet. If I could cover all of my expenses by the end of 6 months, then I could keep going. If I couldn’t, I would look for full-time work again. And just to keep things interesting, I had to be very passionate about the freelance assignments I took.
June 15th of this year was Leap Day for me. I had my Mary Tyler Moore moment, wished my former employer a fond farewell, and off I went into the great big world of freelancing. While much of that time has been as close to career nirvana as I’ve ever had, these last few weeks have been slightly fraught with anxiety. December 15th is quickly approaching. I have turned down a fair amount of work because I just didn’t feel passionate about it. There were a couple of assignments I deeply wanted to secure that didn’t come to pass. I started to realize that I may not reach my goal, despite my very best efforts. A full-time job search looked inevitable.
And then in 24 hours it all turned around. I’m elated, over-the-moon, pleased as punch, ecstatic, and grateful beyond measure that I started a short-term assignment yesterday that put me in the black. With a couple of weeks to spare, I hit my goal of covering all of my expenses with freelance work by December 15th. I even have a little bit extra to put back into my savings and this gig has the potential to create a steady stream of wonderful, well-paid work into 2013.
Thank you so much to everyone who believed that this lifestyle could work for me, who cheered me on, who shared in this incredible journey in so many ways. I am humbled by your belief in me and deeply appreciative of the encouragement. I’ll find some way to say thank you that reflects just how much your support means to me. Happy holidays indeed!
There’s something to be said for giving without asking for anything in return. Give time, love, kindness, empathy. Give it away to people who need it and ask for it. Give it away to people who need it, even though they’re too proud to ask for it.
“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.” ~ Charles Buxton, British brewer, philanthropist, writer and legislator
“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” ~ Mary Oliver
Christa Avampato 