Category: self-help

health, healthcare, meditation, science, self-help, yoga

Beginning: The Road Back to Balance is Paved by the Breath

Christa Avampato

“The path from imbalance back to balance is a labyrinth.” ~ Dr. Bhaswati Bhattacharya

I arrived in Florida yesterday after a too-long flight and after too many months without a vacation. I didn’t realize just how tired I was until I was on the bus to the airport. I felt out of balance; the past few months have been emotional and my schedule has been packed to the gills. It’s time to decompress and release.

The long and winding road
The labyrinth back to balance that Dr. Bhaswati speaks about hit me full force once we were airborne. My thoughts were jumbled, and I could feel my body racing despite the fact that I was sitting down. Since my therapeutic yoga teacher training, I’ve been very aware of the effects of the stress response, aka fight or flight, on my body. Stress triggers a number of changes in the body that we can actually feel if we tune into them: our muscles tense, our blood pressure rises, and our digestive system slows down.

In the last few months when I feel these changes kicking in, I stop and breathe as deeply as possible into my belly. It’s been a conscious, constant effort, though entirely worth it. I feel more in tune with the changes my body makes involuntarily in response to stress and I voluntarily make changes to counteract these responses. It is give and take, a long and winding labyrinth.

Stress doesn’t discriminate
We can’t control the initial reactions of our bodies to stress. Much of it is regulated by our sympathetic (involuntary) nervous system and there is a good reason for that. The fight or flight response is meant to keep us safe; however, it’s not meant to be turned on all the time as happens with today’s society of constant stress and so with constant stress we run into big trouble. Our body has only one set of responses to stress – whether our stress is caused by a deadline at work, a traffic jam, or a tiger who’s on our tail. What I’m learning through yoga and meditation is that we have the ability to talk our bodies down off the ledge. We can tell ourselves, “Look, I know you’re freaking out right now, but it really is going to be okay. Just breathe.” That breath – deep into the belly, even inhales and exhales – is our guide, our guru. It takes us up and away from where we feel trapped and scared into a space that feels open and safe.

All I really have to do is breathe?
It sounds so simple, and it really is. When everything else falls away, our breath is always with us. So get some bright-colored paper, grab a sharpy, and write out the simple word “BREATHE” in big, bold letters. Post it around your home, your office, in your wallet, and in your car. Type it up as a to-do in your calendar on your phone and set a reminder every hour or two. Breathe, and find your way back to balance. Let me know how it goes.

happiness, Real Simple, self-help, Sue Monk Kidd, time

On Happiness: A Matter of Time

Christa Avampato

Some people are surprised to hear that the self-help section on a book store often has the most robust sales. Closet self-helpers like me are the reason; I am a fanatic about it. It often took me many hours to slog through accounting and finance books while I was in school. Self-help books I have been known to fly through at lightning speed.
So when the Today Show launched its most recent series, “5 ways to improve your life”, I naturally made a note of it a la David Allen, the author of “Getting things Done”, so I could check it out later. I must say the writers and researchers of the Today show are working overtime these days. About a year ago, I was becoming very disenchanted with them, though now they seem to be back on track. The information is useful – 5 ways to healthier bones, 5 ways to tone up, 5 ways to ride out the market, 5 ways to save for college, etc. In their section “5 ways to live longer”, one of the suggestions is “make the decision that your time is the most valuable thing in the world.” This, by far, is my favorite. An entire self-help book in one sentence.
I think of all the times that I hand over my time willy-nilly. I do it grudgingly on occasion, though I often treat my time as if it is entirely flexible. What if I compared my resource of time with ways I use other resources? Money, energy, my health, the love of my friends and family. I would never even dream of wasting those resources, and not in small part because those resources have a quantifiable limit. If I waste any one of them, there are dire consequences. I haven’t been thinking of my time that way on a consistent basis. Yes, I know when I am doing a project and my time is running out, then I see how precious it is. But what about my free time? Why do I give that away on a daily basis? Why do I treat it as if it is a resource in abundance rather than something precious?
The root of the problem is that I have not been looking at my time as something I truly own. It belongs to work, to my hobbies, to people in my personal life, to my community. What I need to do is flip that around. I own my time and have every ability and every right to decide how to divvy it up. It goes back to what Sue Monk Kidd wrote in The Secret Life of Bees, “The hardest thing on Earth is choosing what matters.”
And everything always comes back to this choice, this decision of how to spend time. No matter what decision I am pondering, at the root, it is all about time. Even decisions that seem to be about money or health or family. They are really based on “how much time do I have and how much of it do I want to spend on (fill in the blank)?”
This revelation is game-changing. We cannot help but live our lives differently if we begin to place an increasingly high value on the actual minutes that make up our lives. And not just those crucial moments or highlights like getting married, having a baby, graduating from school, getting a new job, buying a home, taking a vacation. Every minute – they all count. They’re all precious. They’re all unique – truly. We cannot repeat a single one of them. There is no do-over, no rewind.
I am a huge fan of Real Simple magazine, and one of their website features is wallpaper for the computer that contains a simple, brightly colored picture and an inspirational quote. On my desk top right now is one by Arthur Ashe and it seems particularly relevant to this post. “From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.” And what we give to everything we do is time. Treat it like a gift.