business, career, change, education, friendship, learning, work

How do you know when you’re done?

For the first time on this blog, I am writing from my Blackberry. Now that the full internet is always in my pocket, I have no excuse for not writing everday on this blog. The formatting may not be pretty, but I hope to keep the wit and insight constant despite this very tiny keyboard. Luckily I have tiny fingers. What I would really love is a peripheral full-size foldable keyboard that plugs right into my Blackberry. Maybe I need to contact the innovation head honcho at Blackberry and make that request.Now onto the topic of the day: knowing when you’re done.

With all of the demands placed on employees at work these days, it’s easy to understand how they are staying at work longer, physically and or virtually. In this economy, endless preparation is the name of the game for many. However, similar to student exam preparation, there is a point of diminishing returns. It’s similar to that old pithy line of “How can I ever miss you if you never go away?” Too much of a good thing is, well, no longer a good thing. This is true of almost everything in life, work included.

But with employees being pushed by managers in so many ways, how are we supposed to know when to call it quits? We could always do more, so how do we judge that fine line where more is less?

My dear friend, Ben, is a successful defense attorney. And because his expertise is criminal defense, he must be 100% prepared for every argument that could get thrown his way by the prosecution. Despite the fact that we recite the principle “innocent until proven guilty”, we rarely live it. I mean did anyone for a single moment believe that the “masterminds” at Bear Stearns were innocent before tried? I certainly didn’t, though I am a self-admitted hopeful cynic.

Ben has a very cool barometer of knowing when he’s done prepping for a case. It’s so good I considered stealing it as my own original thought for a very brief moment. Then I remembered I would be stealing from a highly-educated, best in class attorney who’s truly one of the most brilliant people I have ever met. Despite his humility and generosity, stealing IP from him seems unwise. And on occassion he reads this blog, so I would surely be caught. So please consider him fully-credited for this idea: prepare until your nervousness gives way to bordem. That’s the point at which all of your best thinking and lightbulb moments are exhausted.

So for today here is my own version of Letterman’s top 10 list – the top signs that I’m bored (aka – how I know when I’m just over it all):
10.) I begin to think about when I’m going to eat next
9.) I begin making multiple to-do lists in my head that have nothing to do with what’s in front of me
8.) I start humming audibly
7.) I start looking at my watch every 30 seconds
6.) I start thinking about how spot-on Tina Fey’s impression of Sarah Palin is
5.) I begin to wonder about the opportunity cost of doing what’s in front of me rather than doing something more “fun”
4.) I feel a nap coming on (even though I have chronic insomnia)
3.) Watching cartoons seems like a better use of my time
2.) Thinking I’d rather clean my bathroom than do the work in front of me.
1.) I realize I haven’t been paying attention to anything that the person in front of me has said for the past 10 minutes.

dating, education, learning, new media, technology

Learning a new language

At the BlogHer Conference, I heard Kerry Miller speak about her inspiration for her blog, PassiveAggressiveNotes.com. She was on a terrible date, explaining the passive aggressive notes her roommates would leave one another on post-its. She joked that she should put them on a blog, and she did, and the rest is history. It’s now become a very popular site with hundreds of people logging in every day. Even a bad date can have a good outcome, even if it’s not the good outcome you were hoping for. 


Which is how I consoled myself last night after a date that might be described as one of the worst dates ever. I rarely dish about dating on this site, though this story had some usefulness eventually. To give you a taste of what transpired – after regaling me with his ability to find a bargain, his side business scalping concert tickets on Ebay, and his knowledge of five French vocabulary words, he then managed to use curse words relating to the human anatomy and phrases like “wow, the youngsters here are enthusiastic.” (We were at a rock concert – note to self, rock concerts are not a good venue for a first date.) The date ended with me getting so sick to my stomach and dizzy from all of the smoking in the audience that I had to go outside, get some fresh air, and in the process dropped my ticket, banning me from re-entry. Thankfully, I had written down his cell phone number so I  sent him a text to let him know I was grabbing a cab home. The Universe saved me by snatching that ticket from my pocket. 


So what good could come out of this night that I wished I had stayed home and watched the Food Network? Two things: I know now that my mother was right – when dating, using the decade rule is best. In general, it’s very hard to romantically relate to someone who is 10 years older or younger than me. There of course are exceptions like Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. But by and large, I believe my mother on this one. The other terrific thing to come out of this unfortunate date is a new on-line tool that my date told me about. It’s the one he’s used to learn his five French words. Don’t hold that against the site. 


www.livemocha.com is a language learning site that doubles as a social network The lessons go at your selected pace, and it’s free. So long as you’re motivated to put in the time, you can build your own classroom across the world to help you learn or re-learn a language, and you can help others in the process. While the language of love was clearly eluding me last night, there’s now renewed hope for brushing up on my Spanish! Que bueno!