Category: integrity

animals, decision-making, dogs, integrity

Beautiful: Lessons from My Dog – Check Out Every Open Door, Be Bold, Stay Focused

Christa Avampato
Phineas in one of his more pensive moments
Phineas in one of his more pensive moments

A couple of days ago, it was 60 degrees in New York. Phineas didn’t even need a sweater on his walks. All of the businesses and apartment buildings flung open their doors to let in the warm sunshine. Phin didn’t hesitate; he wanted to take advantage of the situation and check out every single one, mostly because a lot of them have treats for the local dogs. As the saying goes, “His mama didn’t raise no fools.” Here’s what little Phin taught me by his actions:

1.) Don’t count yourself out of the running.
Too often we talk ourselves out of opportunities that are right in front of us. Thoughts like “Why me? I bet there’s a lot of competition. I shouldn’t even bother trying. I’ll just be disappointed when it doesn’t work out.” We self-sabotage before we even give ourselves a chance. Not Phineas. If that door is open, he’s going through it. Others may try to stop him (me included!), but he’s not discounting his own actions. He leaves that to someone else.

2.) Be bold.
Hold your head up high and never underestimate your own capabilities. Phin is a whopping 16 pounds and 6 inches at the shoulder. He’s a little dude but you’ve never know it from his attitude. I wonder where he learned that from…

3.) Have a mission and stay focused. 
Phin’s looking for two things when he walks through open doors – treats and attention. He also has a an insatiable sense of curiosity, often to my dismay because he checks out every square inch of the ground he traverses. We need to do the same: Know why we’re doing what we’re doing and why we’re going where we’re going. And always learn. Every circumstance has something to teach us.

These lessons are a reminder that Phineas is one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. I continue to be amazed by everything he shows me just by being who he is in every moment. That level of integrity, strength of character, and unwavering commitment to authenticity inspires me.

What lessons has your pup taught you?

adventure, creativity, decision-making, determination, integrity, work

Leap: Caution – Once You Find Your Path, You Must Take It

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

“Happiness is a choice… sometimes, a contagious one.” ~ Milkshake

On Thursday I had an interview for a wonderful job. A dream job for many. A year ago, maybe even just 6 months ago, I would have worked my tail off to land it and then willingly packed my bags to move myself 3,000 miles to take it. That was before I clarified that my dream work involves doing very cool trend and innovation research and then using that research to build things that are useful for the world.

This job is purely the research side, and I’ve been there before. It’s a great job; it’s just not a great job for me. I need tangible results that I can point to. I need contact with end-users. I need to know that I am spending my days in service to others.

Clarity is a beautiful and rare thing when it comes to our path in our careers. It takes years and years to get there. We long for it. We chase it down. We think that all of our problems will go away once we find it. I have not found that to be the case.

Finding our path can prove to be a giant pain in the ass because once we know it, way deep down in our gut, we can’t do anything else. We have to take it. All the other shining, beautiful opportunities of what we could do pale in comparison to what we know is our reason for being.

This job carried an incredibly handsome compensation package at a company with a great culture, working for a wonderful boss whom I respect and admire. But it’s not my work to do so I turned it down on the spot. I didn’t even have to think about it. I didn’t even hesitate to say it wasn’t for me. All the perks didn’t matter because I need to do the work I’m meant to do. That’s the only option.

If I took this job, I would have to put my teaching, writing, and consulting for good causes on hold. My personal life would disappear. It’s that kind of job – 24/7, nonstop, “jump this high now” type of work. I’ve grown too used to doing what I love, too used to finding complete joy in work. There’s no turning back now.

courage, integrity, yoga

Leap: The Real Problem with Yoga (and It’s a Wonderful Problem to Have)

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest member http://pinterest.com/adrianaclonts/

I went to an event yesterday and in all of the ending hoopla, the organizer asked everyone to join him in signing up for his new mission. To be entirely fair, I applaud people who put themselves out there and clearly explain who they are, what they care about, and what they intend to do. I wish more people were as transparent as this organizer.

That said, I didn’t sign. I actually left the event early. I was criticized a bit for it, but I didn’t mind. I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. While I respect the transparency of this organizer, we just aren’t on the same page. Our values don’t fall in line together so I know our roads will be taking different directions.

A few years ago, my former boss and mentor, Bob G., said something that I think about almost every day. “You always get to choose what bus you want to be on.” The problem with deeply studying yoga is that it leads us to deeply study ourselves – who we are when we strip away every title, every accomplishment (and failure), every relationship, every part of our history. Yoga is about knowing our true essence, about knowing the company we keep in the empty moments. And in this intense study, we find that we can only be true to our heart. We cannot be on a bus that we don’t want to ride. Our bodies and minds literally don’t allow it.

Yoga forces us to return to our true home, to the place where we belong in a very deep and meaningful way. We lose the ability to fake it. We lose the ability to lie, to ourselves and to anyone else. All we can do is live the truth, our truth. We can’t conform to someone else’s expectations. All we can do is live up to our own.

It’s a wonderful problem to have, but it’s not always the easiest path to walk. And instead of lamenting the difficulty, I encourage you to embrace it. Look in, way in, and see what’s there. Get on the path and walk it. It’s the only way forward.

career, integrity, SXSW, work

Beginning: Be on Record

Christa Avampato

At SXSW I had the great accidental pleasure of hearing Gary Vaynerchuk speak. To be honest, I had no idea who he was until SXSW. He was making an appearance at an event I went to early on at SXSW and I like the title of his new book, The Thank You Economy. During one time block at SXSW I wasn’t quite sure which session to go to and when I saw Gary was giving a keynote, I decided to go over and check it out. I didn’t know that I’d be in for such a treat of a stand-up comedy routine coupled with good sound business advice that I’ve been truly taking to heart for the past decade. Gary’s talk was a great validation of the way that I’ve approached having an opinion in the workplace: “Be on Record.”

Lessons from Broadway
When I was in my early 20’s, I was one of the first people hired to put together the Broadway show The Full Monty. There’s a lot of excitement around a new show; everyone is optimistic and the sky’s the limit. Immediately upon the Broadway opening, we started putting a tour together. Contrary to trends at the time, our booking agent was setting up 3-6 month sit downs in very large markets like LA, D.C., Philly, and Chicago. This made me nervous. I was a fan of doing shorter runs, selling them out, and then returning to the city at a later date to cash in on the first success. It’s a more conservative approach and I felt badly being a naysayer to the excitement of the tour beginnings so I became a no-sayer, meaning I shut my mouth and just went along with everyone else’s opinion to book the long engagements.

The situation goes south
As the tour got going, the long engagement idea was not going well. We couldn’t sell enough seats in Toronto, our first stop, so we had to schedule a few weeks of lay-off before heading to Chicago, our second city. During our run in Chicago, the September 11th tragedy struck and the bottom fell out of the theatre industry. The show was canceled and would not be sent out again until the following summer, with new producers and many of the actors, crew, and logistics switched up. And shorter engagements. While the producers cast the blame to the tragedy of September 11th, that was only an easy scapegoat. Truthfully, we couldn’t make the long stays work because we couldn’t sell enough tickets in advance of each city. The engagements needed to be shorter. I was right, and got no credit for my opinion because I didn’t say a word as the tour was being set up. I was just an employee following orders. At the ripe old age of 25 I learned a very valuable lesson that a decade later is more relevant in my life than ever. Being on record, even if my opinion isn’t shared by anyone else, is a valuable thing to do.

A second chance to learn a lesson
The Universe has a way of testing us. My friends Derek has said to me that the Universe is a very generous place – it gives us the same lesson over and over again until we learn it and don’t need to go through it any more. The Universe gave me another go this week when someone asked me to get the IP of a start-up I work with so that I could pass that IP on to a corporation that would build the exact same capability in-house and not need to pay the start-up for a partnership. I could have done it, lost my personal integrity, and been praised for a job well done. I didn’t. I went on record saying that I wouldn’t do that to the start-up who was working so hard to get a very good idea to take hold. They needed to be compensated for their IP. It didn’t win me any points with the powers that be, but I got to keep my integrity and sleep well at night.

And a third chance to make sure the lesson really sticks
Then the very next day I was asked to talk about a recent service that my company launched that I frankly find embarrassing. The customer experience is awful and it’s just a copycat of a service that one of our competitors has. For over a year I have been on record about how the service should have been fixed before being launched to the public. Either the feedback fell on deaf ears or they just disagreed with me. Regardless of the reason, when I read the analyst reports and blogs and was asked to comment on the launch at my staff meeting, I felt vindicated. The analysts and heavy-hitting blog writers said the same things I’ve been saying for over a year. I didn’t resort to a childish “I told you so” but felt that I could speak from a place of confidence because I have been on record with my opinions for many months. And again, I could also keep my integrity and sleep well at night.

The trade-offs of being on record
At the outset, it can be hard to be on record. It’s sometimes not a popular move. It can certainly stall your career at a company or get you fired if people in power don’t like your opinion. I’m okay with that. I’d rather be a person of conviction than a person who just says, “yes, sir” and falls in a line not of my own making. Mine is a more difficult road. Sometimes it’s lonely, and in the short-term it may not earn me a spectacular salary or a fancy title. However, when it’s all said and done I’d rather have to walk away having said my piece than get a seat at the table where everyone just nods in agreement. Integrity isn’t a trait; it’s a choice we make every day, at every moment.

care, courage, dreams, education, inspiration, integrity, story

Further Thoughts on MLK Day

Christa Avampato

This post is available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~ MLK via CharlesMBlow

Charles M. Blow is The New York Times’s visual Op-Ed columnist. His column appears every Saturday.

“Dr. King delivered the “I have a dream” speech at age 34 and lived only 39 years.” ~ via Drew Allen

I read these two tweets on Monday morning with so much gratitude and then so much awe for the person Dr. King was and the person that he asked all of us to be. He was the age I am now when he delivered the I Have a Dream speech and his life was cut far too short only 5 years later. Those two pieces of information weigh heavy on my heart, particularly when I consider how far we still have to go to create a more peaceful society where everyone, regardless of race, creed, gender, personal economics, or upbringing, can advance through hard work and determination.

Coincidentally I am now reading Condoleezza Rice’s book, Extraordinary, Ordinary People, which reminds me of how much hope we have in our society. While I don’t agree with her politics, the inspiration of her story can’t be denied. She grew up in pre-Civil Rights Birmingham and rose to be one of the most influential people in the world because of her hard-won education. She has a quote in the book that hit me like a ton of bricks because of the courage and passion it coveys. She says of her parents, “Somehow they raised their little girl in Jim Crow Birmingham to believe that even if she couldn’t have a hamburger at the Woolworth’s lunch counter, she could be President of the United States.”

I understand her fervent belief in education. I grew up in a family that didn’t have a lot of money but believed in education. I studied hard, worked hard, and pushed myself, sometimes far beyond my limits, because even at an early age I knew that my education would improve the quality of my life in the long run. That bet, that long, sometimes-difficult-to-believe-in bet, paid off. My education, and the will it took to get it, are two things that I am incredibly grateful for every day. I live a really good life as a result of my education. I like to share that story, particularly with children, through my volunteer work. It gives them some hope to meet a real life person who understands where they are and where they can get to by working hard.

In the spirit of Dr. King, we need to share our stories through every channel we’ve got. We must continue to talk about what’s important to us and what matters. And we must do so without ever really knowing how or when or why it will affect someone else. Martin Luther King Day reminds us why it is so important to speak our minds and then live accordingly – because it makes a difference.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.

career, corporation, hope, integrity, job, work

My Year of Hopefulness – Don’t Be Less

Christa Avampato

Just when I thought life at work couldn’t get much worse for my friend, John. Goodness….I couldn’t make this up. I don’t think the best fiction writer on the planet could make up the following story. My thanks to John for allowing me to share his experience with this blog’s readers:


On Thursday morning, John woke up at an ungodly hour to catch a flight for an all-day business meeting. He arrived back to the airport later that evening with his boss and found that their flight was delayed 3 hours. His boss thought she’d take the time to provide him with some feedback on his performance. Here’s the abbreviated laundry list that she expounded upon for 1.5 hours:

Too motivated
Communicates too well too often (Her quote to him, “Jesus, I’m not your texting buddy.” My advice to her – then stop replying for one thing, and don’t complain when you’re in the dark on details, which is true just about every day.)
Has too good a relationship with senior management (a.k.a., “I feel threatened that people like you so be less likable)
Too ambitious
Takes too much responsibility and ownership for work
Too collaborative with people outside of department

Ouch – I don’t even know where to begin on how pathetic and foolish this feedback is. Essentially John is supposed to be less of a person than he is because it makes others uncomfortable to be in the presence of someone who is talented and hardworking. This is gross – I’m so furious by these comments that I can barely speak. 

Being a pro, or numb from exhaustion, John took the entire conversation in stride and stood his ground, politely. His only response: “This is so odd. No other company that I have ever worked for, or even heard of,  tells its people to be less collaborative and less motivated.” And that’s it. He let it lie. Didn’t agree, didn’t really say much of anything. He was too shocked and confused. 

Here is my advice to John and anyone else in this situation: you are NOT to compromise your integrity. Ever. For any reason. You are not to be less of a person to make others feel better about themselves. Their laziness and lack of motivation is their problem, not yours, so don’t take it on, politics and “business as usual” be damned. Your job is to shine as brightly as you can and add value to the people and the environment around you. That is your only obligation, ever. Smile, hold your head up and be proud of yourself. And write down all the things you are and are not. Keep the list handy and refer to it often. 

If President Obama has taught us anything it is that the time for change has come. Throw off the yolk of being what to do when by people who want you feel less empowered so they can feel more powerful. The feudal system died out centuries ago and there is no chance of resurrection. This is the time of the individual, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.