Category: hope

career, fear, hope, theatre, work

My Year of Hopefulness – Stage Fright

Christa Avampato

Today, the theatre group joined, Temporary Shakespeare Company, had its first performance. We did a reading of Comedy of Errors for corporate employees at my company. All morning, I was reminded of how it felt to be on stage and why I didn’t pursue that avenue. I have horrible, horrible stage fright. Always. Without fail. 


Today, the stakes were even higher because I played a sorceress in front of people I work with, obviously in a very different capacity. Somehow, standing on that stage with all these other people taking the same risk made my stage fright dissipate. I didn’t shake, I didn’t feel sick to my stomach. We jumped off the cliff together. And the audience, our co-workers, caught us. 

And maybe that’s all it takes to make us let go of our fear, whether on stage or off: a group of people willing to let go of their fear, too.
career, hope, job, personality, work

My Year of Hopefulness – Change of Behavior

Christa Avampato

In my quest to cultivate more hope for myself and for others, I have recognized that there will be set-backs and that those set-backs will create opportunities for learning and reflecting. I had one of those moments today. Or rather, a friend of mine relayed a story to me that set my hope back a bit. 


John, my graphic design friend, deals with a tough work situation. Right before Christmas, he was really in dire straights. He was very discouraged by an abusive and unappreciative boss, and given the economy his prospects for leaving are bleak. To his surprise when he returned after the holiday break, his boss was different. Kinder, more appreciative, more team-oriented. For a week and a half. And today his boss flipped the switch. 

For a week and half, John was more hopeful about his job. Maybe things would be looking up for him and his team. And then it all unraveled and John felt like it was December 18, 2008 all over again. 

The lesson here is that no behavior change, positive, negative, or indifferent, is immediate. No one comes back to any situation with a completely new attitude. Behavioral changes take time and patience and practice. In all likelihood, John’s boss’s behavior is not going to change overnight, or over Christmas for that matter. I only had one piece of advice for him: take the long view. 

For him, this is a stable job in a tough economy and it’s a good resume and portfolio-builder. This tough time will pass and we will be better people for persevering. At least that’s what I tell myself – it’s what I have to tell myself. Sometimes hope, unbridled, unreasonable, unreliable hope, can be the only thing we have. And sometimes, that’s enough. It has to be enough because it’s all we’ve got.  
apartment, hope, housing, New York City, real estate, rent

My Year of Hopefulness – An Affordable New York City

Christa Avampato

My pot-smoking neighbor is back in full-force. Gross. I have opened up my front hall closet two days in a row to a waft of marijuana. So, I sent my landlord a very nice email explaining that problem was occurring again and that I may consider finding a new apartment. He swears that he has spoken to her again and that the problem will not happen again. Still, I am skeptical so I decided to take a look around the neighborhood and see what’s available. 

First, I discovered that I am overpaying for my studio. I signed the two year lease at the height of the market in the summer of 2007 and I needed to live in my neighborhood to park my car on the street and make my commute as easy as possible. Now, a year and a half later, times have changed. Rents have dropped dramatically, even in my ritzy neighborhood. I can get a place twice as large as my current apartment for less money. Amazing!
And there is availability everywhere with free months of rent promos, waived fees, and apartments held with no extra cost. The New York City rental market may actually morph to be like rental markets in other cities. That is to say it could actually become reasonable!
Now this is cause for much rejoicing and much hope. Yes, we’ll get to save a bit more money but the exciting piece for me is that New York City has the great potential to save its edge. For years now students, writers, artists, musicians, activists, and entrepreneurs – people who make our world an interesting place to live – have been driven out of the city by rents that are too high. You have to have an MBA, or be a doctor or lawyer to afford a place in a decent neighborhood. It’s crazy! With these lower rents, a more diverse population will be able to afford a wider variety of neighborhoods. And we will all be the benefactors of that diversity.
Just when I thought all was lost and that I’d never be able to afford to buy in New York, I’m realizing now that eventually it might be possible. That alone is a great reason for hope. 
charity, family, hope, time, volunteer

My Year of Hopefulness – Dress for Success

Christa Avampato

My mom keeps everything, and I mean EVERYTHING! She has magazine that are older than I am. It drives me nuts, though I there’s also something endearing about it. She feels comfortable surrounded by her things. And in these times, who among us couldn’t use a little more comfort?

It was with great surprise that my mom emailed me yesterday and asked for a name of an agency that donates business clothes to women who are looking to get jobs in offices though cannot afford appropriate clothing. In some ways, it pains my mom to give away her things and here she is finding a way to make that task less painful by giving away extra clothes to people who need it most. I pointed her to Dress for Success.

I was thinking about this and considering this lesson in my own life. I enjoy waking up early, though I don’t enjoy having early morning obligations. However, I’m so excited to volunteer with God’s Love We Deliver that I’m willing to be there at 6:30am once a week. What better use could I have for any early morning that packing up meals for people who are in need of them?

It’s a good lesson for me to consider. We all have things we don’t necessarily like to do, though they may be necessary to do them. The trick is figuring out how to do them in a way that gives joy rather than in a way that causes discomfort.

hope, relationships, work

My Year of Hopefulness – A Change of Self and Not a Change of Scene

Christa Avampato

I was speaking to a friend of mine tonight about how difficult it can be to get our head back in the game of work after the holidays. I’ll admit that I felt a tiny pang of dread this morning when my alarm went off this morning. Some people say they never know what they’d do with themselves if they retired. I’m not one of those people. I can happily fill any day with activities I love sans work. 


My friend had the same feeling this morning, wishing that she could turn off the alarm and happily snuggle back under the covers to sleep a bit more. No such luck. So with one heavy foot in front of the other she got onto the subway and made her way downtown to work, like so many of us this morning. She was pleasantly surprised to find that EVERYONE at work was cheerful and pleasant. All traces of stress and grumpiness that descended on her off right before Christmas had dissipated. It was the same office space with a whole new collective attitude. 

It’s possible, even in bleak times, to change our scene by changing ourselves. By choosing to look up while also reaching down. We can take other people with us into a new attitude. It’s not easy work. Changing the way we look at a situation or at a person, even if that person has caused us some kind of grief in the past, can work wonders to move us forward. Extend your heart and mind toward the sentiment that brings more comfort to your daily life and you will be amazed by the feeling of well-being that you’ll find.   
books, clarity, culture, hope, meditation

My Year of Hopefulness – Law of Attraction

Christa Avampato

I love getting daily quotes, thoughts, intentions, etc. into my inbox. I’m a loyal e-newsletter subscriber. My friend, Ken, turned me on to one put together every day by a duo that offers workshops based on ideas behind The Secret. I’m not into going to workshops, though I’m enjoying the daily quotes. 


Ken reads the daily quote first thing in the morning and then when he gets home at the end of the day. He meditates on the sentiments and meaning offered in each, and tries to be mindful of it throughout the day. I’m not saying that this is a magic potion, though it does make me feel better to read these ideas and consider them in my daily life. At this point, positive reflection on our current situation may be the best remedy. It’s a technique worth trying. You can sign up for the daily quote emails at http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php

As a sample of what’s typically on offer, here is the daily quote from today:
“You are on the leading edge of thought, taking thought beyond that which it has been before. Who cares what thoughts have led up to this. You’re standing in the fresh now, and many of the thoughts that you vehemently oppose are the very thoughts that have given you the desire that has attracted the clarity of where you now stand. No matter how awful you think they might be, all were of value in the evolution forward. Every one of them.

Excerpted from a workshop in Philadelphia, PA on Tuesday, April 14th, 1998

Our Love, 
Jerry and Esther”

career, economy, entrepreneurship, hope, Obama, work

Dreamers and Doers

Christa Avampato

Big companies are announcing layoffs right and left, and those who do keep their jobs are being asked to do evermore work without any pay increase, bonus, or title promotion. We have felt very secure at big companies because in large part they have taken good care of their people and rewarded loyalty. With this latest downturn, we are seeing people with 10+ years of service turned out, replaced by younger and less expensive employees. The game has changed.


Here is the reason for hope in all of this economic mess. Maybe, finally, people will begin working very hard for themselves and not for these large companies. Perhaps we will begin to place more trust and faith in ourselves than we do in these behemoth organizations. One observation my former boss, Bob, made about a year ago is that the difference between generations these days is that young people, by and large, will bet on themselves rather than bet on a corporation to make their careers. 

In today’s New York Times there is an article entitled “Dreamers and Doers” that discusses entrepreneurship programs and classes on college campuses. They have experienced double digit growth in the past few years, and some colleges like Babson have become known for their entrepreneurship programs.

It is my greatest wish for the economy of 2009 that all of this corporate downsizing sparks a surge in entrepreneurship and innovation by small companies. Will giant corporations that have long dominated the business landscape go the way of the dinosaurs? Maybe. Think of all the talented, capable, well-educated people that are now being laid off. If they banded together to create something new, leaving behind the saddle of corporate politics and bureaucracy, couldn’t they be more productive? 

Supporting small business may be President Obama’s shortest road to economic recovery, and we would all be better off for it.   
friendship, grateful, gratitude, hope

My Year of Hopefulness – my friend, Ken

Christa Avampato

One way I feel more hopeful is by spending more quality time with people I love. Last year I spent a lot of time dashing from one place to the next, squeezing this task in here and that task in there. It’s exhausting. So I’m taking more time out this year for individuals and enjoying the time I have with them rather than watching the clock when I’m with them. 


To this end, I took the bus out to the Poconos to visit my friend, Ken, one of my nearest and dearest. Just being around him lifts up my spirit. He had a rough year in 2008, and what amazes me about him is that he doesn’t resent anything that he’s lost. He is much more grateful for having ever had those things and people in his life at all. It’s a good lesson for me, for all of us. Resentment and regret gets us nowhere. Gratefulness brings us joy, and ultimately more to be grateful for.  

business, career, happiness, hope, Marcus Buckingham, Oprah, strengths, talents, work

My Year of Hopefulness – Marcus Buckingham Workshop Session 1: Introduction

Christa Avampato

I’ve previously written about Marcus Buckingham on this blog – his writing has been very influential on the way I live my life and build my career. He is a career guru and has dedicated his life to helping people live their best lives. Oprah recently featured him on one of her shows. He did a three-hour workshop with a group of women who want to improve their lives from a career standpoint. These women felt overwhelmed, anxious, off balance, and sometimes very unhappy with their jobs.


As a gift to viewers who want to live their best lives in 2009, Marcus Buckingham and Oprah filmed the entire three hours session, broke it down into 8 different classes, and put all of them on-line for free with resources and class materials. You can download them to your ipod, watch them, or listen to them on your computer. It’s as if you are sitting in a classroom with one of the most world-renowned thinkers on living a strengths-based life. And it’s incredible. 

I just completed session 1 – The Introduction with two of my friends, John and Ellen. Three basic question for everyone in the class: What is your name? What are you paid to do? Why are you here? As part of this blog, I will detail what I’m thinking, experiencing, and feeling in each one of these classes and John and Ellen have agreed to allow me to share the specifics of their situations on this blog. 

To take the class, please visit the link on Oprah’s website: http://www.oprah.com/package/money/career/pkgmarcus/20080401_orig_marcusbuckingham

Here is my own mini-class that will be featured on this blog:
Name: Christa
Paid to do?: Product Development
Here because?: My day is filled with lots of tasks I don’t want to do

Name: John
Paid to do?: Graphic Design
Here because?: Feels like he is wasting time with a company that has no advancement opportunities. Job is mostly executional, not strategic. Culture is siloed and not collaborative. A lot of in-fighting at his current firm. Many people don’t want the responsibility of making decisions, but want credit when something goes right. 

Name: Ellen
Paid to do?: Nonprofit fundraiser
Here because?: Doesn’t feel that her current company is creative, innovative, or motivated to improve. Decision-making processes in the organization are very slow and misguided. Her opinions are not listened to by her boss. She works with great people, though is not enjoying working for her boss as there is very little mentorship. 

Once a week, I will be sharing our stories as we continue through the remaining sessions of this class with Marcus Buckingham. If you decide to take it and would like to share your thoughts on the classes, I’d love to have you comment on this blog! Here’s to living our best lives in 2009!
care, career, friendship, holiday, hope

My Year of Hopefulness – Make Something That Matters

Christa Avampato

My friend, Monika, hosted three of us for dinner at her place last night. I can say with certainty that it was the nicest New Year’s Eve I’ve ever spent. Low-key, relaxed, with good friends, good food, and good wine. Though we just turned the page one more day, just like we have ever other day of the year, it did feel different this year. I did feel myself shrug off some sadness, some disappointment, even some anger. As I walked to the subway last night with my friend, Brandi, I was glad to hear I was not alone is feeling of heavy disappointment about the world. 


And then I read Seth Godin’s blog post this morning. Apparently, he hates New Year’s though he seems to have changed his tune this year, too. He sees a tremendous opportunity this year and I wonder how many of us will rise to the challenge he’s laid before us: “The opportunity this year is bigger than ever: to lead change, to create a movement in a direction you want to go. While the rest of your world huddles and holds back, here’s a golden chance to use cheap media, available attention, and great talent to make something that matters.”    

To that end, I wanted to share a resource given to me by my friend, Linda. Linda is on the board of the Black Culinary Association (BCA), a nonprofit that supports racial minorities entering the culinary world. Linda found BCA after registering her profile on boardnetusa.org, an on-line community that matches up boards seeking members with individuals interested in serving on nonprofit boards. If you’d like to take up Seth Godin’s challenge, this resource is a wonderful place to begin your journey. 
 
I’m home today cleaning my apartment to start the New Year off right. I was dusting my bookshelves a few hours ago and came across my copy of Oh, the Places You’ll Go. While a little bit cliched at this point, there are a few lines where I always get choked up. It’s possible I take our dear friend, Dr. Seuss, too literally. It’s also possible that I am a giant sap. “Your mountain is waiting so….get on your way!” always has some special meaning for me. I’ve been searching for my mountain for a long time now, and while I’ve climbed a few peaks, looked out over a few vistas, and none of them have been my peaks. I simply borrowed them from someone else for a while, did some good while I was there, and then had to move on. 

In 2009, I’d like to find my mountain, make something that matters. If you’ve found yours, know that I am insanely jealous and excited for you all at once. It must be a remarkable feeling. If you’re like me, still searching, then I hope that 2009 will be your year of great discovery, too.