You choose: tear yourself down or build yourself up. It’s not about what happens to you; it’s about what you make happen.
Category: friendship
Inspired: The People in My Life
These are the people in my life who matter the most:
Inspired: Be Your Own Hero
A friend of mine recently ripped off my work and presented it as her own. I didn’t realize she’d done this until I read about it in a magazine. I didn’t wallow. I just walked away and left it in karma’s capable hands. Here is the greatest lesson I learned: grace and dignity are choices. Sh*t is going to happen to you. The sh*t isn’t what defines you. It’s how you handle it that makes all the difference. Turn the beat around.
Beautiful: Gone Exploring…
I’m off to DC this weekend to celebrate the upcoming wedding of one of my dearest friends with a bridal shower and bachelorette party. It will be nice to get away from my screens and spend the vast majority of my time connecting in real-time in real-life. I hope this weekend holds the same for all of you. Get out there and enjoy some fresh air. Fall is almost here.
Beautiful: Wait or Act? How to Decide.
“I like things to happen. And if they don’t happen, I like to make them happen.” – Winston Churchill
The most striking outcome of my time in California is my decreased tolerance for waiting unnecessarily. Some times, we need patience. We need to take a beat, a breath, a moment. A gathering storm needs to pass. We need to deal with a new emergency. But patience can be used like a crutch. We wait because it seems less scary than action.
So how can we tell if it’s time to wait or time to act? Remove ourselves from the decision. Imagine that a friend is asking for your advice on the exact situation you’re in. This friend is strong, capable, ambitious, and talented. She will succeed or learn trying. Should she act? Should she wait? That’s your answer.
Almost always I find my answer is to act. Try this experiment. Let me know how it goes.
Beautiful: Shower Inspiration, Old Friends, TEDxCharlottesville, and the Theatre – a Story of Change
What is it about the shower that induces creativity and the ability to connect disparate dots of information that are percolating in our cerebral cortex? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I’m glad a shower does more than just wash away the dirt and grime of the day.
In the shower on Monday morning, I was kicking around the following challenges:
1.) What could I say to an old friend that would be helpful?
2.) What could I speak about at TEDxCharlottesville?
3.) How can I resolve the latest plot twist that showed up on the page of my play?
4.) Why are all these questions rising up at once?
On Monday morning, I had an unexpected message from an old friend whom I haven’t seen in many years but whom I had some great times with in college. Though we haven’t seen each other in a long time, he’s one of those people whom I always hope is well and happy. He’s contemplating a big change in his life and after following my shenanigans and adventures on Facebook, he wanted to know how I took the first steps out of corporate life and into a life of authentic and passionate work.
His email was so beautiful and heartfelt that I responded to him right away, and in the process I realized I was outlining the book I’ve been trying to write for years through my blog. In each line of my response, one more piece fell into place. More odd life event after another fit together. I think I literally heard the sound “thoomp” as it all converged. And the best part is that I think this collection of pieces will be abundantly helpful to so many people coping with or hoping to instigate personal and professional change.
Simultaneously, I have also been wrestling with an application for TEDxCharlottesville. My friend, Alex, told me that a local TED event was going to be held this Fall in the beautiful city where we spent our graduate school years. Our Ethics Professor, Ed Freeman, is slated to speak. I’ve done a handful of speaking engagement over the last few years at places like SXSW, and I’m interested in doing more of them. I’m particularly interested in speaking to people who want to make the same leap I did into careers that make a difference in the world. With the theme of “The Difference that Makes a Difference”, I’ve been thinking about the exact topic that I’d like to submit for their consideration.
I put this conundrum aside and kept working on my first full-length play. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on dramatic structure, character development, and plot development. My friend, Trevin, has been coaching me through this process and his advice has been invaluable. The wheels of a story over a decade in the making have started to move with a lot less effort than in the past.
And then the shower worked its magic. It washed the shampoo out of my hair, cleared my thoughts, and I saw that all of these questions were actually the same question. It’s all about change. My friend is contemplating how to make a leap into the work he loves. The difference that makes a difference is understanding the mechanics of change and using those mechanics to build the world we want to live in. Over 2,000 years ago, Aristotle gave us the elements of dramatic structure. In short, that dramatic structure is a roadmap for navigating change, both personal and societal.
Theatre is life, life is theatre.
Beautiful: I’m Writing a Play
This summer I’m taking my first shot at writing a full-length play. It’s challenging, heartfelt work based on a story that’s been rattling around in my mind for over a decade. I’m not sure what I’d do without my friend, Trevin, who has supported the idea since I first mentioned it to him earlier this year and has read the very first words formally put to page. In a 30 minute FB chat, I learned more about playwriting from him than I did in an 8-hour playwriting intensive class that I took a few months ago.
By the end of my time in LA, I plan to have a completed first draft and new insights into my own life and skills as a writer. Already, I’ve learned so much in this process and I’m only one scene into the play. We have to keep challenging ourselves in our craft, whatever our craft is. We have to push our boundaries. And we have to ask for help from those who are able to support and guide us in our new endeavors. Whatever the outcome of this play, writing it alone will make me a better person. And that’s what art is all about – it’s a means to improve ourselves from the inside out.
Beautiful: The People in My Life
Life’s too short. Period. We’ve got a tiny window to soak up everything this world has to offer and then find a way to give something back to make it a better place than we found it. The trick to really having an impact of goodness? Surround yourself with people who believe in love and compassion and kindness just as much as we do.
Ditch the energy vampires, the negative naysayers, and the people who care more about what they have than who they are.
Find and keep the dreamers, doers, believers, and thinkers close. They will support and sustain you no matter what circumstances life throws your way. Life can be a tough haul from time to time. The people in our lives make that haul easier to bear.
Beautiful: Bliss Opens Doors
“When you follow your bliss… doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.” ~ Joseph Campbell via my friend, Marita
My beautiful friend, Marita, sent me this quote to help me along my summer of discovery. We worry so much that we won’t be able to create the lives we want or find the opportunities we seek. There’s so much competition. How will we ever be able to stack up against so many others who have the same dream?
The truth is that the road to those opportunities is already available. It’s waiting for us to hop on the path, the path that is made just for us and aligns with our deepest desires. The secret to finding the road is to tap in, to get really clear on what brings us joy, and then choose it. Thank you, Marita, for this needed and appreciated reminder.
Beautiful: Find the Magic in Others
This picture reminds me of fireflies, those glorious heralds of summertime. I grew up in a rural area and during the summer, fireflies were everywhere. Even now I still find them comforting, with their bright behinds that help them perform their “now you see me, now you don’t” routine. They remind me that magic is everywhere, even in the most unlikely of places, even though we can’t see it all the time.
Just like this photo shows, the magic is most often found in the people around us. If ever you need to see its glimmer, look your friends and family in the eyes. Listen to their dreams. Know their hearts. That’s all the magic you’ll ever need to inspire your own pursuits.
Christa Avampato 