I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
I believe in the indomitable spirit of the mind. It is incredible how perspective and point-of-view literally change everything. Our image of the world is fragile. It can, and often does, change on a dime.
Difficult things happen to all of us. Joyful things happen to all of us. But how we see and think about those things determines our true experience. Our lives are determined by how we believe them to be, and that belief is in your control. Change your mind, and you change everything.
Yesterday, I gave myself the gift of a 30-minute meditation. I needed to shift my energy and state of mind in a big way. I also needed to release a lot of emotions that I didn’t want to carry around with me and I wanted to send more healing energy to Phin. I was chatting with my friend, Mary, and she asked what time I planned to meditate so that she, her wonderful husband, Tom, and their sweet kitty, Jamie, could join me and Phin. I’m in Florida. They’re in the Boston area.
I never long-distance meditated before yesterday, though I now want to make it a regular part of my life. I could literally feel their energy flowing through me and Phin, and I was able to send that goodness back to them. I also strongly felt supported and cared for. As it turns out, Mary actively sent that feeling to me in many forms. Just knowing they were out there and that we were in this practice together made my meditation much richer, and more powerful. When I compared notes with Mary later, we actually had some identical insights rise up with regards to my future. That synchronicity amazed and inspired me. Even Phin and Jamie connected by ending the meditation asleep with their faces resting on their paws in the same way.
I feel so lucky to have had Mary, Tom, and Jamie with usĀ in spirit during this stressful time. Their light, energy, and strength made it down the Eastern seaboard and I’m so grateful for that. United in distance. As Mary said to me, “All will be well.” And so it is.
John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars, also runs a web series called Crash Course with his brother, Hank. In a series ofĀ 10-15 minute YouTube videos, John teaches humanities and Hank teaches science. My brother-in-law, Kyle, introduced Crash Course to me and I’m addicted. While I’mĀ completely in love with the content and hosts, I’m even crazier about the tagline at the end of each one: “Don’t forget to be awesome” or #DFTBA for those in the know. Write it down and post it up all over your home. This is a mantra we all need to adopt and recite.
Feeling overwhelmed? Here’s an idea that might help: whenever life is grinding me down, I remind myself that a diamond is made brilliant in the same way. Your moment to shine is on the way.
There is unmapped territory in all of us. This week Facebook is giving you the option to review your biggest moments of the past year. Almost all of mine revolve around writing. I was surprised by this because I didn’t decide to write full-time until the end of the summer. The desire to pursue it was there all along, and I had a lot of support to take it, but it took me most of the year to decide to make the jump. It’s funny how we can so clearly be on a path and not see it until we’re ready.
This reminds me that we don’t always know exactly what our journey is nor where it will lead. Sometimes we can only see what’s immediately in front of us. It takes a while for things to become clear and to increase our visibility down the road to our future. Some of our talents and gifts lie hidden until they’re needed. The only way to find them is to keep living – fully, deeply, and freely. Don’t worry about how you’re going to get somewhere or how you’re going to do something. Just decide to figure it out. You’ll learn what you need to learn to make it happen.
There is no reason to shrink from opportunity. Too often when we are faced with unfamiliar and uncomfortable challenges, we hang our heads low with self-doubt. We second guess our abilities and our judgement. We worry that we may not be up to the task at hand.
My advice is to chuck that attitude out the window. Immediately. Right now. You will gain nothing by turning away and you will lose so much in the process – new skills, new contacts, growth, strength, resilience, and the opportunities that will unfold as a result of taking this new and uncertain path.
If you truly don’t want the opportunity, then I advise running in the other direction as fast as possible. There is no point in wasting precious time doing something you don’t care to do. But don’t run away out of fear. Don’t turn your back because that pesky voice of self-doubt says you aren’t good enough, smart enough, experienced enough, nor capable enough to pull this off. That pesky voice knows nothing.
You are enough, and then some.
Feedback is everywhere. Everyone will offer up their advice, unsolicited or otherwise, on every aspect of your life. It can be incredibly helpful to collect these critiques and opinions. It can also be downright dangerous and soul-crushing. So what’s a thoughtful, sensitive, eager-to-always-improve person to do with all these opinions? Keep what bolsters you up and throw away the rest.
This doesn’t mean that we should ignore feedback that gives us ideas for places we can improve; it just means we should only take feedback that’s clear and constructive. Recently I got feedback that praised my enthusiasm, then in the next breath said I should consider being less enthusiastic so I appear more grounded, and then in the next breath said I was really grounded. Huh?! I thanked the person for their feedback and then left it right there where I found it.
I’m all for feedback because I’m such a huge fan of continuous improvement. However, the only feedback that helps us improve is feedback that’s clear, concise, and given with a sense of support. If those 3 criteria aren’t met, do yourself a favor – accept it with grace, push it aside, and move on. Focus your energies on doing the work you’re meant to do with all the magnificence that is you.
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me … Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ~ Shel Silverstein from Where The Sidewalk Ends via Dailygood
My friends Leah and Peter are having their first baby in January. (That lucky little one has two of the most amazing people in the world as parents!) I recently went to their baby shower and instead of a card we were asked to bring books to get their baby’s library started. I went to the bookstore near my office and by the end of it found myself with not a book but a stack of books after a solid hour in the children’s book section. (I finally settled on Goodnight, Moon and several Dr. Seuss books for Leah and Peter.)
I find this genre incredibly inspiring because it reminds me of a time when I fully believed that anything was possible – I could be an astronaut, a paleontologist (which was my childhood occupation of choice), or a brain surgeon. I could travel the world, live on top of a cloud, or discover an underwater civilization. There were no boundaries and books were my way of traveling across the universe. They still are.
Shel Silverstein remains one of my favorites for his optimism and eternal belief that we all have something to give. As we turn the page to 2012 and I turn much more of my attention to the work my life was meant for, his words will be comforting in the low moments and encouraging as I make my way up this “great big hill of hope.” And isn’t that what all our best adventures come down to – pushing on and pushing through despite all the mustnt’s,Ā don’ts, shouldn’ts, impossibles, won’ts, and never haves? We have to continue to have faith in the idea that anything, absolutely anything, can be if it’s what we truly want and what the world truly needs.
Those words – push through, push through – will be ringing in my mind over and over again every step of the way in 2012.
I spent the Thanksgiving holidays in Florida, and got a lot of time with my 4-year old niece, Lorelei. She likes to play the game I call “Touch the Ceiling” where she asks me to reach way up on my tip-toes and then jump to see if I can touch the ceiling. I’m 5’2″ and the ceilings in my niece’s house are at least 10 feet if not more. My vertical is decent but it’s not that good.
I laughed the first time she asked me to do that and told her that I couldn’t touch the ceiling because I was too short. “Well, you could always try,” she said to me. This back and forth happened multiple times over the holidays. Lorelei would ask me to do something like figure out how to fly up into the sky, put both feet behind my head, and open up a seemingly un-openable bottle cap. Each time I would say I didn’t think I could do it, and each time she would tell me I could try. And she was right – we have nothing to lose by trying.
After this exchange happened a few times, Lorelei got me thinking about all of the times I say to myself, “Oh, I just don’t think this is going to work.” And then I remember her wise and wonderful counsel – give it a go and maybe I’ll surprise myself. And what’s the worse that will happen? I won’t make it, and that’s okay, too. At least I gave it a shot. Failure isn’t as bad a we make it out to be.Ā
I have a sneaking suspicion that this advice will serve me well in the new year. I hope it helps you, too.
(Thanks to Yoga Freedom’s prompt yesterday through Reverb11. The question “What lesson or piece of wisdom did you learn from a child this year? Did it surprise you?” inspired this post. And thanks to Jeffrey Davis for suggesting that I participate in Reverb11 through Yoga Freedom. So glad I took that advice!)
As an efficiency fanatic, I am constantly looking for ways to do more with less. In this season of gift giving, this proverb reminded me that we can do more with what we’ve already got. Keep this in mind as you consider what goes into your cart this holiday season. We have more resources that we think we have.
“Chop your own wood and it warms you twice.”
~ Chinese Proverb
(it also gives you a workout!)
Christa Avampato 