Big dreams inspire and terrify, usually at the same time. I often look at where I want to go from where I am, and all that runs through my mind is, “Well how the hell am I going to get up there?” I search around the base of the vertical mountain and eventually I find a foothold. It’s small, but solid, so there’s my first step. From that slightly elevated view, I find another small place to grip and pull myself one inch higher. This is how the journey of every big dream goes: many small bits of progress taken one at a time. The key is to get started right now and not give up. Concentrate on each small win and the greater journey will take shape in its own way and in its own time. In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.”
Yesterday I was offered the largest consulting contract of my career. I turned it down because it’s not the work I want to do anymore. Was that the right choice? Definitely. Did it hurt to let it go? Absolutely. I was referred by a former client to organize the annual meeting of a private equity firm. I could have played that role and done the work with no problem, but I’m committed to writing full-time and that gig would take me away from my dream. This is the tough work of commitment, the work no one tells us about. Focus and commitment are not a one and done deal. They requirement constant vigilance; temptation to veer off-course is everywhere. The opportunities you don’t take will be scooped up by other people who want and need them. Do your work. Walk your road.
Sometimes the universe tests your commitment before it decides to back you. It’ll bet on you only after you bet on yourself.
I had just finished a call with my friend, Sheldon, about my decision to carve my own career path when an email popped into my inbox. The startup that offered me a job that I declined emailed me with a new offer that is exactly the role I asked for during the interview process. After I turned down the previous offer, I made the decision to build my own dreams rather build someone else’s. This offer tested my resolve. Without batting an eye, I thanked the startup and told them about my choice to double down on my own ideas and projects. The gut always knows and for the first time, I listened to it unequivocally.
Clarity about our own abilities and the value of our time radically simplifies our decision process. I know the road ahead of me will be rocky. There will be bumps, bangs, and bruises, and I will learn from every single one of them. I’ll be stronger, braver, and more capable for taking this path. I know that my future is safest in my own two hands. Yours is, too. Believe it. Your time is finite; your potential isn’t. Bet on you.
Tomorrow marks two important milestones: the opening night of Sing After Storms and my two-year anniversary of starting my company, Chasing Down the Muse. If someone had told me two years ago that June 18th my first original play would open in New York City with the talented team that’s on board, I would have laughed myself silly. When we take a chance, a really big chance, amazing things can happen. It’s all possible: yes, we can sing after storms, and yes, we can chase down the muse. First, we must have the courage to begin. Then, it’s a matter of daily dedication and effort.
Whenever I’m having an awful day—and I have had quite a healthy share of them in my life—the only thing that gets me through is this thought: I survived them all. Sometimes just barely (literally). I’ve lost a lot. They left a lot of pain and deep scars in their wake. Some you can see and some you can’t. Some took be down, way down, though none of them kept me down for long. The same is true for you. You’re here. You made it. And you’ll make it through the next tough day, too. That’s just how we roll.
I want you to get angry, and don’t wallow in it. Use it. Anger is energy and it’s fueled incredible changes: the Civil Rights Movement, women’s suffrage, gay marriage, and every nonprofit with a passionate mission. Some of the very best things I’ve ever done in my life started because I was angry – Compass Yoga, Sing After Storms, Chasing Down the Muse, my education. Anger builds fire and fire transforms everything around it. Let it motivate and inspire you to build a better world.
I don’t ever feel like I’m lacking anything, though that doesn’t prevent me from working hard to achieve something more. This duality is possible, just as it’s possible to be at peace internally when there is much disruption in our external world. We stand on the edge of effort and ease, fully immersed in both. It’s one of the most amazing aspects of being human – to embrace all that we are, all at once.
Leo laughing in the face of adversity, on-screen and off
I thought Leonardo DiCaprio had some sort of magic Hollywood wand that makes everything he touches turn to gold. I was completely wrong. Even with his passion and commitment, it took Leo 7 years to get The Wolf of Wall Street made. Like Matthew McConaughey and Dallas Buyers Club (who incidentally is also in The Wolf of Wall Street), Leo refused to give up on the film and chipped away at Hollywood until he lined up the right partners and the right funding. In our own creative pursuits, we sometimes struggle to get something to go in the direction we want it to take. We grease the skids of our own imaginations over and over again without much movement. It’s often akin to getting a car parked on ice to move. Don’t let the hard work and slow progress deter you. Keep at it knowing you’re in good company. Eventually, the ice relents (or melts) and we’re on our way.
It’s easy to get caught up in someone else’s dreams. Our paths cross, we see how we can be useful and helpful, and before we know it we’re spending a disproportionate amount of time making someone else’s dream happen. This is especially true if you have clients for your business or if you work a day job that funds your dream. It’s so easy to take our eyes off our prize because someone else’s prize isn’t so bad to look at. I have to be very careful of this because I like to be helpful and useful. I’ve had so many people who have helped me and I want to constantly pay that kindness forward.
That’s why very clear statements of work, project goals, and timeframes are so important for me to have with my clients. I’ve been asked by a number of them to join them full-time and though flattered, honored, and humbled by the offers, I politely and professionally refuse. I feel very lucky to have a number of repeat clients, and I have to remind myself why I’m doing this: to help others along while I’m working on my personal writing and original content goals.
As you carve your own path, you’ll be tempted, too, because carving our own paths is very hard work. Day in and day out. There is so break from it. We chip away one tiny piece at a time, brick by brick, we build our dreams. It’s understandable to jump to someone else’s dream that feels easier to build up because honestly, it is easier. But I promise you it’s not as fulfilling. Road building it tough work and it feels amazing, the way a tough workout leaves you with a runner’s high. I combat the tired feeling by regularly taking time to step back and look at what I’ve done. I’ve got a long way to go, and I feel very motivated when I see how far I’ve already come. It gives me the energy and the drive to keep going.
Russell Wilson, the quarterback for the champion Seattle Seahawks, was told he wasn’t tall enough, fast enough, talented enough, nor capable enough to play professional football. The people who told him that are feeling pretty foolish right now that he is basking in the glow of his Super Bowl win only two years after he joined the NFL. There are a lot of things we could learn from him and the most important lesson is this: You. Are. Enough. No matter what you want to do, where you want to go, or who you want to be, know that everything you want is within your grasp. You just need to work like hell and reach for it. Get after it!
Christa Avampato 