“You only age when your regrets outnumber your fears.” ~John Barrymore
When we talk about aging in our society, and how to fend off its physical effects, the discussion often turns to diet, exercise, healthcare, and beauty products. I’ve found the best way to lessen the impacts of aging has nothing to do with anything physical. It’s about choices. Are we making the decisions that make us happy and help us feel fulfilled? Are we having fun, enjoying our time, and doing what we love? Our choices have just as much impact on our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing as anything else. So let’s make the choice to leap through fearĀ and go after the lives we really want.
Yesterday I watched a documentary about Saturday Night Live in the 1980s. The show struggled so much after its first five golden years. It lost a lot of its people, its mission, and its way. And it wasn’t a matter of finding it again. A very small group of people, some original and some new, scrapped the entire format and started over from scratch. Brave, and frightening. Just like life.
Many of the cast membersāBilly Crystal, Kevin Nealon, Dana Carvey, Julia Louis-Dreyfusātalked about not unpacking their bags. They all had month-to-month leases and were never really sure if they’d made it. Even when things were going very well, they were always on edge. In so many of those old sketches and outtakes, I could see the nerves, spontaneity, and spark.
It got me thinking that as much as we are creatures of comfort, habit, and routine, maybe we do our best work when we don’t have any of those things. Maybe those nerves that keep us on our edge give us our edge. We shouldn’t be looking for comfort at all. What we need to do our best, most creative work is a manageable dose of anxiety and fear. Our magic is not is doing the work we know we can do, but in biting of more than we can chew, in taking on precisely the projects that are beyond our reach. We should go where we think we’ll fail. We rise when we have something to shoot for that seems impossible.
“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” ~Mark Twain
Perfection is a shiny object in the distance that’s rarely, if ever, achievable. I chased perfect for most of my life, and eventually its dance wore me out. I gave up on perfect, and have never looked back. Rather than racing around after it, I’ve learned to sit still and breathe. I learned to realize that what I have, right now, is perfect for this moment. I have everything I need right now to be healthy, happy, and whole. Nature’s not perfect so why do we expect to be?
These days I put my effort into steadily improving myself from the inside out rather than trying to be perfect. Every day, I try to be better than I was the day before. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s okay.
Life is messy and complicated. It’s full of magic and heartbreak. That’s just its nature. Things get torn down to make room for something new. Over and over again. And we don’t always know why. I’ve found that the real joy is in the bouncing back from hard times andĀ the gratitude we feel and show for the good times. Nothing’s permanent, so let’s enjoy what we’ve got right now.
“If you want to sleep more soundly, count blessings, not sheep.” ~Dr. Robert Emmons
I read this quote in a book recently and decided to give it a try.Ā Though this week was stressful, this nightly practice really did help me appreciate the good things that were happening right alongside the tough things. Despite the scare with Phin, I could stay focused on getting him the best care and appreciate my loving friends, the sunshine, the flowering trees, my comfy home, and all of the new adventures ahead of me.
It’s easy to let life weigh us down. Living is hard work. Living fully is even harder work. But we can do hard things. We can pick ourselves up and keep going and keep recognizing that while life is difficult, it’s also pretty amazing.
I took a spin around the Tidal Basin yesterday. I’ve been dreaming of the sight of those cherry blossoms for months and they’ve finally arrived. It’s impossible to resist them and their charm. Spring, my friends, has finally arrived inthe nation’s capital. Check out my Instagram feed, ChristaInTheCity, for my photos.
Marian Cannon Schlesinger is 101 years old and the ex-wife ofĀ Arthur Schlesinger Jr., historian and special advisor to President Kennedy. She’s also my new idol.
“She’s still painting, writing, watching Rachel Maddow, and reading two newspapers a day,” said The Atlantic in a recent interview with her. What struck me most about the interview was her advice to free-spirited women: “Do your thing no matter what…Early on I decided being a painter was what I wanted to be but I wanted to be a lot of other things too. I wanted to write…play tennis…have a lot of friends [and] beaus. I think I’ve been very lucky. But I think that I’ve made some of it for myself. I never gave up. I wanted it all, in other words, and I think I really almost got it all too…Just keep going.”
“Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.” ~Leo Burnett
If there’s one attribute I’d like to see held up above all others in our society, and especially in our schools, I would have to say curiosity. It’s where every exploration, internal and external, begins. It’s a trait that never goes out of style and I believe if we keep after it, it’s always rewarded in ways great and small. It boosts our happiness, our sense of accomplishment. Curiosity connects us to people and places, even ones we may never see in-person. It provides the path to contribute to our world in a meaningful and profound way that will last far beyond our own existence. Curiosity is the root of everything meaningful, and isn’t that what we’re all after?
A friend of mine posted this link a few days ago. You plug in your name and it tells you the hidden meaning behind it. This was mine. Ha! No wonder I need to meditate daily.
“May all who enter as guests leave as friends.” ~ Unknown
I’ve started to explore different neighborhoods in D.C., including my own! Though I have a general sense of some things in D.C., it really does feel like I’ve landed in a brand new place because the city is so different from 10 years ago. It’s blossomed into a fascinating mix of revitalization and preservation. Part of my exploration is to see how I feel in different neighborhoods as potential places to buy my first home. My hope is that I can build a home here that becomes a place where people gather and share and learn. I’m not exactly sure what form that will take, but I do know I want a house where people enter as guests and always leave as friends. I want my home to feel homey for everyone who visits.
āDoubt is a question mark; faith is an exclamation point. The most compelling, believable, realistic stories have included them both.ā ~Criss Jami
Our lives have both doubt and faith, especially in times of change. We’re worried about what might happen next, and we’re equally excited about the possibilities. We trust the process, and still wonder what we can do to help it along in the event of the slight chance that the process isn’t fine without a little encouragement from us.
Stories weave together the same way our lives do. Characters have doubt and faith. In the best stories the doubt gets the best of them and launches themĀ into all kinds of sticky situations. No wonder stories resonate so deeply with us. They give us faith that if our favorite characters can overcome their circumstances, then so can we. Reading stories is an act of pure faith.
