“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
So often we think that humility means self-deprecation or waving our hand when someone says that they appreciate something we’ve done or accomplished. I prefer C.S. Lewis’s definition. Let’s take it upon ourselves to use our many gifts and talents, not discredit them, to make the world better for all its inhabitants. Don’t spend any effort to dim your light. Spread it around. The world needs you at your best so serve it up.
“Forget mistakes, forget failures, forget everything, except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day.” ~Will Durant
The biggest roadblock to our own success is us. We doubt ourselves. We spend time and energy reviewing when we didn’t do something right or when something didn’t work out the way we wanted. We beat ourselves up. We take ourselves out of the running before we’ve even entered the race.
Here’s the tough love advice I give myself, and I mean it in the best possible way: get over yourself. Literally. You get out there right now, into the world that needs every ounce of your magic and talent, and get to work. The only thing that matters is what you do now.
You don’t need any more permission, advice, training, or ideas. You don’t need to spend any more time or money figuring things out. Just go for it, whatever it is, with everything you’ve got and you’ve got a lot. You’ve got you, and that’s all you need.
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” ~Mark Twain
There’s comfort in numbers, in people telling you that you’re doing the right thing and that they couldn’t agree more with your decisions and ideas. But approval can be a dangerous trap. We can enjoy it so much and seek it out so often that we end up limiting our imagination and ability.
The best things I’ve done in life are the very things that people told me I was crazy to even consider, much less attempt. The things I regret are the things that everyone said I should do. If it weren’t for Mark Twain, I’d think that was just a strange coincidence. It’s not.
If ever we want to do something really new, truly breakthrough on a personal and / or professional level, we’ve got to do something a little crazy. We’re going to have to go well off the well-trodden path. People will shake their heads. They’ll sigh and say things like, “Well, if you think that’s the best thing to do…” while clearly conveying that they certainly don’t agree.
Those are the ideas to stick with. Those are the dreams to follow. You can’t hope for a new, better, happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. You have to build it. You have to move beyond the majority and the boxes they’ve defined. Go way outside the confines of comfort. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
Miracles start as difficulties. If everything in your life was great, you’d never change. You’d never evolve and grow. You’d never have adventures that lead you to become the best version of yourself.
Adversity is difficult and painful. It’s also what helps us find and fulfill our potential. I wish life were easier. I wish we could just evolve without being pushed to do so. But that’s not how life works. It’s not how we work as wonderfully complex and complicated human beings.
Next time life is throwing you challenges, and in my experience that happens every day!, take a deep breath and gives thanks for them. They are leading you along the path that’s meant for you. Choose to rise up, over, through, and beyond them. Choose to let them make you strong, courageous, and wise. Choose to learn from them and not be broken down by them. They’re there for a reason, and in time that reason will come to light.
“You only age when your regrets outnumber your fears.” ~John Barrymore
When we talk about aging in our society, and how to fend off its physical effects, the discussion often turns to diet, exercise, healthcare, and beauty products. I’ve found the best way to lessen the impacts of aging has nothing to do with anything physical. It’s about choices. Are we making the decisions that make us happy and help us feel fulfilled? Are we having fun, enjoying our time, and doing what we love? Our choices have just as much impact on our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing as anything else. So let’s make the choice to leap through fear and go after the lives we really want.
Yesterday I watched a documentary about Saturday Night Live in the 1980s. The show struggled so much after its first five golden years. It lost a lot of its people, its mission, and its way. And it wasn’t a matter of finding it again. A very small group of people, some original and some new, scrapped the entire format and started over from scratch. Brave, and frightening. Just like life.
Many of the cast members—Billy Crystal, Kevin Nealon, Dana Carvey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus—talked about not unpacking their bags. They all had month-to-month leases and were never really sure if they’d made it. Even when things were going very well, they were always on edge. In so many of those old sketches and outtakes, I could see the nerves, spontaneity, and spark.
It got me thinking that as much as we are creatures of comfort, habit, and routine, maybe we do our best work when we don’t have any of those things. Maybe those nerves that keep us on our edge give us our edge. We shouldn’t be looking for comfort at all. What we need to do our best, most creative work is a manageable dose of anxiety and fear. Our magic is not is doing the work we know we can do, but in biting of more than we can chew, in taking on precisely the projects that are beyond our reach. We should go where we think we’ll fail. We rise when we have something to shoot for that seems impossible.
“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” ~Mark Twain
Perfection is a shiny object in the distance that’s rarely, if ever, achievable. I chased perfect for most of my life, and eventually its dance wore me out. I gave up on perfect, and have never looked back. Rather than racing around after it, I’ve learned to sit still and breathe. I learned to realize that what I have, right now, is perfect for this moment. I have everything I need right now to be healthy, happy, and whole. Nature’s not perfect so why do we expect to be?
These days I put my effort into steadily improving myself from the inside out rather than trying to be perfect. Every day, I try to be better than I was the day before. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s okay.
Life is messy and complicated. It’s full of magic and heartbreak. That’s just its nature. Things get torn down to make room for something new. Over and over again. And we don’t always know why. I’ve found that the real joy is in the bouncing back from hard times and the gratitude we feel and show for the good times. Nothing’s permanent, so let’s enjoy what we’ve got right now.
“If you want to sleep more soundly, count blessings, not sheep.” ~Dr. Robert Emmons
I read this quote in a book recently and decided to give it a try. Though this week was stressful, this nightly practice really did help me appreciate the good things that were happening right alongside the tough things. Despite the scare with Phin, I could stay focused on getting him the best care and appreciate my loving friends, the sunshine, the flowering trees, my comfy home, and all of the new adventures ahead of me.
It’s easy to let life weigh us down. Living is hard work. Living fully is even harder work. But we can do hard things. We can pick ourselves up and keep going and keep recognizing that while life is difficult, it’s also pretty amazing.
I took a spin around the Tidal Basin yesterday. I’ve been dreaming of the sight of those cherry blossoms for months and they’ve finally arrived. It’s impossible to resist them and their charm. Spring, my friends, has finally arrived inthe nation’s capital. Check out my Instagram feed, ChristaInTheCity, for my photos.
Marian Cannon Schlesinger is 101 years old and the ex-wife of Arthur Schlesinger Jr., historian and special advisor to President Kennedy. She’s also my new idol.
“She’s still painting, writing, watching Rachel Maddow, and reading two newspapers a day,” said The Atlantic in a recent interview with her. What struck me most about the interview was her advice to free-spirited women: “Do your thing no matter what…Early on I decided being a painter was what I wanted to be but I wanted to be a lot of other things too. I wanted to write…play tennis…have a lot of friends [and] beaus. I think I’ve been very lucky. But I think that I’ve made some of it for myself. I never gave up. I wanted it all, in other words, and I think I really almost got it all too…Just keep going.”
