I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
Let the adventures begin. California, here I come! 
Occasionally, a leopard can change its spots. A Christa in New York can become a Christa in Los Angeles, at least for a little while. We can break patterns. We can do things differently. We can evolve.
Last week, my friends Susan and Richard shared a post from the New York Times that discussed how technology is helping us connect and leaving us feeling lonely. We get absorbed into our screens at the expense of looking people in the eye. I’ve fought hard against the argument that all of our connecting is causing us to become disconnected but I couldn’t refute the points made by the post’s author, Jonathan Safran Foer.
Have I fallen victim to this trend? Maybe. And that answer scares me. This summer I’m going to spend more time connecting, less time connected. This blog will take on a different shape to support that effort so that I can spend more time in the world and more time on my personal writing projects. As someone who thinks in words, I’m trying to improve my visual skills and this blog will support that goal, too. I’m going to attempt to chart my summer in pictures with a couple of lines of text thrown in to record the a-ha moments. The joy. The happiness. The peace. The clarity. The adventure. The world as I see it with my eyes and not through the filters of online information.
Each day, I’ll try to post one photo that perfectly captures what that day means to me. Some will be pictures I take. Some will be pictures I find. And it’s all TBD…
“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
Somewhere along the way we got the crazy idea that work is work and therefore it shouldn’t be equated with happiness, purpose, and passion. We were supposed to leave work at the workplace and not let it seep into other areas of our lives because we had to create a wall in order to have that coveted possession called balance.
I once had an extremely unhappy and bitter friend who was fond of saying, “It’s called work, not play, for a reason.” Not surprisingly, our friendship didn’t last long and never had much depth. I want my work to be my passion, and my passion to be my life.
Put your time and energy into what you love, even if it’s not how you make your income – yet. Master the things that make you happy and recognize that your abilities have no limitations. Stay interested, stay active, and the world of opportunity will reveal itself.
I’ve read a lot of writing about the best ways to be happy, healthy, and successful. This might just be my favorite formula:
Bend, Stretch, Reach, Teach, Reveal, Reflect, Rejoice, Repeat
Thank you, Andy Revkin!
“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” ~ Buckminster Fuller
I always think about this quote whenever I find myself saying, “I don’t think I’m qualified to…” or “I don’t have any experience in…” The truth is that if we’re passionate and committed to getting something done, we’ll find a way to do it.
We all start at zero. None of us had any kind of expertise in anything when we were born. We gain experience by living and learning. That doesn’t stop once childhood is over. We’re all in process throughout our entire lives.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. So many of our capabilities lie dormant until we need them. They are just waiting to be discovered and the only way to discover them is to live.
“Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s needs.” ~ Frederick Buechner
Finding Purpose can be a daunting task. Just ask Princeton, the lead puppet in the show Avenue Q. He’s looking for purpose and his life takes a number of twists and turns, some happy and some incredibly unhappy, in his quest.
But finding purpose doesn’t need to be a torturous task. You don’t need to be a Princeton. There’s a better way, and it’s very similar to how companies create products every day: they identify what they do well, then they look at what the market needs, and they build products and services at the overlap between their strengths and the market’s needs.
You can do the same thing, and it won’t take long.
1.) First, figure out what you like to do and what you do well. These areas can be as broad or as narrow as you like. “Writing” is just as good an answer as “writing poetry for children”.
2.) Second, identify a pain point in the market. A pain point is something that causes people to waste time or causes frustration. For example, many people in New York City don’t have cars of their own and it can be difficult to transport a lot of goods from a store to home. For this reason, many stores and service providers have delivery service. This reduces frustration and saves time for consumers. As you go through your day, think about things that cause you to waste time or energy and things that cause you to be frustrated. Ask your friends, family members, and neighbors about their pain points. Observe other people’s behavior on the street, in stores, at work, etc. What pain points are they experiencing? Again, you can make these pain points as broad or as narrow as you’d like.
3.) Now for the fun part. Look at the list of what you like to do and where your strengths lie side-by-side with the pain points you’ve identified. This is where your creativity comes in. What can you build in the places where these lists overlap? That’s purpose, and a profitable purpose to boot!
“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” ~ Bryant McGill
As I prepare to spend my summer re-thinking and re-shaping my future, I’m unpacking quite a bit of my life: my work, my time online, and the hustle and bustle of my everyday life. I’m taking very little with me in the hopes that de-cluttering my life will open the way for new beginnings.
We sometimes place an unfair connotation on the concept of emptiness. I think of emptiness as a blessing, as a state of being that helps us to re-imagine and re-invent. If every ounce of time and space we have is full, then we can’t be open to the many gifts that new experiences offer.
So I’m making room. I’m letting go. I’m giving myself the gift of fully experiencing life one moment at a time and the chance to celebrate the beauty that each small moment holds.
Here’s a snapshot of what I want from my summer in Santa Monica.
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” ~ Gautama Buddha
A very dear friend of mine recently lost someone close to her. He was taken at far too young an age; he still had a lot of living left to do. Letting someone go is one of the hardest things we have to do, and it’s also an excellent motivator that helps us make the most of our own lives.
The only way I can make sense of loss is by understanding that it makes me live more fully. I don’t take any day for granted. I don’t assume I’m getting a tomorrow. It all goes by too fast, and I try to grab as much of the whirling, swirling wonder of life as possible.
Deciding on our purpose, what we’re meant to do with the small sliver of time we have, is difficult. The only thing more difficult is not undertaking the pursuit. Our purpose can be a cause, person, community, line of work, or role we wish to play in the story of humanity. It’s the only thing we have complete control over. It’s our choice.
So go out there. Discover what it is that lights you up and decide to make a go of it. In that way, no matter how much time you have it will be worthwhile. You will have done what you came to do, and you’ll inspire others to do the same.
I thought I was through with it. I don’t panic anymore when I hear fire engine sirens. I’m not afraid to be in my home. My nightmares have disappeared. I don’t end up crying on the street wondering how I got there after forgetting where I’m going. These were all symptoms I had after my apartment building fire almost 4 years ago. At the time, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I just felt crazy. Then after I started going to therapy shortly after the fire, I realized I had PTSD.
Brian, my wizard of a therapist, and I worked through decades of issues that my PTSD triggered and after almost 3 years of hard work, I found my way to stability and confidence. That was a year ago. Last week the Santa Monica shootings sent me into a spell. I’ll be staying near there all summer on a house swap. How could this be happening to me? I felt dizzy with the what if scenarios. What if I had been there already? What if I was driving and I had been the car that was hijacked? What if I was out walking Phineas and I had been hit by a stray bullet? What if. What if. What if. I started crying. And shaking.
I used my tools. I closed by eyes, placed one hand on the heart, one hand on the belly, and started to breathe. Body into the hands on the inhale. Body into the back of the chair on the exhale. I kept my attention at the third eye. I replaced those racing what ifs with this truth: “You are safe.” I began to wind down, slowly and with a lot of effort. It worked. I was safe, and then I felt safe.
This is what meditation can do for you. It can take you from panic to peace. I can take also take you from helpless to helpful. After I calmed down, I had the most incredible thought. What happened in Santa Monica is awful. There are people there who might be scared, people who might need the gift I have to give. Maybe there’s a way for me to teach what I know. After all, I’ve lived with those what if thoughts for a long time. I learned how to chase them away. I learned how to have power over them rather than the other way around. Maybe the people of Santa Monica need that gift, too. Maybe this summer I will be in just the right place at just the right time for people who need me.
