Month: February 2013

action, choices, time

Beautiful: Time Is Your Teacher

Christa Avampato
Gandalf
Gandalf

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ~ Gandalf from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring

Time is a powerful teacher. It reveals our priorities, even when we are not fully aware of them. It makes us efficient and raises our awareness. As we watch time fly by, we are motivated to make the most of it. It causes us to rise up and follow our dreams.

In my younger days, I remember hearing older people tell me that the older we get the faster time goes. I didn’t believe them. After all, this hour doesn’t pass any quicker or slower than any other hours. It’s our perception that changes it. Time teaches us that, too – our perception changes our experience.

The passage of time can feel scary because ultimately we begin to realize that our finite amount of time is indeed finite. We can lengthen that time with good health, but we can’t change the fact that eventually it will come to an end. Don’t let that frighten you into paralysis. Use that unabiding, universal truth to make changes today. Do something you really want to do and do it right now. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Follow through. Stop putting off decisions and start making choices that help you live a life you’re proud of at every moment. Live. Really live.

creativity, failure, success

Beautiful: You Failed. Now What?

Christa Avampato

e41469c12649a4ba75dff65bd595e8fc“Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.” ~ Zig Ziglar

There is a lot of talk about failure. Fail fast, fail often is the creed of many an entrepreneur and innovator. But what do you do about failure? How do you move on after it and what do you do with the experience of failure? Here’s a short list of how I’ve processed my (many!) failures and created something valuable from them.

1.) I learned what not to do. We hear this kind of advice all of the time when we have a terrible boss (and sadly, we’ve all had terrible bosses.) They didn’t teach us what to do but they sure as heck taught us what not to do. This is true of failure as well. We experiment with different ideas, crossing off what doesn’t work in an effort to find what does work. Finding success is largely a process of eliminating ideas that don’t work.

2.) I figured out how to build a team. I never want to be the smartest person in the room. Ever. I want everyone else to be heads and shoulders above me with completely different skill sets and interests that complement mine. I build my teams the same way. The collaborative process of a team is one in which every member contributes something unique so that everyone maximizes their learning opportunity.

3.) Know when to press on in the face of adversity and when to quit. Kenny Rogers may have been talking about gambling but his line “you gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run” is as true in the business as it is in poker. Failure taught me when to cut my losses and stop throwing good money, time, effort, and attention, after bad. It also taught me when to tough it out and get through hard times for the sake of the success that lies just beyond the difficulties.

There is no playbook for managing failure. It is a process of trial, error, and trial again. We all learn it the same way. We can take advice from others, but ultimately we are the captains of our own ships. We have to steer our own course, and many times that means taking failure and success in stride in equal amounts. Don’t let failure paralyze you. Don’t let it keep you from trying again. Also, don’t waste it. It’s an incredible teacher if we are willing to look at it objectively and use it as fuel to move forward.

career, decision-making, experience

Beautiful: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself as the CEO of Your Career

Christa Avampato

growing-in-a-petri-dishI read an article yesterday about the five questions that every company should ask itself. As I read through it, I found that the questions are helpful on a personal level as well. We hear the line that “we are the CEOs of our own careers” all the time but how many of us actually live that way? When was the last time you asked yourself these questions, answered them, and made any necessary changes to align your life with your values?

The questions are:
1.) “What is your purpose on this Earth?”

2.) “What should you stop doing?”

3.) “If you didn’t have an existing way of life, how could you best build one?”

4.) “Where is your petri dish?” – a.k.a. “How do you experiment and make plans for your future without feeling hampered by your current situation?”

5.) “How do you make a better experiment?”

The last 4 center around the process of experimentation in which success is not guaranteed, or even likely. Ultimately, they ask us to consider how we will learn from taking chances and possibly falling. They also lead us to consider how we will pick ourselves back up and try again, better and stronger than we were before. This kind of reflection is worthy of our consideration.

career, choices, opportunity, work

Beautiful: How to Know When to Let Go of an Opportunity

Christa Avampato

66938dw9i9fftf5-300x300Opportunities are everywhere and if you took every one that came your way, you’d wear yourself out before you even got started. You’d also become highly distracted from the work you’re meant to do. Turning down an opportunity, especially when it’s a particularly good one, is a tough call. We second-guess our judgement. People give us their opinions and plant fears in our head with sayings like “well, if you don’t take this opportunity, someone else will.” I say that’s just fine. There is more than enough opportunity to go around for all of us. Your only job is to figure out which ones are right for you and then make the most of them.

When I first left my corporate job last summer, I was offered a freelance gig immediately by another division of my former employer. I knew the VP well (I actually adore her) and knew the work would be fun. However, it didn’t align with what I really wanted to do and why I left my employer in the first place. I wanted to focus my energies on consulting for nonprofits in the education and healthcare space, my teaching, and my writing. While this freelance gig would have paid well, it wasn’t what I wanted to do. So, I turned it down. The VP totally understood and left the door open for me if I ever changed my mind.

You should have heard the firestorm from some people in my life. “You should take it so that you have a big client on your books right away.” “Are you crazy? You can’t afford to turn down work when you’re first starting out.” “You can’t always do work you love.” Mind you, this was day 2 of starting my new company.

I didn’t listen to the criticism. I knew I did the right thing for me. I think what really flipped people out was that if I turned down work that wasn’t right for me, what did that say about their decisions to do work that wasn’t right for them?

At the beginning of January, I was offered a gig with a client I had worked with before. My first gig with them was not fun but it paid well and gave me an opportunity to learn a new skill set. It was a good experience but I had no desire to repeat it. When they came back to me and asked if I’d like to work on a new opportunity with them, I turned it down. Another firestorm ensued, this time directly from the client and the headhunter who had negotiated my first contract with them. I easily stood my ground because I was very clear about my own goals.

And that’s the trick. I’m a firm believer in you following your goals, not the goals of others. What do you want to learn? What kind of work do you want to do? What type of industry / company do you want to work with? What matters most to you? If this whole shindig is up tomorrow and it’s game over exactly where you are, will you feel good about the legacy you’ve crafted? Those are the only questions that matter. Let other people wage their own battle with their own choices. Your concern is how you spend your time, and that is work enough.

adventure, beauty, grateful, gratitude, opportunity, time

Beautiful: A Garden of Opportunity

Christa Avampato

bunch-of-beautiful-flower-garden-wallpapers-1024x768“It is not what is poured into a student that counts but what is planted.” ~ Linda Conway

In most of our interactions, we never really know how we’ve affected another person. Something we say or do can have profound effects on someone else years later, and many times that effect surfaces in unexpected ways. We are all students and teachers. We observe and learn. What we say and do serves as an example for others.

When we are teaching through our words and actions, it’s important to remember that no one observes us and follows along in a rote manner. It’s not the information that’s most important. In our fast-paced world, information changes moment to moment. The system by which we process that information – our thought processes, interpretation, and then what we do with it – is what is under constant reflection by others around us.

By our words and actions, we are planting seeds. Just like a garden, some of those seeds will never germinate. We will never be able to influence some people. However, some of those seeds will sprout and take root when the conditions are right, when the person who observes us is ready to hear and act upon the lessons we teach. And it’s not always readily apparent who belongs to which group. The answers may surprise you.

There’s only one way to handle this ambiguity. Approach every situation, every opportunity, as a seed. Give it your best – all of the sunshine, water, and nutrients you can muster. Give it your love. Despite all of your doting, some of those seeds will remain dormant. But I promise you that some of them will blossom. Some of them will bring you an unimaginable amount of joy. So much so that they will make you grateful beyond measure.

Once you see that growth, put your time and attention there. All of it. That is the work of your life – to make a difference wherever and whenever you can. This is the great adventure.

choices, happiness

Beautiful: What to Do Once You Answer the Question, “Am I Happy?”

Christa Avampato

481983_420884124659822_1621485679_nA friend of mine sent this over to me on Friday after she received it from someone else. I love it because it’s so true. We have a choice when it comes to our happiness.

The question “Am I happy?” is very important. We should be asking ourselves this question every single day. If the answer is “no”, the next question is critical. “Do you want to be happy?” I’m always glad to help people who want to be happy and are willing to make some changes to be happy. I don’t spend a lot of time with people who are unhappy and don’t want to make any changes to be happy. Honestly, I can’t help those people. No one can.

Happiness is a choice. No one is stuck in an endless cycle of unhappiness that they are incapable of breaking. Happiness is something we create. Happiness, and unhappiness for that matter, doesn’t happen to us. (Obviously this doesn’t hold in rare, extreme circumstances like war, violent crime, etc.) It happens because of the choices we make and what we do with the results of those choices. It’s all up to us.

New York City

Beautiful: Bon Voyage and Thank You, Ed Koch

Christa Avampato

koch39“I said, to be a New Yorker you have to live here for six months, and if at the end of the six months you find you walk faster, talk faster, think faster, you’re a New Yorker.” ~ Ed Koch (Thanks to my pal, Sara Alvarez, for posting quote.)

Yesterday, New York City lost one of her greatest residents and best advocates. Former Mayor Ed Koch left us at the age of 88. It’s hard to think of New York City without him. He is as iconic as the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, and the Statue of Liberty.

His love of New York was infectious and he helped us all keep our egos in check by constantly asking his trademark question, “How’m I doin’?” New Yorkers by nature like to one up each other with how long they’ve lived here, how well they know the city, and how much of a New Yorker they are. Ed believed that this city belonged to anyone who had the courage to move here. In his eyes, New York was for everyone.

And so it’s with a couple of tears in our eyes and heavy hearts that we bid you a fond farewell as you take up the next leg of your journey. We can only hope that you love the place you now call home as much as you loved this city. Thanks for believing that together we could make this a better place, even when the future seemed so bleak.

To read a beautiful retrospective of his life in the New York Times, please click here. Ironically, a documentary about him appropriately named Koch opened nationwide on the same day that he passed away. Ed always knew how to go out with a splash.

education, food, health, learning

Beautiful: You Are What You Eat

Christa Avampato

logoA few weeks ago I started taking a nutrition course. The Fundamentals of Nutrition is offered by Coursera and is a wonderful example of a Massive Open Online Course, or MOOC. It is taught by Dr. Kristina von Castel-Roberts from the University of Florida. I decided to take the class because I really want to improve my eating habits even further this year.

One of our first assignments involved using Supertracker, an online tool from the USDA that helps you track your food intake, physical activity, and other health-based metrics. I’ve never actually kept a food diary and the psychology behind this activity is fascinating. I have a strong sweet tooth. A very strong sweet tooth. Yesterday I was at a breakfast meeting with all of my favorite goodies – muffins, pastries, donuts, and fruit. Usually I would gobble down anything and everything that looked appealing. Now that I have to commit my food intake in writing and actually see its nutritional content, I held back. I had one very small pastry and loaded up on fruit.

If we really want to achieve a goal, charting our progress toward it in writing is one of the most useful motivators. Write it down!