I am conflicted about Occupy Wall Street. So conflicted, that I have been conflicted about writing anything on the situation other than a tweet here and there. I certainly support everyone’s right to speak their mind and raise their concerns. The frustration that has served as the fuel for the protest is widely understood and shared, by me and nearly everyone else I know. Yesterday someone asked me if I’ve been down to the protest, and when I said no, they were a bit surprised. Given my outspoken and scrappy personality, this movement seems like it would be a natural fit for me.
Here’s the rub: I can’t show up at the protests authentically. I work for a financial services company, I have an MBA, and though I grew up in a family of very few financial means, I pushed myself instead of the government or the economy to get my life on track. I never expected anyone to do anything to get me a job. I always felt fully responsible for my own well-being. The world never owed me anything, and never will, except the opportunity to try. My happiness and success falls squarely on my shoulders, and my shoulders alone.
Entrepreneurs
Steve Jobs and every other entrepreneur out there didn’t expect anyone to create jobs. They actually didn’t want anyone to give them a job. They wanted to build their own careers, their own companies. They wanted to invent the future, theirs and the world’s. Their futures were safer in their own two hands.
Thrifty People
Susan Gregory Thomas is a single mother who takes care of her family’s nutrition and personal needs on about $100 / week thanks to an oversized amount of curiosity, necessity, and a love for simplicity. To do so, she and her family went back to the land, reluctantly, in Brooklyn. She was a freelance writer who lost most of her income in the recession and had to reign in her spending in a serious way. Her story is inspiring and shows just how much we can do when the stakes are high and the options are few. We are far more resourceful and creative than we realize.
The only people I know who really make something extraordinary out of their days are those who roll up their sleeves and build it. I recognize that people feel badly about this economy and about our government. I feel badly, too. My days are not spent doing exactly what I want to do at every single moment. There is this pesky little matter of over-sized student loans that I really want to pay off as quickly as I can. I put myself through school twice, and my education is the very best investment I’ve ever made. And that investment has come at a price tag that I am responsible for paying. To do that, I have to delay my dream of working for myself for a bit.
Of course I’d like the situation to be different, but it’s not. Complaining about it doesn’t do anything except make me feel worse so I don’t complain about it. I made my choices and now I live with their consequences. I got myself a job that pays the bills and I work on my creative projects when I’m done with my bill paying job. It won’t always be this way, though for now this will do just fine. I can make short-term sacrifices for the sake of a long-term dream.
And that may just be the trick. We want short and long-term gain, in every area of our lives. Understood sacrifice is no longer a part of our national fabric. The moment we are made to make any compromises or trade-offs, the moment we are asked to be patient for anything we want, we are furious. I’m not sure how we can sustain this mindset, and there will certainly be pain in putting our economy back together. Lots of it.
It’s this very mindset, not big business, that got us into this mess in the first place. If we hadn’t been so eager to take on more debt than we can afford and if we hadn’t been more-than-willing to buy anything and everything that big business is selling, we may well have avoided this recession, or at least made it less severe. Now we are really in a tough place, and it is very painful to look in the mirror and say, “We are responsible.” That act is ALWAYS painful. Personal responsibility is a tough and often uncomfortable possession. We are looking for someone to blame, someone whom we can hold accountable for our unhappiness and our collective mistakes. And we are looking for someone to save us. The person we are waiting for is us; we must be our own saviors,
Banks, big business, and millionaires (even self-made ones) are easy, accessible targets. I’m not in agreement with the Tea Party or the GOP – I don’t think there is anything Un-American about Occupy Wall Street. I certainly think that big business prayed on our weaknesses and made their cheap, poorly made goods and services attractive in deceptive ways. But they didn’t force us to do anything. We chose where to spend our money and how much of it.
We are free thinkers and we make choices every moment of every day. Those collective small choices brought us to where we are today. And the choices we make going forward will determine how this whole thing shakes out. In no way do I mean to discourage people from joining Occupy Wall Street. Maybe their voices will raise a new and badly needed source of consciousness in government, in business, and in the minds of individuals.
But you won’t see me Occupying Wall Street. I’m inside the belly of the beast trying to make it more compassionate and raise its awareness from the inside out. There are a lot of people like me in financial services and big business trying to do the same. If we really want to change the financial system, we first need to understand how it operates. I’ve found the best way to do that is get in there, grab a front row seat, and then work like hell to make it a better place.
Christa Avampato 