“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” ~ St. Augustine
Lately I’ve been itching to run, just take off on the open road of life so to speak and not look back. I’m not exactly sure where this feeling came from or why it’s persisting, but it is certainly familiar to me. It’s been a while since it’s made an appearance in my life, and I must admit that it feels like greeting an old friend who has been away for too long.
Someone wise once told me many years ago that change is good and I should embrace it, so long as I’m running to something and not away from something. When the running instinct showed up at my door a few weeks ago, I had to take a few steps back and really think about whether or not to let it in. Was I just so frustrated with certain circumstances in my life, compounded by the fact that I have such a clear vision now for Compass Yoga, that I was willing to do anything to feel like I was just moving, if not moving forward? Or were the options for change laid out in front of me truly something I wanted to embrace for their own sake? It comes down to priorities.
By nature, I am an impatient person. I see what needs to be done, what must be done, and I just want to go do it. I don’t want to ask permission. I just want to have the freedom to act by my own conscience. Having such a clear picture of Compass Yoga is both a blessing and a curse. It helps me channel my efforts straight to its purpose and it has become a very centering force in my life. However, it makes it very difficult for me to do anything but further its mission.
As of late, I’ve had some really incredible career opportunities cross my path, opportunities that even a year ago I would have given anything for. I wasn’t sure what to do, and so I sat in meditation, much longer than I usually do, hoping for an answer. And I got one. I turned them all down. All of them, in favor of putting my efforts into Compass Yoga. One of them was a dream business development job. I would have been a senior person in the organization charged with growing the company 20%+. I knew I could rise to a challenge like that, but the trouble is that if I’m going to grow anything 20%, it’s going to be my own organization, not someone else’s, no matter how great I think that other company is.
Patience is hard. We aren’t wired for it, but when we have a big audacious goal, we need patience and perseverance is equal amounts. I’ve been waiting for this moment to do my own thing, it’s almost here, and I was going to cloud it with someone else’s vision? No way. I’ve waited too long to have my turn at channeling all of my resources and experiences in the direction that I see fit. I can’t lose sight of that big picture now! This choice is part of the hero’s journey.
Like Hanuman, I am laying in wait for just a little while longer before springing into action. The opportune time is almost here – I can feel it with every fiber of my being. No sense in getting sidetracked now. My work, by my own definition, is too valuable to too many people. Focus is what’s needed.
Christa Avampato 