“The important thing, it seems to me, is that we believe in the possibilities of one another.” ~ Feo Aladag, Director of When We Leave, to Cinema Without Borders
Yesterday I promised to tell you about the second dream I had in Florida that was so vivid, so eerie, that I felt it was more of a message than a dream. This one is about options, possibilities, and just how many of them are all around us.
The dream
In the dream I was seated in a very dark room, so dark that I actually wasn’t able to see anything. I didn’t feel frightened or alarmed in any way. It was as if I was just sitting cross-legged on the floor and with my closed eyes had blocked out all the light. There was a very clear voice, not my own and not belonging to anyone I recognized. The only thing I was certain of is that the voice was male.
Very clearly and calmly that voice said to me, “You’re not as penned in as you think.” I started on why I need to keep my day job with the fact of my pesky student loans right at the top of the list. Then the voice asked me to really think about that reason and see if it’s true. And just like that, the dream ended and I woke up.
A lesson from my younger self
I thought about my students loans. While the total dollar amount is higher than I’d like, the monthly payment is lower than my student loan payment was when I first graduated from undergrad in 1998. And what did I do in 1998? I went running off to New York City to chase a crazy dream of working on Broadway shows. I didn’t move here, get a day job, and chase my dream on the side. I went for it, both feet in. It was difficult, I struggled, and there were plenty of days when I wondered what I was really doing. When those days hit, I just buckled down, showed up, and kept going because moving forward was the only thing I knew how to do.
Maybe the voice in my dream had a point. Maybe it is time for me to let go of the guideline that I have to pay off my student loans before I can leave a stable day job. If we want to live extraordinary lives, then we can’t spend all our days living our dreams on the side. The only box we are really in is the one we build around ourselves; we’re not as penned in as we may feel. We have to believe in our own possibilities and the possibilities of one another.
Christa Avampato 