Month: January 2011

risk

Beginning: The Risk Outside Our Comfort Zone

Christa Avampato

This post is also available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.” ~ James Bryant Conant

A lot of people I know are thinking about changes in their lives, or are in the midst of change, expected and unexpected. They are wondering whether taking a chance is really the right thing to do. They’re plagued by fears of failure and unhappiness and embarrassment. Pursuing a dream can be a scary thing — it takes courage to announce to the world what you’d like to do and then go do it because there is always the risk of face planting and then having to explain what went wrong. And who likes to be wrong?

I’m having this issue, too, roughly every hour on the hour. I have been waking up with a perpetual nightmare that I’m sitting all alone in the beautiful yoga studio I’ve rented because no one showed up for class. Now, this is a slight over-reaction considering how many people have RSVP’d just through the Meet-up group for the class and I still have roughly 75% of a marketing plan up my sleeve. But it could happen. Failure can always happen, no matter how successful we’ve been in the past, no matter how good an idea we have may be. The possibility of failure is never 100% erased from a situation.

So here’s some advice: listen to James Bryant Conant and think about yourself as a turtle. You’re all curled up in your nice warm shell, safe and protected from the outside world. It’s important to have that shell with you – whenever you make a change or try something new, it’s nice to know a safe retreat is available should you need a private place to lick your wounds a bit and heal from a plan gone wrong. But you just can’t stay in there forever and be happy. Every once in a while, you need to have a peek at the outside world. To get anywhere, you’re just going to have to climb out of that shell for a while and be exposed, moving one step at a time.

Others have done it. You can, too. Let’s stick our necks out there together and encourage one another along the road. Let’s make some progress.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.

change, determination, failure, fear

Beginning: Confidence in Your Ability to Navigate the Tides

Christa Avampato

This post is also available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

“You must know that you can swim through every change of tide.” ~ Yogi Tea

This post follows on the heels of my posts encouraging you to focus, do worthy work, and take a risk. I didn’t learn to swim until I was 30, so I know how scary literal tide shifts can be. The tides of change – they’re even scarier. I will turn situations over and over in my mind, imagining every possible bad scenario that will be wrought by some change. In the past year, Brian and I have worked on my confidence, and that confidence building has largely come into play when the ground is shifting and the tides are churning. I’m so worried about getting swallowed up whole by change that I’m not giving enough credit to my ability to swim.

When a wave comes at us in the ocean, the worst thing to do is keep our heads up and fight it. Instead, diving in, and through, is the best thing to do. Waves of change are like this, too. Maybe the fear of change, particularly if you see it coming down the road at you, has you worried. It’s a change in a relationship, a job, where you live, or what makes you feel alive. Take comfort in the fact that you can swim through that change. It doesn’t have to barrel over you. You can go along and be taken to a place you never even dreamed of because you never knew of its possibility.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.

finance, money, work

Beginning: Worthy Work

Christa Avampato

This post is available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

“Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

“Is that really going to help you make enough money?” a friend recently asked me about my business, Compass Yoga. I didn’t get my yoga teacher training nor did I start my company in order to quit my job and make my entire income from it. The intention was, and continues to be, to do something that made my time worthwhile. The job I do for money is fine. I work with nice people, I have some flexibility in my schedule, it’s helping me pay down my school loans, and I have the chance to learn about new technologies and market innovations. It’s not the work of my life, but it makes my life’s work possible under my current circumstances.

My friend, Amy, recently told me about a book called Your Money Or Your Life. I haven’t read it yet but it’s on order through Amazon. Since I work in financial services and have always been fascinated by the psychology of money (mostly because I grew up with very few financial resources), I’m looking forward to exploring the framework. The premise of the book is this: where are you trying to go, how much do you need to get there, and what plan can you put in place right now with the income you have to get you to that point, whatever that point is? Its authors put forward the idea that it is okay to have a job that makes you money to pour into your passions. They give readers permission to separate their financial life and the work that they are most passionate about.

Now, if you are making money from your greatest passion, then I applaud you. (Please tell me how it’s going, too!) Your Money or Your Life, and this post, are for those of us who are grappling with having a job that makes us some good money but doesn’t necessarily light our fire the way our other interests do. I spoke a bit about this for my interview with Liz Massey on Creative Liberty. I spent the early part of my career working in theatre. By all accounts I had exactly the job I wanted. The trouble with that job was I worked so many hours, often without good pay, that is wore me down and actually made me hate the theatre. After I left my last theatre job, I didn’t go see a show for over a year. Now I love going to the theatre — I needed to make my money some place else so I could actually fall in love with my passion again.

I’m not in any way suggesting that you run out and make lots of money doing something you hate because your passions won’t pay you well. Not at all. What I am saying is that making money doing what you love can seem like nirvana from a far and be less than satisfying up close. I also believe that making money doing what we love can be an incremental process, and progress in increments is more than fine. Every journey really is made by putting one foot in front of the other, however long that journey may take.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.

care, courage, dreams, education, inspiration, integrity, story

Further Thoughts on MLK Day

Christa Avampato

This post is available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~ MLK via CharlesMBlow

Charles M. Blow is The New York Times’s visual Op-Ed columnist. His column appears every Saturday.

“Dr. King delivered the “I have a dream” speech at age 34 and lived only 39 years.” ~ via Drew Allen

I read these two tweets on Monday morning with so much gratitude and then so much awe for the person Dr. King was and the person that he asked all of us to be. He was the age I am now when he delivered the I Have a Dream speech and his life was cut far too short only 5 years later. Those two pieces of information weigh heavy on my heart, particularly when I consider how far we still have to go to create a more peaceful society where everyone, regardless of race, creed, gender, personal economics, or upbringing, can advance through hard work and determination.

Coincidentally I am now reading Condoleezza Rice’s book, Extraordinary, Ordinary People, which reminds me of how much hope we have in our society. While I don’t agree with her politics, the inspiration of her story can’t be denied. She grew up in pre-Civil Rights Birmingham and rose to be one of the most influential people in the world because of her hard-won education. She has a quote in the book that hit me like a ton of bricks because of the courage and passion it coveys. She says of her parents, “Somehow they raised their little girl in Jim Crow Birmingham to believe that even if she couldn’t have a hamburger at the Woolworth’s lunch counter, she could be President of the United States.”

I understand her fervent belief in education. I grew up in a family that didn’t have a lot of money but believed in education. I studied hard, worked hard, and pushed myself, sometimes far beyond my limits, because even at an early age I knew that my education would improve the quality of my life in the long run. That bet, that long, sometimes-difficult-to-believe-in bet, paid off. My education, and the will it took to get it, are two things that I am incredibly grateful for every day. I live a really good life as a result of my education. I like to share that story, particularly with children, through my volunteer work. It gives them some hope to meet a real life person who understands where they are and where they can get to by working hard.

In the spirit of Dr. King, we need to share our stories through every channel we’ve got. We must continue to talk about what’s important to us and what matters. And we must do so without ever really knowing how or when or why it will affect someone else. Martin Luther King Day reminds us why it is so important to speak our minds and then live accordingly – because it makes a difference.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.

change, choices, decision-making

The Power of “No” In A Pursuit of Focus

Christa Avampato

This post is available as a podcast on Cinch and on iTunes.

“No” is a difficult word for me. Whenever I see a worthy cause, an interesting project, or a place that I can do some good, I want to take up the task. The trouble with that tendency (and maybe addiction?) is that I end up fragmenting my time and running from the time I wake up to the time I get home. Yoga and meditation have helped. My writing has helped. Lasting focus takes something more, and shares something with every other meaningful change we seek to make – a real desire to live differently and the ability to say no to distractions that don’t serve the goal.

I get some energy, and some of my self-esteem, from being able to manage it all. I take pride in my organization and efficiency. It gives me a rush. Having that rush is fun for a bit, though after a while it does grate on me. I get worn down and frustrated, and the fault is mine. I’ve been calling myself a recovering multi-tasker, and like all recoverees, I have to manage my impulse to do too many things as once without doing real justice to any of them.

I went on a date on Saturday. Nice guy, but not the right guy for me. He said something that has stuck with me for a few days. When I told him about my job, my yoga, and my writing, he simply just said, “Wow. You’re busy.” And it wasn’t in a mean, nor an admiring, way. It was just a fact. On the way to the train, I thought, “Wow. I’m too busy to meet someone.” Even if this guy had been the right guy for me, I don’t have enough time to get to know him. I’ve painted every little corner of my time with too many commitments, without leaving enough space for spontaneity or even just to relax and unwind.

After so many years chugging down this path, I’m hopping off of the too-many-obligations train. I’m going to really start this journey of building in free time, truly free time, to my life. I’m going to work on my yoga and my writing, and with the rest of the time I’m having fun. I’m going to make more time for the people (and the dog!) in my life, and for me. I’m going to begin to be free more often.

The image above was created my Shorewalker and is available here.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.

health, hospital, yoga

Teaching Yoga in Geriatric Psych at New York Methodist Hospital

Christa Avampato

This post is available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

“The years teach much which the days never knew.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last week, I went to New York Methodist Hospital to meet with the Recreational Therapist in the Geriatric Psych Department. She was interested in having a yoga instructor come into the department to do chair yoga with the patients that have the mobility to exercise. The Department is an acute care facility, meaning that patients are there following some incident that requires close monitoring by a medical staff. Their average length of stay is 3 weeks, and many of the patients are in their 70s and 80s.

I had my first class today with a small group of patients. “We don’t allow children here,” said Wesley*. In the next breath be threatened to kill me (in words only – he is physically harmless and apparently says that to everyone). He read the paper cover to cover every day of his life. Now he can no longer read (that is one of the saddest parts of dementia to me) though still insists on leafing through the paper and cutting out pictures that interest him. Another patient, Lola, told me she is 4 months pregnant and going home tomorrow. Minnie, the most coherent of the group, rolled her eyes at every comment made by the other patients. There was something both sweet and sad about the class.

My emotions on the train back to Manhattan were complex and jumbled. I’m fascinated by how the brain functions (or malfunctions), and supremely interested in how yoga, meditation, and breath work can alter the brain’s long-term health. “Where did they do?” I kept asking myself. Why can’t Wesley read any more? Why does this beautiful, blessed machine of a brain have to unravel?

If I could find a way to use yoga to help a mind stay calm and balanced and among us just a little while longer, then I would consider myself so lucky to have done work worth doing.

* All names have been changed to protect the patients’ confidentiality.

animals, dogs, guest blogger

Advice from Janet Casamento on Becoming a Responsible Dog Parent

Christa Avampato

Janet and I have been friends since our early years as students at the University of Pennsylvania. We were part of the theatre community at Penn and I have always admired Janet for her ability to always go her own way and be her own person with confidence. In the last year she has become my own personal dog whisperer, a skill she developed after adopting and raising her adorable pups, Bruno and Melody.

Her expert advice and guidance helped me to become a responsible and loving dog owner and I wanted to showcase her knowledge on this subject for anyone considering adopting a pet of their own. This is my small attempt at thanking her for all of her help and advice as I go through the process of raising my rescue pup, Phineas.


Christa – How did you know you were ready to adopt your dogs? Were there certain circusmtances in your life that made this time a particularly good one for you to get a pup? 

Janet – I’d wanted to adopt a dog for quite some time.  I adopted Bruno right after I graduated from business school because I knew I’d be settling into a regular schedule with my job at that point in time.  I knew that dogs need a schedule and structure, so it just seemed like the right time for me.

Christa – I know you are a huge advocate for pet rescue, as am I. How did you make the decision to adopt your dogs versus buying them from a breeder?

Janet – Just walking into an animal shelter makes you realize how many dogs are in desperate need of homes.  To me, it just seems unconscionable to get a puppy from a breeder when so many adult dogs are being euthanized daily in our nation’s shelters.  Before breeding new dogs, it is our responsibility to first care for the ones who already exist and are in need of homes.

Christa – What drove the decision to get your Melody after you adopted Bruno?

Janet – I think I started feeling a bit guilty that Bruno was home alone all day while I was at work, so I made the decision to foster for a local rescue group as a way to help animals in need while also providing Bruno with some companionship.  Dogs are very social, pack animals, and most dogs appreciate being in the company of other dogs.  Melody started out as a foster, but I after seeing how well she and Bruno got along and how nicely she fit into my household, I decided to make her a permanent part of the family. 

Christa – When adopting a dog, were there any specific traits that you were looking for?

Janet – When I adopted Bruno, I was looking for a sporty dog, since I’m a pretty active person.  I intended on adopting a 20-30 pound dog (I lived in an apartment at the time and there was a weight restriction for dogs there) that I could take with me running and on hikes.  I ended up taking home an adorable fluff ball who stole my heart at the shelter.

Christa – When you were starting out as a dog owners, were there resources or products that you turned to that were especially helpful?

Janet – I did a lot of research online.  Google was my friend for quite some time.  I also highly recommend any dog owner, experienced or new, when bringing a new dog into their household sign up for a basic training class.  The training class provides structure and is an opportunity for your dog to learn to socialize and behave in the presence of other dogs outside the home.  Furthermore, training helps you form a bond with your new pet. 

Christa – What’s been the thing that has surprised you the most about being a dog owner?

Janet – When I started out with Bruno, I never thought in a million years I’d have a dog sleeping in my bed with me.  I’d always intended for him to have his dog bed to sleep in every night.  Two years later, I couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping without him next to me.  I guess you could say I’m surprised at how deeply I love my dogs and how close our bond is!

Christa – Do you have any advice for people who are thinking of getting a new dog? Are there certain circumstances in their life that they need to develop before bringing a new pup into their lives?

Janet – Yes.  Always, always, always do your research before you adopt.  Understand yourself and your lifestyle before bringing a dog into your home.  Different dogs have different needs.  For instance, puppies especially require a lot of time, attention and training.  If you work 12 hours days, a puppy is not the right choice for you.  You might want to consider adopting an adult dog already past the puppy stage and be prepared to hire a dog walker or find a doggy day care facility for your dog if you do work long hours, or consider adopting a bonded pair of adult dogs so they have each other as company while you are gone all day.

Also consider your breed carefully. If you’ve always dreamed of owning a Vizsla, but you are a couch potato who lives in a studio apartment in Manhattan, you should probably reconsider your choice, as Vizslas need lots of exercise or else they will likely become bored and destructive.  Concentrate on finding the right dog(s) for you and your lifestyle.  I believe just about anyone can have a dog if they want one, but it does often mean making some sacrifices and compromises to accommodate your dog’s needs.

Please understand adopting a dog is a commitment to the care of that animal for its entire lifetime, which can be up to 15-20 years. Some other things to consider are if you are financially capable of caring for your dog should it become ill and require medical treatment, daily upkeep costs such as food and grooming, your willingness to tolerate damage to your home and possessions as I guarantee no matter how well behaved and trained your dog is, there will inevitably be accidents and destruction of some sort at some point, your willingness and ability to deal with training and behavior issues, who will care for your dog while you are at work and/or on vacation, and any other changes to your lifestyle/schedule you can anticipate happening during the course of your dog’s lifetime such as job demands, moving, marriage/divorce, having children, or retirement.  Are you prepared to make sacrifices for your pet, from the perspective of both time and money?

Adopting a pet should never be an “impulse buy”. Dogs look to humans for leadership, care and affection.  If you can’t adequately provide these things to your dog, you shouldn’t have one.  Please do not contribute to the overcrowding problem in our nation’s shelters and carefully consider your ability to fully care for your pet for its entire life.  Pet ownership is a highly rewarding experience, but it is not a decision that should be taken lightly!

Janet is the proud owner of 2 rescue dogs, Bruno, a Pekingese/Cocker
Spaniel mix and Melody, a Lhasa Apso. Janet, an animal rescue
volunteer, lives and works in sunny Los Angeles, CA. She maintains
her own snarky blog about the little things in life at
http://miniletters.wordpress.com. To keep up with Bruno and Melody,
please “like” them on Facebook.

guest blogger, health, meditation, wellness, yoga

My Guest Post on Betterfly Today: Overcoming Insomnia with Yoga and Meditation

Christa Avampato

Lauren Margolis, blog maven over at Betterfly, a community of individual Betterists who help you look, feel, and live your best life. Lauren reached out to me after reading my blog and asked if I’d write a guest post for the Betterfly blog. I jumped at the chance to share my story about how yoga, meditation, and some additional evening rituals help me to unwind and get a good night’s sleep after years of insomnia.

Check out the guest post here. I also have a Betterist profile on Betterfly. It’s free to create a profile and search for coaches and instructors of all kinds on Betterfly – come visit us!

adventure, career, creativity, guest blogger, health, writing

Beginning: Guest Post by Monica McCarthy of Morning Do

Christa Avampato

Monica McCarthy is one of my favorite Twitter-turned-real-life connections (@MissMcCarthy). She is an actress and holistic health coach living in New York City. Her blog, Morning Do, is a collection of her writings on healthy living. Monica is having a transformative 2011 already and I’m so thrilled that she agreed to write a guest post. She writes here about her love of new beginnings and some of her latest adventures.

When I was in elementary school I won first place in a writing competition for a poem entitled Every Ending Is A New Beginning. Little did I know then how many new beginnings would take place over the years.

I love new beginnings, always have. Maybe that’s because as a kid, I spent my summers jumping from one summer camp to another while both of my parents worked. Every week or two there were new places to explore, new friends to meet, new things to do.

As an adult, I have a similar approach when it comes to career. The results of a personality/career test I took recently stated the most important component of my Ideal Career was Spontaneity. Yep – that sounds about right.

This past year, the pull of New Beginnings strengthened tenfold. I became certified as a Holistic Health Coach after having switched to a vegan lifestyle after having understudied actress and vegan Alicia Silverstone in a Broadway play. In an effort to learn everything I could about the benefits of a plant-based diet, I also interned for the radiant Kris Carr for a bit and assisted the lovely Victoria Moran, both incredibly knowledgeable women in the vegan/health community.

Last October I started the Healthy Living website Morning DO and entered the amazing and fascinating world of blogging and social media where I’ve met some extraordinary people like Christa!

Oh, and I got engaged! So now I’m entering the crazy world of DIY weddings. Oh, I also started taking French classes because I love languages and had never studied French. Oh, and last month I took my first photography class. Oh, and last week I ran in my first New York Road Runners Race. Oh, and at the end of this month I’m taking my first painting class.

I guess you could say I’m a new beginnings fanatic. I believe we learn more about ourselves every time we try something new. The catch, of course, is we can’t do everything at once. There are still only 24 hours in a day. Every new beginning must lead to an end.

Which leaves me with just one question: What’s next?

Monica McCarthy is a certified Holistic Health Coach, writer, and actress living in NYC. She loves helping her clients transform their health and happiness in ways they never even thought possible. Her passion for healthy lifestyle make-overs is the basis for her website MorningDO.com where you can find useful tips and helpful hints along with a daily Morning DO exercise. Monica lives with her fiance and their rescue pup and spends her free time planning for their DIY wedding.

books, leadership, meditation, yoga

Beginning: Deepak Chopra and The Soul of Leadership

Christa Avampato

This post is also available as a podcast on Cinch and on iTunes.

“You are the mighty ocean in the drop.” ~ Rumi

“Leaders need to be reminders to their people of their own dreams.” ~ Dr. Deepak Chopra

On Monday night I attended an event put on by Inc Magazine at the Morgan Stanley headquarters. Dr. Chopra has written a new book, The Soul of Leadership: Unlocking Your Potential for Greatness. Yes, it’s an insightful read if you’re a CEO though it’s equally as helpful for those who see themselves as the CEO of their own lives, which is to say it’s a book for everyone.

There was so much information delivered in the hour-long event that I’m still processing a good deal of it for future posts. The quotes above are the ones that keep coming to the surface of my thoughts. It’s so easy to just imagine that we are only one small soul is a vast sea. Rumi, in his endlessly comforting words, says no, you, just as you are, have within in you as much potential as that vast sea. Your contributions, thoughts, ideas, and dreams matter a great deal. Your dreams, give rise to the dreams of others, and when living your dreams, you are inspiring others to do the same. Like passing a candle, your light gives light to others.

As Dr. Chopra continued to talk about the need for a wisdom-based society and the need to return to our role as human beings instead of human doings, he advocated for meditation and yoga. He talked about the need to stop the inner dialogue so that the wise creativity within us will spontaneously rise to the surface. The wisdom we need already lies within us if only we will quiet the mind long enough to hear it. This idea made me see meditation and yoga not as just healthy rituals, but as a necessary practice for reaching our own potential.

The idea I kept returning to was one of connection. We are now all linked across oceans and continents in a closer, more intimate way than we have ever been before. We will only grow closer as technology becomes more sophisticated and wide-spread. How we run our lives and our communities has great impacts in every other corner of the world. “No karmic debt ever goes unpaid. It is the only perfect accounting system,” Dr. Chopra said. How we treat each other, inspire each other, and encourage each other could mean a better world for all of us. And if we don’t nuture one another, then the consequences are dire. Our connection to one another will be our demise or our savior, and that outcome is largely determined by us.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.