“After my very deep depression, I feel really lucky to have had experience with something so dark and sad. It helps me paint the brightest colors.” ~ Hahn-Bin, violinist
My friend, Sara, invited me to Hahn-Bin’s violin concert on Sunday night at the Rubin Museum. After a productive day (a.k.a. a Sunday that was too busy for my liking), I joined Sara at the concert that turned out to be part performance art, part theatre, part visual design – all orchestrated by a 22-year old virtuoso musician with a very strong sense of himself and his vision. He is stunning, in appearance and in his musicality.
Already blown away by his nearly 2-hour performance, Hahn-Bin gave a very personal talk-back in which he talked about his fascination with world religion, his belief in the highly personal nature of art interpretation, and his struggles with and triumphs over depression. Watching him play with such ease and grace, I was confused by his depression. With a packed house and such a highly individual, refreshing voice in the highly stuffy world of classical music, what is he depressed about? And then I considered how difficult it must be to fight against the traditional music scene, filled with conservatories that are filled with professors who tell you what art and music mean. He must have had many moments of extreme self-doubt, of worry and concern for his future. He placed all his chips on his music – to fail at this would be mean failure in the highest degree.
Hahn-Bin’s story now is a triumphant one – someone who went for his art along his own path because it was the only thing he wanted to do. With his life and his art, he is teaching us an incredible lesson. To create his life, he just followed his interests. And along any path, even one we choose with all our heart, there will be highs and lows. There will be successes and failures and moments of extreme discomfort. Just because we’re going in the right direction doesn’t mean we’re immune to pain.
The right path isn’t the one filled with sunshine and roses; it’s the one where we feel most alive, where we can experience the great depth and breadth of the human experience. It makes us strong without hardening our hearts. It gives us courage and teaches us grace. And if we can make a go of the life we truly want to live, then we also have the opportunity to inspire others to do the same.
Photo above of Hahn-Bin by Morgan Freeman.
Christa Avampato 