“How much pain they have cost us, the evils which have never happened.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
“Fear paralyzes; curiosity empowers. Be more interested than afraid.” ~ Patricia Alexander,
American educational psychologist
Thomas Jefferson and Patricia Alexander talk to us about worry and its cohort, fear – that nagging little voice in the back of our minds that has us concerned with circumstances we cannot control, imagined scenarios, or thoughts akin to “what makes you think you can do (x)?” I’ve had this ill of worry since I returned from Greece. Greece and the Greek people I found to be a beautiful; the yoga retreat fell short for a variety of reasons – the biggest being that I just didn’t fit with the school of thought being promoted. The yoga, as defined by the retreat, was not my yoga.
I’ve been on the worry path wondering, “now what do I do? How do I move forward? Or worse yet, do I not move forward at all?” After a number of conversations with friends, the worry has subsided. I won’t move down the path I thought I was going to be on. I’m hopping off that train and looking for a new road. My yoga doesn’t exist where I thought it should be. It’s out there somewhere – destination TBD. I’m not standing still, just making the conscious decision to move on.
It’s hard to leave the nest, the nurturing home that felt right yesterday, and today which I recognize is not my own. For the next little while, I’m going to try out a few different styles and follow my gut to find what’s right for me. My friend, Laura, and I have talked about planning a retreat in the near future, the kind of retreat we’d like most to be on, because we don’t need permission any more to “do”, just the will to give it a go. Details to follow.
Worry can paralyze us – it has certainly paralyzed me for the past week. I slept a lot, talked to friends who could help me reason through my disappointment and disillusion, and considered how the future may take shape, a different shape than I’ve been planning. At the moment it’s a tiny speck out there in the distance. The next few weeks, I’ll be trying to bring it closer and more into focus.
Christa Avampato 