Step 113: F.E.A.R.

“F.E.A.R. – false evidence appearing real.” ~ Tracy, my yoga teacher

Whenever I have class with my yoga teacher, Tracy, I keep my pen close by. She always has pearls of wisdom that she carefully places before us as an offering, wisdom that has been passed down to her from her own practice and meditation and her teachers. Last night she laid the quote above before us and asked us to consider why we would hold any fear at all give this acronym. I couldn’t think of any good reasons.

It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of letting our thoughts get the best of us. Certainly they should make us considerate of our actions, though we can’t allow them to prevent us from finding our true way. Lately I’ve been feeling my way toward my path with a little more spring in my step than usual. I’m growing increasingly aware that my life’s work, that elusive things I’ve been rummaging around for, is just around the corner, and so every day I wake up with the feeling that today might be the day when all these pieces that seem to be heading toward one another finally coalesce so beautifully that I wonder why I didn’t see their connection all along.

Every once in a while I catch myself believing in my false evidence appearing positive: “There are lots of yoga teachers in this city, all over the world. What will you do that’s so different?” or “There are people who are professionally trained industrial designers who develop products. How can you produce something as elegant as their work?” During my 18 minutes of meditation a day, my mind’s eye recognizes these F.E.A.R.s, acknowledges them, and then politely moves on. This doesn’t mean they go away completely; I certainly have moments of self-doubt. Can I really make a go of my own business? Can I really offer up something special and unique? And the answer I keep hearing, “well what else are you going to do with your time here if not create something special and unique.” Prana has a sense of humor. And it’s blunt. It’s got no time for messing around.

So I’ve started cranking along, planting lots and lots of seeds in all of this rich soil in my life. Every once in a while an early shoot sprouts up, I go over and water it, and despite my best efforts it just doesn’t root down properly. That’s okay. I thank it for making an appearance, showing me a way, knowing that its possibility put me one step closer to finding my way.

False evidence is all around us, and its a very good actor. But if we take the time to really sift through, to really match up the opportunities we find with what we truly want, it’s easy to detect which options are distractions and which ones we really need to cultivate. The next little adventure I’ll be cultivating is a trip to Santorini, Greece for a yoga retreat and teacher training with Shiva Rea. I have been looking for a retreat for some time now that really offer a nice combo of downtime and practice, in a place I’ve never been, with a teacher I really respect and admire. It just happened to work out that the week Shiva’s going is the perfect time for me to take a vacation, the price is perfect, and the theme “radical relaxation” is just what my curious soul needs. Synchronicity: a sure sign that I’m going exactly where I need to be. F.E.A.R.s be gone…

The image above is not my own. It depicts the sunset in Santorini, Greece, hopefully similar to the ones I’ll be seeing very soon. It can be found here.