decision-making, determination, yoga

Step 72: Attitude

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” ~ William James, American philosopher

Today began my second weekend of yoga teacher training. Two weeks ago, I left the first day of my training with my head swimming, my emotions racing, and a lot of self-doubt living inside my body. All I could do was go home, go to bed, and promise myself that no matter what, I would get up the next day, go back to that studio, and give my best. I’ve got attitude in spades.

And my attitude on the yoga the mat is beginning to infiltrate other areas of my life in powerful ways. Last night when I found out I didn’t get into Columbia’s PhD program, I couldn’t even be upset. Nor was I disappointed. My first reaction was “well I guess my path leads a different way.” Last week I had lunch with my boss and we talked about our shared belief that we could learn just about anything we ever needed to learn. It might be difficult and it may take us some time, but if we really put our minds to anything, we could reason through it. Attitude at the beginning of a task or how we accept news we didn’t anticipate, makes all the difference in how we pull through.

Somehow, without even knowing it, I took all the yoga I’ve been practicing out in the world for so many years and embodied it to apply to issues in life that have nothing to do with yoga. My practice changed me. It gave me a better attitude. It helps me to let go and trust. Or at the very least, it helps me to keep trying.

anthropology, career, education

Step 71: Columbia Regrets to Inform You…

Several month ago I applied to a PhD program at Columbia’s Teachers College. I had found what I thought was a perfect program, Anthropology and Education, at just the right time. I carefully crafted my application, got my recommendation letters together, and took my GRE. Despite the rejection notice today, I know I put forward the strongest application I possibly could. And it’s okay that I didn’t get accepted – I guess that program is just not meant to be a part of my path right now.

I am very proud of the admissions essay I wrote and so I decided to share it below. The fact that Columbia will not immediately be a part of the journey that this essay lays out is not a terrible thing. I’ll find another way now to keep making progress toward bringing this dream to life — not only because I want to see it become a reality but more importantly because so many people in this country, in this world, need this solution:

“How did you learn to make stuff?” whispered Superior, one of my 7th grade Junior Achievement students at M.S. 223 in the South Bronx, when I described my career as a product developer.

“I made something once and it didn’t work so well so I just kept changing it until it did work well. A lot of trial and error and trial again,” I replied. “This process is called prototyping.”

He looked at me with a very serious expression. “I want to learn to make stuff, too.”

“And what kind of company do you want to work for?” I asked.

“My own. I don’t want to work for anyone else, ever,” he said.

Inspired by this conversation with Superior last year, I began to seriously consider a professional career in education. I was stunned by his interest in entrepreneurship at such a young age. I asked each student in the class what career they would like to have. 8 out of 10 wanted to have their own businesses where they made their own original products. These students were budding entrepreneurs, and I want to help them open their own businesses by providing them with a curriculum that teaches them the skills that will make them successful in their pursuits.

Our most successful lesson to date at M.S. 223 involved improvised skits to demonstrate the importance of insurance during emergency situations. The children came alive when asked to perform. I understood this feeling well because I made my career in professional theatre for 6 years. Additionally, the students quickly learned the complicated vocabulary and intrinsic value of insurance through their performances. The students were gifted storytellers. They showed me how all of my professional experiences could be brought to bear in a classroom setting. I found my home in the field of education at M.S. 223 thanks to those students.

As I headed for the subway that day last year, I felt a mix of emotions. I was tired from a long day and appreciative of what it takes to be a teacher in New York City public schools. I was happy to lend my time to a group of children who were eager to learn and in need of adult role models. I was frustrated with the holes in their curriculum and sad because I knew the dire living situations of these children.

Mostly, I felt responsible. I grew up below the poverty line so I understand the personal circumstances these children face every day. The odds of success are stacked against them just as they were stacked against me. Even though I grew up in a difficult socioeconomic situation, public education helped me to change my circumstances. I have a fervent desire to help other students the way that my family, teachers, and guidance counselors helped me to break the cycle of poverty by encouraging my natural creativity and love for learning. These children at M.S. 223, and the many other children around the world just like them, can better their own lives through hard work and commitment – I know that first hand. They can choose their better history so long as we build public education systems that provide opportunities for broad-based learning and success.

Design thinking, the discipline of using the creative problem-solving skills of a designer, is an ideal tool to re-imagine public education systems. While I have used design thinking as a product developer for almost a decade in a number of different industries, only recently have I begun to consider its application in social enterprise.

The development of education systems that tap into design is critical to our future. In corporations I meet many employees who feel downtrodden and powerless, unable to tap their personal creativity that can develop break-through innovation. They literally have to have their creativity and confidence rebuilt from the ground up because their education system and the companies where they work told them that people like accountants, computer programmers, and sales people are not the creative ones in an organization. Corporations cannot afford this kind of mindset in our new economy; to survive they need the creative engines of every employee.

Superior has more confidence in his creative abilities than most professional business people I know. We need education systems that reinforce creative confidence, not tear it down. It would be more effective to build a public education system that fosters creativity all the way through rather than trying to teach adult professionals how to be as creative as children. It is to this end that I plan to dedicate my career going forward.

Building public education systems based on design thinking will be my contribution to humanity. A doctoral degree from Columbia’s Teachers College in Anthropology and Education will be an asset for me as I pursue this dream. This program is the only doctoral program I am applying to because of its unique emphasis on a deep, disciplined understanding of culture as a critical component to building effective education systems. I am particularly enthusiastic about this program because it recognizes that educational environments can be found throughout a community and because of its history as a pioneer, a history that perfectly suits my plans to innovate in the field of education.

By conducting on-the-ground research and development in design thinking applied to public education, I can help many children across the globe to live happier, more productive lives. The concerns that our world faces are serious and many, and they demand that we muster every bit of our collective creativity to find solutions that bring about real, long-lasting change. When I consider how I can best lever up my abilities to do the most good in the world, my thoughts always return to the field of education because it is the lynchpin that makes transformative change possible. Education is our greatest hope for a better world and a brighter future.”

books, health, healthcare

Step 70: Mountains Beyond Mountains

“It is so easy, at least for me, to mistake a person’s material resources for his interior ones.” ~ Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains

Today I finished Tracy Kidder’s excellent book about Paul Farmer and his nonprofit, Partners in Health, a global nonprofit organization, started in Haiti, that has changed the perception of basic health care from a privilege to a social justice. Being able to have the tools to heal is a birth right, not something reserved for the wealthy and powerful. Paul Farmer has given his life for this simply articulated belief: every life matters equally.

Biography and autobiography is a fascinating thing. While we hear about someone else’s journey, we cannot help but examine our own. By viewing someone else’s place in the world, their contributions to humanity, we begin to consider and re-consider our place, our contribution.

As I left yoga class today, my head was swimming. I’ve got too much information coming at me a million miles an hour: at work, in yoga class, in my volunteer hours, from my friends and family. I’m trying to date as much as I can, and then also leave some time each day for myself. For my own thoughts and reflections. My life is bursting with, well, life.

And then I finished Mountains Beyond Mountains, and I let out a huge sigh of relief. I’m trying to just manage my own little corner of the world. Paul Farmer is out there actually saving many corners of the Earth – the most desperate, the poorest, the ones that need immediate attention before they decay entirely beyond any recognition. He is Atlas, and he will not shrug.

So give me yoga asanas, Sanskrit, sacred hindu texts, new technology, org chart after org chart, change and then more change, and any and every trouble and triumph of my many beautiful friends and family members. I can take it all in, and still feel whole and complete, still take care of my own heart and body and soul. I’ve got this.

If Paul Farmer can wrap his mind around treating TB, HIV / AIDS, and everything that comes along with that, in Haiti, Peru, Russia, Guatemala, Roxbury, and Lesotho to name just a few of the regions of the world his worked has touched, then surely I can do my fair share. After all, we are all just people, fallible, imperfect, stunning examples of grace. There is always more to do, always. And that is a beautiful realization. The Haitians say it best, “There are always mountains beyond mountains.” Let us hope that our work is never really done, and let’s celebrate that.

The image above is Paul Farmer with a young boy in Haiti at his clinic. It was taken by Maupali Das.

relationships, swim

Step 69: Waves of Our Lives

“When we realize we are the Ocean, we are no longer afraid of the Waves.” ~ Unknown

I learned to swim when I was 30. I could doggy paddle and float on my back just fine as a kid, though no one else in my family swims so I never learned. Finally, I realized I really wanted to learn to scuba dive so I signed myself up for adult swimming lessons at UVA, where I was in graduate school at the time. I did well in that set of lessons, though I must confess that I am still nervous in the water. Despite that I am a Pisces, water is an uncomfortable medium for me.

I saw the quote above on my yoga teacher, Lauren’s, email signature yesterday. Perhaps this realization is what I’ve been missing. I see myself as separate from the water, despite the fact that our bodies are comprised mostly of water. I have been thinking of water as something I need to fight through, not something I need to be in communion with.

And isn’t that the way of our existence in the world, too. In our jobs, our relationships, our hardships, even in our most triumphant moments. Much of our human experience is a battle. We fight over, under, around, and through. But what if we could recognize that we are actually part of the great flow of energy? Could we utilize the energy around us not as something to cut through, but rather as something that is a part of us? That is us. We could take all of the effort we spend to fight our way through and put it toward lifting ourselves up while taking others with us.

adventure, creativity

Step 68: Ways of Making Patterns

“Take your needle, my child, and work out your pattern. It will come out a rose by and by. Life is like that.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

My friend, Lon, sent me this quote today after reading my post from yesterday about making patterns instead of plans. It should be noted publicly that Lon is one of the people in my life who cheers me on no matter what and that I reciprocate that support. When I start a new project, when I end a project, when I’m just going about my life, Lon sends me positive messages that keep me going. This quote today was one of many that Lon has sent me over the time we’ve been friends, and I thought about it all day today.

While it’s easy to tell people “go make a plan”, “go make a pattern”, it helps to have some direction on how to do these things. I’m really great at making plans, though as I said yesterday, my life never follows them. My life unfolds in patterns. While I try to remain as open as possible to the universe presenting me with opportunities, I do seek out certain types of opportunities. Which begs the question, “how do I decide to find certain opportunities or patterns?” What gets me going in the directions I’m going in?

If you’re looking to create positive patterns in your life, I hope the following ideas help to get you started:

1.) As much as I may love a certain path I’m on, I’m never afraid to do an about-face and try something completely new.
2.) I got over the “I don’t think I can do that” dilemma a long time ago. Barring brain surgery, I don’t think there’s much I can’t do if I really put my mind to it.
3.) I’m a pretty relentless person in every sense. If I really want to go somewhere, try something, achieve something, it’s going to be tough to dissuade me. Developing positive patterns takes persistence. Don’t give up.
4.) I believe in the process of continuous improvement. (Somewhere my business school teachers are smiling wide at this statement.) As a child, I was obsessed with perfection until I’d been disappointed so many times that I realized perfection is rarely if ever attainable. And thank goodness! If perfection were consistently possible, think of all the fantastic, imperfect experiences we’d miss out on. My yoga teacher, Lauren, explained to us that our yoga would never be perfect – no one’s is – so we don’t have to worry. Learning is a life-long process so take your time and enjoy it, knowing that no matter how much we learn, there will always be more.
5.) Biographies and autobiographies help. A lot. I read them all the time. And from them I take little bits of learning from the lives of others, and follow the examples that I admire the most.

So go ahead and take up the needle, as Oliver Wendell Holmes counsels us to do. You cannot fail. This is your life, your pattern, to create. Just keep at it. You’ll be surprised what a beautiful masterpiece you can weave. And my deepest thanks to my pal, Lon, for just being marvelously you, because you inspire me to be me.

career, decision-making, design, relationships

Step 67: Making Patterns Instead of Plans

I am coming to the end of Mountains Beyond Mountains, a book about the journey of Paul Farmer, the founder of Partners in Health (PIH). PIH has been one of the biggest players in the relief efforts in Haiti because Farmer has been doing critical medical work there for decades under grueling conditions. He has given his life for the people of Haiti, and more broadly for the belief that health care is a global right of all people. He takes the stance that withholding health care from people is a violation of social justice. It’s clear from the book that Paul Farmer’s entire life, professional, personal, and spiritual, follow from this single belief. He makes things happens, and in turn for his tireless efforts, the world has also opened the way for him.

This morning I read a passage on the subway that stopped me in my tracks because it rang so true for me in my own life. “It seemed to me,” wrote author Tracy Kidder, “that he didn’t have a plan for his life so much as he had a pattern.” Many times in my life people have counseled me to get a plan, and so respecting their advice I would dutifully go off and make a plan, only to have it be sent out the window as the world repositioned me in another direction. When people ask me about my plans, personally or professionally, I’ve always felt a bit uncomfortable. I make plans; my life just doesn’t seem to follow them. This idea of creating a pattern and using it throughout our lives as we make choices and evaluate more options resonates very deeply with me. Creating and utilizing patterns seems like a much more fruitful endeavor than making plans.

So here are some of the patterns I create in my life:
1.) I like to be challenged to “think different”
2.) I thrive in environments where I have to be both creative and analytical, when I can have my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground
3.) People and relationships energize me and inspire me; I am not made to be entirely alone in solitude
4.) Having a higher purpose is important to me
5.) Vertical learning curves are fun to scale
6.) I love networking and introducing people to one another – the more I can mix it up, the better
7.) I like to find that hidden gem: a side of someone’s personality that they don’t express all the time, a new place that’s still largely unknown, or a new idea that turns widely held conceptions on their heads
8.) I resist any force that tries to put me in a certain box with a big ol’ label on it; I defy boxes and labels to even try to contain me!

If this idea of patterns resonates with you, too, I’d love to hear how they play out in your life.

change, Spring

Step 66: Spring is on the Way

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

My friend, Amanda, got me interested in a daily blog called hip tranquil chick. It’s written by Amanda’s yoga teacher from her time in D.C. The quote above appeared today in the newsletter with the following question: “How would you like to emerge this Spring?”

This weekend New York City received the gift of 50 degree weather and buckets of sunshine. It was a little nippy in the shade, though those few afternoon hours that comprise the warmest parts of the day gave us a hint of what’s in store for Spring. I turned my face up to the sun today, and it felt like that was the first time we’d ever met.

I took myself over to Riverside Park. When it’s nice outside, I spend hours there watching the soccer leagues practice, reading a book, and listening to my ipod. I like to watch the world go by in that tiny corner of space. I heard snippets of conversations, watched friends and lovers and families pass by laughing, and secretly I held a tiny bit of jealousy for all the dog owners enjoying life with their canine pals. At that point I reminded myself that this summer I’m going to over to the local ASPCA to rescue a pup of my own.

As I looked out over the Hudson, I thought about that question, “How would I like to emerge this Spring?” And then very quickly the answer that followed was, “I don’t know.” I was reminded of my yoga teacher, Johanna, when she described how she came to yoga 6 years ago. She had been through a rough time, and her career as a dancer had ended due to an injury. She came to yoga for answers, and at first the only answer she found was, “I don’t know.” But in that unknown, she had the opportunity to re-invent herself, to re-invent her career and her place in the world. Within “I don’t know” there is a great freedom that exists. We open ourselves up to the world, to all of the energy around us, taking it in, and giving it the chance to transform our hearts and minds. Who knows what lies around the bend as Spring approaches.

I smiled at this thought of the unknown, of the treasures that lie in wait once our friend, Spring, arrives in full-force. I’m not sure how I will emerge or how my life will change once the buds are on the trees and the daffodils make their way to the surface of the gardens in Riverside Park. I do know that whatever those changes are, I will be ready to receive them, smiling.

nonprofit, social change, volunteer

Step 65: Get Active with Takepart.com

“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.” ~ H. Ross Perot

I never thought I’d say that Ross Perot is a man who inspired me. This quote of his really hit me a few days ago and as I spent most of the day today walking around New York City, I kept coming back to this sentiment. I am blessed to live in this beautiful city, and yet there are so many things about it that can be, should be, improved.

On my long walks I heard people talk about how this should be cleaned up, that should be fixed, and something should be done about the other thing. While the recognition of something that needs fixing is the first step toward getting it repaired, we need to do more. We have to put our time and efforts into acting on what needs fixing.

This week I heard about a nonprofit, Takepart.com. Whether your passion is education, the arts, the environment, or any cause in between, there are plenty of ways to get educated on an issue, connect with others who have the same passion, and then get actively involved in working toward a better world. Afterall, activism at its very core is about getting up and taking part.

1

Step 64: Pay Me Later

On the cartoon Popeye, Whimpy is a character who always has a hankering for a hamburger. His most famous line, which he repeats often, is “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” He loves his burgers, but he never seems to have the money to pay for them when his craving strikes. And he always seems to find some kind soul to give him the burger, with the promise of paying later on.

Today when I went out to get my sandwich at lunch time, I felt a bit like Whimpy. I ordered without realizing that they don’t take American Express. I had only brought my Amex cards along with me and left the rest of my wallet at my desk. I told the man behind the counter that I wouldn’t be able to take the sandwich.

“No worries. You take the sandwich now and just pay me later.”

“Huh?” I said.

“Take the sandwich, enjoy your lunch, and bring me the money later,” he repeated.

“Really?” I asked.

“Really,” he said.

This man had never seen me before – I rarely go to this cafe for a sandwich. Of course I brought him the money as soon as I finished my sandwich. He didn’t seem surprised to see me. I thanked him, and told him that he made my day. He just smiled humbly, and wished me a good weekend. It was nice to be reminded that there’s still such a thing as trust among strangers. And I think the world is better off for it.

1

Step 63: We Are All Product Developers

“You are a product. Develop it.” ~ Tom Peters

Since Saturday, my mind has been a giant whirlwind of Sanskrit, anatomy, sacred Hindu texts, new technologies, and economic headlines. With my yoga teacher training underway and closing out my second week at my new job, I feel like my mind is gaining mass at an alarming rate. It sounds like I should be exhausted when in fact I’m skipping around my apartment at nearly 11PM. I feel myself radiating.

This feeling of lightness, of boundless energy, comes from living out in the world what I feel in my heart. When we live what we love our life’s activities builds up our stamina and creativity. They give us more than they take away. We become a product, a temple, of happiness. And I gotta tell ya, it feels pretty darn fantastic.

So, yes, by training and trade, I am a product developer. In life, we are all product developers. The products, our hearts, souls, minds, bodies, want and need to be developed. For me, that meant getting a new job doing work I love and finally getting to that full yoga teaching certification I’ve wanted for a number of years. And once those two things are complete, I’ll find something else. I’ll take a class on collage. I’ll improve my Spanish. I’ll continue my quest to make a difference in public education. I’ll learn to play the piano. Product development is a deeply personal, never-ending process. And that’s the real beauty of it – there is always more to do, more to learn, more impact to make, just around the bend. Keep going.