I’m a little off today. Maybe it’s because I’m 34 now. Maybe it’s all of the awakening that’s happening in my yoga practice that’s making me a little loopy. Could be day light savings time is causing me some adjustments. Or the new job. Or the fact that I have a really bad sore throat for no reason at all because the rest of me feels just fine. Despite the day off yesterday, I’m exhausted today. Exhausted as in I’m finishing this post and falling into my bed, literally.
I’ve also been having this weird little sense of wanting to curl up and cocoon, which is completely out of sync with what’s happening in the rest of the world. Spring is springing, and I feel like I should be springing, except for this tiny little fact that I’m craving the sensation of being low, near to the Earth, and grounded. How is it that yesterday I felt so in tune with the world and today I don’t feel in tune with anyone or anything? What’s going on?
On the subway this morning, I began reading the Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Hindu scripture that nearly all yogis refer to in their practice in some way. In the introduction, the translator wrote the line “personality is a process.” He goes on to talk about conflicting emotions and the general conundrums of living an existence on this Earth, even though we are heavenly beings. He talks about the push-pull of living, and it appears, at least at the beginning of this reading, that the only way around this is through. We must persevere.
So that’s what I’ll do. I’ll just keep going, even though I’m confused and unsure. Many times I think that perseverance may be the one thing I know how to do well. If I trust the process, then I trust that the answers will come.
Christa Avampato 