“I frequently laugh while contemplating my future.” ~ A Little Night Music
My friend, Rob, took me to see A Little Night Music to get my birthday kicked off in style. We couldn’t pass up the chance to see Angela Lansbury, who is stunning in the role. Rob knows the show well, but I’d never seen it before even though I know a good deal of the music. Send in the Clowns, one of the most prominent musical numbers, is among my favorites.
One of the things I loved most about the show was its poignant one-liners, sentiments that pop off the stage without being too sappy or preachy. Like the one quoted above, they are simple expressions of the human condition. My sister, Weez, will tell you that I am laughing all the time, even in my sleep. My niece, Lorelei, laughs in her sleep, too. We think our future, heck our past and present too, is funny.
I go about making my plans, and then wake up every morning wondering what happened. How did I get HERE? I’m equally amazed by the challenges I’ve been dealt, and the many good fortunes, too. I work hard, though I never really planned much of this life o’ mine. And ever year when my birthday comes around, I’m surprised at where I’ve landed because I never saw any of it coming my way. There’s no need to push, pull, tug, or hurry along life – it really happens on its own.
So on the eve of my 34th birthday, I’m smiling, laughing even, because I just don’t know where my future is headed and for the first time in my life I feel okay about it. It’s okay to be empty. It’s okay to have someone ask me, “so what’s next” and to hear myself respond, “I don’t know.”
My friend, Trevin, called me today to wish me a happy birthday in advance. I actually got a little choked up while listening to his voice mail. “You’re do amazing things with your life just by being you, Christa,” he said. That made me laugh out loud, too. In a way he was telling me to just relax, enjoy my life, and sure, laugh into the future. After all, what’s the alternative?
Christa Avampato 