Nuance is on my mind today. I had brunch with my friend, Dan, over the weekend and I was explaining to him that during dinner with my very sweet and handsome neighbor, I had sometimes had trouble with his accent. He would say a word like “axe” and I thought he was saying the letter “x”. He would say phrases like “my brother is in the army” and I would here “my brother’s my enemy”. The more this happens the more embarrassing it gets.
Dan said he had a similar experience when he first met his friend, Giel, who is from France. Giel would say a phrase like “mojitos are great. They have “meat” in them.” And Dan would look at him with a face of confusion. They would go back and forth for a little while until the reverted to spelling out words, or in my case, I would make hand motions to be understood, despite the fact that both people are speaking the same language. And invariably, these conversations end with the person coming out of the fog of confusion saying something like “oh, MINT in the mojitos.” We seek to be understood.
I’ve noticed that this also happens to me lately with emails. I immediately assume all emails are hostile until I see them laden with smiley faces and xo’s. I’m exaggerating here (slightly) though I have a really uncanny knack for assuming that anyone emailing me is actually yelling at me. Then I read a “decidedly” mean-spirited email to an unbiased friend, and that friend will say, “um, Christa, I think you’re completely making up that tone of voice. It sounds fine to me.” And I reply, “oh! Now I see.”
I wonder how responsible nuance and mutual misunderstanding are for where our lives end up. Do we infer things that are not there, and in turn walk away from situations that we should have stayed in, or vice versa? How do we clear up this business of nuance? How do we hear what’s really there, and really isn’t there though it should be?
There’s a case to be made for spelling out the world as we see it, and having the humility and grace to accept correction when we misstep. This is hard word, and it takes time and patience, on both sides. I’m making a pact to listen more completely and more openly, and making myself understood in the way I wish to be understood. Again I am reminded that constant, clear communication can make all the difference, or at the very least keep meat out of my mojito.
Published by Christa Avampato
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
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Christa Avampato 